do you feel comfortable dating significantly older woman?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by voyeuristic, Dec 8, 2008.

  1. voyeuristic

    voyeuristic New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2008
    Messages:
    648
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    16
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Bay Area
    I'm a bit of a cradlerobber, we'll say, and I've hit on plenty of boys in their late teens and early twenties. Initially they seem really flattered and claim that age isn't an issue, but they sometimes seem to have a hard time moving outside of the fantasy realm...I can think of a situation last year where I had a great pizza date with a 21 y.o. who seemed eager to see me again, but had cold feet when I called him proposing fooling around at my place. Our mutual friend confirmed that he was definitely interested..eventually he got up the nerve and called me back, but by then I'd lost interest. I don't think he was used to the lack of pretense people usually go through to get laid, but it wasn't because he was looking for something serious - I think a lot of young dudes think "wow, it would be awesome if some girl told me she wanted to suck me off right now," but have no idea how to behave when it actually happens.

    One interest told me I was a hottie and seemed awesome, but claimed that he was intimidated by all my life experience, and that he couldn't begin to measure up to me in that respect. I didn't expect him to have as much life experience as me - it was enough that he was doing really interesting things with himself and on the right path.

    I guess what I've noticed is that when there's more than a five year age difference, boys really like the ego boost of having a "cougar" or "puma" expresss interest, but are often unsure how to handle our forthrightness and would prefer to relegate us to masturbation fodder.

    I'm usually assumed to be in my early or mid-twenties, too, which makes things especially tricky - the youngsters are sometimes interested until they hear how old I am, at which point they back off. It's ridiculous to me b/c it seems like it'd be the best of both worlds - someone who can pass for an age peer but has the experience of having been around a bit longer.

    So, young guys, what do you think? Would you mess around with a woman five or ten years (or more) your senior? Would you seriously date one? Would you be freaked out by what your friends or family would think of the age difference? Are you concerned that she'll expect a level of seriousness you can't commit to at your age, or delighted by her ability to ask for what she wants? What do you think the advantages and disadvantages of being "the younger man" are?
     
    #1 voyeuristic, Dec 8, 2008
    Last edited: Dec 8, 2008
  2. MrGoodDate

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2007
    Messages:
    1,299
    Likes Received:
    18
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    near Kansas City
    this old man would just love to mess around with you....
     
  3. voyeuristic

    voyeuristic New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2008
    Messages:
    648
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    16
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Bay Area
    Um, thanks for sharing, Date, but I'd love to get some feedback from the young guys!
     
  4. trentster

    trentster New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2008
    Messages:
    465
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    As long as I loved her and she loved me, and we got along, had the same interests, ect. I would not mind dating an older woman. I seem to get along better with women older than me anyway. It might be something that my family would have to get used to, but I would never take than into consideration.

    A lot of young guys go to older women because the perceived lack of wanting a relationship. I would love to find a woman who is forthright and asks me out. No matter her age, it's about the connection for me.

    Being the younger man, I would fear that she would leave me for someone more attractive, and just keep "trading up". Age doesn't really matter to me, and long as I like her, I don't consider the age.
     
  5. D_Selmus_Swallow

    D_Selmus_Swallow Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2004
    Messages:
    804
    Likes Received:
    6
    It seems everyone I have any sort of thing for that I know personally is between my age (24) and roughly 35. One in particular is the sister of the girlfriend of a friend of mine in Baltimore. At 32-33 she's definitely someone I got along with really well and contemplated hooking up with when I was out there. I suppose if either she or I were moving to live in closer proximity to each other I'd date her.

    I have almost nothing to do with the rest of my generation frankly (most of my friends go from mid-20's to 60 with most of them 10-12 years older) and find it hard to relate to most people my age or younger. I guess I just tend to be a little more mature and thoughtful and serious compared to my demographic. On the other hand most people mistake me at first glance for being 5-10 years younger than I am (something I'll probably enjoy in my 30's but for now just means I get carded a lot at bars :rolleyes:) so I dunno.

    I do get hit on occasionally by tipsy/drunk women who are old enough to be my mother though. Aside from the fact that they tend to be fairly unattractive and not my type I do appreciate their boldness, even if partially booze-inspired. Too many head games with younger women for my taste usually. It's rare to find a young woman who will just be direct with her interest.

    So yeah, send in those thirty-somethings!
     
  6. B_starinvestor

    B_starinvestor New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2006
    Messages:
    4,409
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Midwest
    I'm 36 now, but have dated older women since I was 24. I don't see a problem with it at all. When women get into their mid 30's, a little more pressure is there because of the biological clock...it just presents a few more issues.

    In my experience, it is usually the older woman that has issues dating younger men.
     
  7. bbblowme

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 29, 2007
    Messages:
    118
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    Oklahoma City (OK, US)
    Verified:
    Photo
    Cougars all the way!

    Personally, I am sick of these little immature bitchs. I want a "women" that knows what she wants.

    Hope that helps

    I didn't notice the dating part. About two years ago I dated a 29 year old for about 5 months. Everybody called her my sugar momma. She did take care of me as much as I took care of her.
    Good times, but then after everyday of seeing each other for them 5 months she up and said she feels she has fallin for me real hard and isn't and wasn't trying to do that, but to just have fun which she stated she did. Our age differance was a issue for her and her family :(

    SUcked for me, I liked her a lot, she was smokin hot, and she was loaded. What more could a young man ask for?
     
