Do you feel guilty after having a one night stand?

gagreflexless

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As of lately, i've been having alot more casual sex than I ever before thought I would. I used to think the idea of a one night stand was slutty and too informal, but certain circumstances have led me to have 5 in the past two weeks. WHEW. None of these guy except one I had contact with after the one night stand, either because he didn't want to or I didn't want to, and even the one I did keep in contact with I quickly blocked on facebook after realizing just how little we had in common and that I actually was repulsed by his personality. Now I'm feeling like "why, oh why did I do that!". Do other girls feel guilty after having one night stands? I almost feel like my conscience is eating away at me now because I know none of these guys were REALLY my type but I still had sex with them. Any easy way to deal with feelings of guilt? I know I don't feel sorry we didn't stay in contact, so I just want to convince myself it was okay really, I mean it was- right? :D :tongue:
 

Enid

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Nah, never feel guilty for following your libido! As long as everyone's happy, healthy, safe I see no probs at all with casual fun.

I had a handful of casual encounters myself, more in my 20s, and I did feel some guilt/hangups about it later on -- only 'cause I realized deep down that kind of situation doesn't really feel all that good to me. I like something a lil more one-on-one, long term (or long term for the time being) :smile:. But back then, I felt that guilt because I knew I wasn't being true to myself.

I don't think you should feel guilt for having fun though :biggrin1:
 

AlteredEgo

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I agree with Enid. Don't feel guilty. Guilt is a useless emotion that only causes people to compulsively repeat guilt-inducing behaviors. If it as fun, and you were safe, it's no big deal.

I have a question. When you say the guys were nit your type, what/how do you mean?
 

paigexox

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I have experienced some big comedowns after hookups, and one of the emotions associated with that return to baseline has been guilt. This has held especially true for me during those times when I felt as though I really needed the sex and had a very strong drive for it.

My way of combating the guilt was to be honest with myself. I was having sex with another person because I wanted sex. Soon thereafter, I realized that the social and personality variables that I was fretting over post-hookup were not significant, and the guilt subsided.

I must also add that I have had some fantastic hookups with some great people. Some of those people are still in contact with, or friends with me to this day. I say that because I do not want people to get the wrong impression and think that I am advocating total objectification of another human being for the sake of a fuck, but it is important to recognize the reason(s) why you are getting into one night stands. If you can be honest with yourself and accept those reasons, you probably will not feel guilty. If you cannot accept those reasons then maybe the one night stand thing is not a good fit for you, and there is no shame in that.
 
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Jillang

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I never had one and never plan on having one because I know it would drive me crazy in a lot of different ways.
 
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I didn't have a problem with hook-ups/one night stands when I used to be promiscuous. However at one point I realized it had become a problem. I was ditching socializing with friends so I could have more sex. In my case it became something of an addiction. I then went mostly celibate. Three years and only 3 partners. One of whom is someone I did BDSM play off and on over 2 years with. Another is now a fwb of mine (granted, a rather distant one). The third was someone from this site who I ah, helped with losing their virginity.

If you're having fun and taking the appropriate precautions to stay say (both as far as STD/STI and general physical well being.... no creepers :p ) there's nothing wrong with it, in my eyes.
 

D_Tillie_Twocones

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I've never felt guilty for having them. Though I've only had a small number. I just don't like them because I don't get much out of it. It takes longer than that to have a connection with someone (usually). Guilt is a useless emotion. You wanted to hook up and you did. There's no reason to feel guilty for giving into that. If you did it for another reason, then maybe guilt comes into play.
 

gagreflexless

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I agree with Enid. Don't feel guilty. Guilt is a useless emotion that only causes people to compulsively repeat guilt-inducing behaviors. If it as fun, and you were safe, it's no big deal.

I have a question. When you say the guys were nit your type, what/how do you mean?

When I say not my type I mean more personality wise than look wise because what I find attractive in a guy from just appearance varies SO much, I definitely did find the guys attractive- but if I were to lets say, have a relationship with or hook up with any of those 5 guys again, only 2/5 would fit the bill lookwise. If I were to include personality into that quota, it would maybe be one... maybe none at all. Most of the guys were the typical douches you find at a bar who were practically throwing themselves at me for sex, which fuck, I had no problem with because I was throwing myself right back! :tongue::tongue: Thanks to all the responses- I will definitely have an easier time getting over the guilt now, because it was just sex and I'm glad I'm not the only one who sees it that way :biggrin1:
 

Twistbarbie

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hmmm I suppose I've never had a true ONS. I don't find that many people attractive or sexually attractive to want to have sex with them after chatting to them at a bar or club, seems to me to be a bit grubby, if I say no they'll ask the woman sat next to me, classy :biggrin1: