Do you get revenge or move on?

[EllieP]

Our beautiful daughter was three years old and the parents were invited to a Thanksgiving program one evening. He tells me he has to interview a potential new hire. I'm so excited working on her costume I don't even think: who interviews at night and who hires two days before Thanksgiving. The pattern is repeated over the next few months sometimes twice a week.

Yes, he was cheating on me. I divorced him and received child support. I found out afterwards that all of our friends knew and thought that I knew too, which made me feel extra horrible because then they thought that I was so desperate that I was putting up with it.

He was actually seeing three other women and eventually married one about three years later. That's when the child support payments stopped. He moved out of state, I tried to get anybody and everybody involved, but nobody can do a thing.

I married Cap when Pris was 10 years old and he's her real Dad. Just ask her. The SOB owes me around $50K even though Pris is 20.

I try not to think about it, and I don't want revenge. What I want is what's owed me. Now Cap's another story. He's never met my ex, but I know he would probably do some real harm if he ever did.

Pris never, ever mentions his name, and that's probably my best revenge.

 

[invisibleman]

So, when you've been fucked over by a guy in the past... do you choose to get revenge or do the mature thing and move on with life?

Revenge: If the man/woman did you down and durty to the point of psychological, physical and mental abuse over time, silent untraceable revenge would be the best...but don't do revenge just yet...hang back and think...opportunities will present itself to you.

"Revenge is a dish best served cold."
--Khan from Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan​

Mature and move on: If the man/woman was honest with you that they didn't really want a serious relationship or want a relationship like you want it...then...you should be mature and move on.

 

[Principessa]

I do little stupid vindictive things because it makes me laugh. Last November, JCPENNEY was sending out a 4 am wake up call on Black Friday so shoppers wouldn't miss the event. So I signed up all the boys who'd hurt me and one ex-coworker who was a bitch.

:lmao: I LIKE that! :rofl:

 

[MercyfulFate]

Eh, I've been fucked over by two women, one I'm still with. I got over it, although it's a bit of an ego deflation.

 

[Rubenesque]

Oh Invis... there was absolutely NO honesty involved. I am genuinely starting to wonder if it's some sort of mental issue that he tells stupid lies.

For example, when we first met 5yrs ago he told me that he'd lost both parents to cancer. But, clearly having forgotten what he's told me before, mentioned that his mother died recently... and i mean within the last couple of months! That's an awful lie to tell. But he tells stupid little lies too, that make no sense and no difference so I wonder why he bothers! When we first met he sent me pictures of his 4 sisters... but I recently saw pics of his actual sisters on facebook and they bear NO resemblence whatsoever to the photos of the slim, gorgeous and glamorous women he showed me several years ago.

He declared his love for me, and it transpires he has a fiance. We arranged to meet up and he didn't show.. despite me travelling all the way to Yorkshire.

All in all I want the mother fucker to feel as bad as he's made me feel. But I'm holding off doing anything rash as I'm still not capable of being rational about the whole sorry, sordid debacle!

 

[dolfette]

i was suckered by a compulsive liar in my youth.
no way could it happen again but...well, you just don't expect people to lie about these things.
really, who makes up entire family histories, careers and potentially fatal illness?
and the more honest and trust worthy you are, the more likely you are to fall for it because it just won't occur to you that anyone would lie about things like this for absolutely no reason.
revenge?
i've long since had all anger replaced by pity for this pathetic man. there's no real malice...only a pathetic cowardice. the cowardice of a man who knows he has a problem but refuses to accept it, confront it and admit it. he would rather continue losing people who matter and becoming a laughing stock behind his back.

these people are nothing.

 

[invisibleman]

Oh Invis... there was absolutely NO honesty involved. I am genuinely starting to wonder if it's some sort of mental issue that he tells stupid lies.

Oh, boy.

For example, when we first met 5yrs ago he told me that he'd lost both parents to cancer. But, clearly having forgotten what he's told me before, mentioned that his mother died recently... and i mean within the last couple of months! That's an awful lie to tell.

Wow. But he tells stupid little lies too, that make no sense and no difference so I wonder why he bothers! When we first met he sent me pictures of his 4 sisters... but I recently saw pics of his actual sisters on facebook and they bear NO resemblence whatsoever to the photos of the slim, gorgeous and glamorous women he showed me several years ago.

Wow. I don't EVEN like FACEBOOK. Now fuggin' despise it.

He declared his love for me, and it transpires he has a fiance. We arranged to meet up and he didn't show.. despite me travelling all the way to Yorkshire.

Oops. That kinda happened to me.

All in all I want the mother fucker to feel as bad as he's made me feel. But I'm holding off doing anything rash as I'm still not capable of being rational about the whole sorry, sordid debacle!

Yeah...I would leave him alone for a while until I thought things through. Revenge would be definately be a cold dish. Hehehe.

 

[DiscoBoy]

I always find one reason or another to justify a person's hurtful actions, so I rarely, if ever, seek revenge. I'm just not vindictive.

 

[psidom]

revenge may soothe the sting of betrayal...but that is not enlightenment.

i usually turn to self love.
noone can love me like i can.:wink:

 

[D_Ivana Dickenside]

I do little stupid vindictive things because it makes me laugh.
Last November, JCPENNEY was sending out a 4 am wake up call on Black Friday so shoppers wouldn't miss the event. So I signed up all the boys who'd hurt me and one ex-coworker who was a bitch.

haha that's a good one! i should do that to all the people who annoy me lol :biggrin1:

 

[Sergeant_Torpedo]

Some nations, groups, families, individuals are more vindicrive than others. I think we know who they are. Hurt is bad, but wreaking diaster disproportionate to the slight is right out of the Old Testament.

 

[798686]

Not usually that bothered about it, unless someone's a repeat offender and need a wake up call. Otherwise prefer to forget it and move on.

 

[D_Maurice Mountlilly]

Aw NJ I am super sorry to hear about your troubles. My best to you.

I have to admit I've never been dicked over by someone who didn't deserve a little compassion & understanding for their actions (e.g. mental illness). Maybe that's why revenge never interested me much. If I was ever cheated on however, perhaps I would change my opinion about that. I don't know. When I was a lot younger I had a 4 (or 4-ish) year live-in relationship with a woman. She wanted it to be an open relationship at first (she wanted to date men in addition to me). I agreed because I was young and crazy in love with her. I thought how bad could it be. Well it ended up killing my interest in her because every time I'd step on a condom wrapper in our apartment, I'd die a little on the inside. She ended up changing her tune and wanting more commitment towards the end, but it was already too late for me.

I can't even BEGIN to imagine how it would feel if I discovered a partner had slept with another or others in secret. I'd probably be devastated.

WOW!!!

 

[D_Relentless Original]

I think i would just move on, whats the point, satisfaction is short lived and sometimes you don't always know if its happened.

I think the most dignified way is to walk away, head held up and move on, have respect for yourself, keep your dignity.

 

[Principessa]

Oh Invis... there was absolutely NO honesty involved. I am genuinely starting to wonder if it's some sort of mental issue that he tells stupid lies.

All in all I want the mother fucker to feel as bad as he's made me feel. But I'm holding off doing anything rash as I'm still not capable of being rational about the whole sorry, sordid debacle!

<---- Yup, same here. What she said. :yup:

 

[Serial Kisser]

haha that's a good one! i should do that to all the people who annoy me lol :biggrin1:

If I get the e-mail again this year, I'll let you know how to sign up =)

 

[3664shaken]

I would inflict pain if he game me a STD

Otherwise move on &#8211; men are like potato chips they make more and in better flavors than the last one.

 

[invisibleman]

Otherwise move on – men are like potato chips they make more and in better flavors than the last one.

I miss the Doritos Salsa Verde flavored tortilla chips. They don't make them anymore. :frown1:

 

[molotovmuffin]

I think i would just move on, whats the point, satisfaction is short lived and sometimes you don't always know if its happened.

I think the most dignified way is to walk away, head held up and move on, have respect for yourself, keep your dignity.

That is the best revenge.

My first ex, whom I haven't talked to or seen in over 24 yrs calls my mom from time to time just to find out about me. Her answers are always the same. "She happy and has a wonderful life." What better revenge is there than that?

 

[LeeEJ]

That is the best revenge.

My first ex, whom I haven't talked to or seen in over 24 yrs calls my mom from time to time just to find out about me. Her answers are always the same. "She happy and has a wonderful life." What better revenge is there than that?

Exactly. The thought that she's just fine without you -- that you're totally unnecessary for her to have a happy life -- is definitely good enough revenge.

Of course, there's the possibility that the ex is interested to hear that you're doing well, and is actually happy to hear when that's the case.