    #7 bbblowme, Dec 9, 2008
    Last edited: Dec 9, 2008
  8. voyeuristic

    voyeuristic New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2008
    Messages:
    648
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    16
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Bay Area
    I am confused - you were 23 and she was 29. Doesn't seem like that drastic of a difference - what was the big issue?
     
  9. F_Man

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2006
    Messages:
    1,179
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    586
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Helsinki (FI)
    do you feel comfortable dating significantly older woman?

    (or: do you feel comfortable dating significantly younger men)

    What a funny question!

    If one dates significantly older women, one wouldn't do it if one felt uncomfortable. Unless one would really LIKE to feel uncomfortable, and isn't that a twisted thought :smile::biggrin1::smile:
     
  10. chocothunderh

    chocothunderh New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2007
    Messages:
    3
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Japan
    my wife and i are 6 years apart, she is the older half. I wasn't intimidated at all by her. I like a woman who knows what she wants. Not just sexually but out of life. It is not a bad thing for a women IMO because it gives one part of the relationship a solid foundation to build upon. Plus you don't have to deal with the stupid jealousy that a younger woman is going to have by in-experience.
     
  11. fran_grrl

    fran_grrl New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 9, 2008
    Messages:
    2
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    USA south
    I am a grandmother and love younger men. When i was very young I preferred much older men. So who can say?
     
  12. jawjagal

    jawjagal New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2008
    Messages:
    31
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    NE GA
    I was really hoping to see some response to this. I am 58 and prefer somewhat younger men. So far, I have managed to keep it above 45. Anything younger than 40 feels like I am dating my son's friends.
     
  13. trentster

    trentster New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2008
    Messages:
    465
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Basically the only thing that matters is if you two get along. I would not mind it at all, and I don't think other men would mind either. But I would think of the future more than anything. I would wonder what the basis of the relationship is. Sexual or actual connection. I would also wonder where it is going. What is the future of the relationship?
     
  14. Principessa

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2006
    Messages:
    19,494
    Likes Received:
    28
    Gender:
    Female
    I understand. I'm 42 and was leery of dating anyone under 35 until I met my 28 year old beau. Our age difference doesn't occupy my every thought, but it does occassionally come up. Like last month when I sent my 22 year old godson a birthday card. It is somewhat odd to be dating someone only a few years older than someone I used to diaper. :redface:
     
  15. BobLeeSwagger

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 11, 2003
    Messages:
    1,481
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    I don't know if I'm as young as you're asking about, being in my early 30s. I seem to have had more older women as sexual partners than most guys, and some have developed into long-term relationships. The love of my life is in her 40s and a grandmother. Somehow that didn't deter me. :cool:
     
  16. salinger

    salinger Member

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2004
    Messages:
    189
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    hollywood, ca
    I loved older women in college. They were so much more confident and fun in bed. Twenty years was hot then. Nowadays, as I push towards 30, any woman that much older isn't really in my sphere of influence. I think over 45, there's just something missing. The same is true for men, though even more so as I think shapely women are still beautiful but doughy men are not. Perhaps I'm more superficial than I realized.
     
  17. D_Petherick_Poundlouder

    Joined:
    Jun 10, 2006
    Messages:
    1,064
    Likes Received:
    0
    I've never done it.
    I'd love to - but never have been given the chance.
     
  18. voyeuristic

    voyeuristic New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2008
    Messages:
    648
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    16
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Bay Area
    I'd totally hit it Idris! What part of California are you in part-time?
     
  19. whatireallywant

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2007
    Messages:
    3,587
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Female
    That's interesting. I actually have always preferred younger men, but my longest term relationship was with someone 11.5 years OLDER than me... go figure...

    One guy came in to work selling children's books the other day and asked me if I had grandchildren that might want them! :eek: I didn't think I looked THAT old! You see, I had always looked far younger than my age. When I went through the drive-through at the bank (on the passenger side of the car) when I was in my late teens or early twenties the teller gave me a lollipop! :biggrin1: And even in my early thirties I was often mistaken for being in my late teens. However, I got seriously ill 5 years ago and nearly died, and that aged me a lot. Not fair! I still think I look younger than my age (I'm 45, yes I AM old enough to be a grandmother, I just don't like to think about that!), just not as much younger as I used to.

    I find myself often attracted to men in their early to mid twenties, more often than any other age group. However, I'm attracted to men of just about all ages (after they're adults and legal, that is!), except for the very old. (like my dad's age! :biggrin1:)

    I'm cool with dating younger men, if they're ok with dating me. I run into problems with my age ALL THE TIME though. The guys I want seem to only want women in their twenties. :frown1: And I don't have a biological clock, so that's not an issue with me. I've never had one. I mean, I have the anatomy and physiology with no problems or anything, just that since I've never wanted children, my biological clock simply doesn't exist.
     
  20. D_Petherick_Poundlouder

    Joined:
    Jun 10, 2006
    Messages:
    1,064
    Likes Received:
    0
    Berkeley.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted