Do you find an unattractive person talking about sex to be repulsive?

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950483

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Several months ago, I was planning to meet someone I used to chat with in the LPSG chatroom. We were going to meet for the first time at a Starbucks. We had exchanged photos beforehand via e-mail and I knew I would not be attracted to him. However, thought it might be fun to just meet and chat for about an hour. He became irate when I told him I just wanted to meet for coffee and had no interest in going to a hotel. He called me a picky middle aged chink (and also made references to watermelon and fried chicken with another LPSG member on another occasion). He was bald and had a beard, a look I am not attracted to. His unattractiveness gave me more of a visceral reaction than the racial comments which were directed at me.

On a side note, thanks for all the feedback everyone. I have gotten more responses than expected. It seems my feelings on the unattractive are not commonplace...
Why the hell were you considering meeting up with him? Or did he behave like a sane and reasonable person up to that point?
 
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950483

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At different points in my life I have felt differently about this. In my 20's I had a close friend who would over disclose to a ridiculous degree, and I often did feel a bit disgusted. What a relief it was when I figured out that if I wanted to end those conversations all I had to do was join in, and she would be twice as disgusted, really judgemental, and homophobic to boot. Lol.

Generally I quite like discussing sex in a matter of fact way. Nowadays I tend to be more objective about it somehow. To be able to have a conversation about sex I do not have to find the person attractive, and it's immaterial whether they are unattractive, *shrugs* pretty much the same as if the conversation was about anything else.

You are most definitely not the only person who feels this way, but why do you feel this way? Does your brain force you to imagine being involved in the sex acts they are talking about?, or do you just picture them doing the things?
 
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693987

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Oh, further thought. I'm perfectly okay with various family having happy and healthy sex/romance lives. I think it's great if they do. That being said, I just don't need or want to know details. Unfortunately my dad took it upon himself to enlighten me about some things he and my mother did, after she passed. As a concept, I don't care that they had threesomes. Did I need to know? Nah. Details of family member's sex lives kinda squick me out.
 
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deleted957600

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Why the hell were you considering meeting up with him? Or did he behave like a sane and reasonable person up to that point?

He was nice to me...However, that was 'before' I told him I'd meet for coffee and really didn't want to have sex afterwards. We used to chat, I was never really 'dying' to meet him and wanted to prove to him I was female. I'm glad I didn't meet him in person because had I let him know over coffee that I didn't care to be intimate with him, he may have created an ugly scene.
 
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deleted957600

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Oh, further thought. I'm perfectly okay with various family having happy and healthy sex/romance lives. I think it's great if they do. That being said, I just don't need or want to know details. Unfortunately my dad took it upon himself to enlighten me about some things he and my mother did, after she passed. As a concept, I don't care that they had threesomes. Did I need to know? Nah. Details of family member's sex lives kinda squick me out.

It seems there are 'variations' of being sexually grossed out by certain types of people...This is interesting to find out.
 

rtg

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Several months ago, I was planning to meet someone I used to chat with in the LPSG chatroom. We were going to meet for the first time at a Starbucks. We had exchanged photos beforehand via e-mail and I knew I would not be attracted to him. However, thought it might be fun to just meet and chat for about an hour. He became irate when I told him I just wanted to meet for coffee and had no interest in going to a hotel. He called me a picky middle aged chink (and also made references to watermelon and fried chicken with another LPSG member on another occasion). He was bald and had a beard, a look I am not attracted to. His unattractiveness gave me more of a visceral reaction than the racial comments which were directed at me.

On a side note, thanks for all the feedback everyone. I have gotten more responses than expected. It seems my feelings on the unattractive are not commonplace...
By how you framed your question originally, I think most ppl here thought you meant you were just asking about ppl in general...and not in the sense that you were referring to us as an individual having sex with someone we weren't attracted to.

So in regards to this second question.... yes, there are certainly ppl who I experience feelings of repulsion about when imagining having sex with them.
 
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deleted957600

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By how you framed your question originally, I think most ppl here thought you meant you were just asking about ppl in general...and not in the sense that you were referring to us as an individual having sex with someone we weren't attracted to.

So in regards to this second question.... yes, there are certainly ppl who I experience feelings of repulsion about when imagining having sex with them.

Yes, the original question was in reference to men I wasn't attracted to and how I felt repulsed by them in general when they talk about sex.

The LPSG chatroom incident was just an 'example' of how I felt when dealing with a man who I had no attraction to. I thought his beard and bald head were worse than his racist comments.
 
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TexanStar

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Yes, the original question was in reference to men I wasn't attracted to and how I felt repulsed by them in general when they talk about sex.

I think you'll need to clarify whether you mean them just talking about sex, or them talking about sex with you specifically.

It sounded like you were just talking about them having discussions about sex. It doesn't repulse me (as I noted earlier). I do roll my eyes at the penthouse forum style stories some people post, but I don't get grossed out by the conversations happening.
 
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deleted957600

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I think you'll need to clarify whether you mean them just talking about sex, or them talking about sex with you specifically.

It sounded like you were just talking about them having discussions about sex. It doesn't repulse me (as I noted earlier). I do roll my eyes at the penthouse forum style stories some people post, but I don't get grossed out by the conversations happening.

I am grossed out by both ugly men talking about by about sex and talking about sex with me specifically.
 

Haggard_Wisdom

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Oh, further thought. I'm perfectly okay with various family having happy and healthy sex/romance lives. I think it's great if they do. That being said, I just don't need or want to know details. Unfortunately my dad took it upon himself to enlighten me about some things he and my mother did, after she passed. As a concept, I don't care that they had threesomes. Did I need to know? Nah. Details of family member's sex lives kinda squick me out.

Yeah, same. I think I'd have a bad time of it if my parents started talking about their sex lives. Logically I know I'm here because my parents fucked but beyond that it's absolutely none of my business!
 
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deleted957600

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At different points in my life I have felt differently about this. In my 20's I had a close friend who would over disclose to a ridiculous degree, and I often did feel a bit disgusted. What a relief it was when I figured out that if I wanted to end those conversations all I had to do was join in, and she would be twice as disgusted, really judgemental, and homophobic to boot. Lol.

Generally I quite like discussing sex in a matter of fact way. Nowadays I tend to be more objective about it somehow. To be able to have a conversation about sex I do not have to find the person attractive, and it's immaterial whether they are unattractive, *shrugs* pretty much the same as if the conversation was about anything else.

You are most definitely not the only person who feels this way, but why do you feel this way? Does your brain force you to imagine being involved in the sex acts they are talking about?, or do you just picture them doing the things?

I just imagine them engaged in sexual acts...Which I would rather not be thinking about.
 

twoton

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Maybe I missed it: did you let him know before you met him that this wasn't a hook-up? Or was it something you told him after he got there?
 
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deleted957600

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Maybe I missed it: did you let him know before you met him that this wasn't a hook-up? Or was it something you told him after he got there?

I let him know beforehand that it wouldn't result in a hookup.
 
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deleted957600

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Maybe I missed it: did you let him know before you met him that this wasn't a hook-up? Or was it something you told him after he got there?

You will find more detailed information about this in post numbers 11 and 30.