Do you guys normally assume?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Altairion, Feb 10, 2005.

  1. Altairion

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2005
    Messages:
    1,607
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Seattle, WA
    I've got a friend that I've known for a couple years who recently let me know that he had a boyfriend at random when I was talking to him online. In some ways, I had considered he might be gay, but I just didn't really think about it since the topic had never come up. Anyway, he told me that he mainly assumes that everyone just knows he's into guys. Since then, I've only talked to one other person about it, and this person also wouldn't have considered him to be gay. While my friend dresses well and all, he just seems a bit metrosexual and not much beyond it.

    While I know that everyone is different and it's impossible to flat out tell whether a person is gay, I thought I'd try to get a view from the other side of things.
     
  2. Pene_Negro_Grande

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2004
    Messages:
    1,100
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Right Next To You
    We just covered this topic on in this same section - but I don't mind discussing it again since at least you started a new topic...I personally don't think about it too much when I meet cool people...The thought might cross my mind when a guy I don't know comes up and starts talking to me - but 9 times out of 10 - they are not gay...I really hang out in a very metrosexual environment all the time - I mean only hang out in those type of clubs and bars so it makes it kind of hard to tell...But thinking about it - I have maybe one openly gay really good guy friend...The rest of the fellas I hang out w/are very metrosexual...But like I was said - I just like cool people...All I can say is your friend must consider you a good friend to tell you that...I had another good friend who I haven't seen in some years who came out and told me he was into guys - at first it was weird because this guy and I were really tight in high school and after I was holding his baby son at the time and his girl friend knew too...Funny thing is I had another child hood friend who for some reason really started to hate me and I had no idea until my friend kind of came out to me - it seems like they were fooling around w/each other and the childhood friend was jealous that my friend and I use to hang out all the time...Crazy thing is I had no idea - there were time when all 3 of us would go out and hang out and I had no idea...Both of these guys seemed to always have girl friends...The child hood friend actually started a fight w/me one night when my other friend was dropping me off home...Weird how everything now makes sense...I just wish my friend felt comfortable enough to tell me early - I mean it took him 4yrs after that incident for him to even tell me...
     
  3. Altairion

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2005
    Messages:
    1,607
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Seattle, WA
    Sorry if I wasn't as clear as I should have been on the question. I know there have been topics covering whether or you can tell if someone else is gay. What I was trying to get across is the question for those that are gay, if they assume that others know their orientation without needing to be told.
     
  4. txquis

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2003
    Messages:
    1,831
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Actually, i'm always surprised when someone guesses that i am, before i tell them.
     
  5. B_DoubleMeatWhopper

    B_DoubleMeatWhopper New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2002
    Messages:
    5,402
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Louisiana
    People don'tassume that I'm gay. Even while I was dancing next to naked in gay bars, there was an insidious rumour that I was straight. So much for gaydar. :glare:
     
  6. headbang8

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2004
    Messages:
    1,272
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    8
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Munich (BY, DE)
    My answer, from personal experience, is NO. Everyone thinks I'm straight. When I tell them, many think I'm joking. I'm not thin, I'm not neat, I dress like my father, I don't lisp, I can't dance, I'm into power tools and carpentry, and bring a hard-science bent to my soft-science job. I practically have to hit people over the head with my handbag to make them believe it.

    hb8
     
  7. B_RoysToy

    B_RoysToy New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2003
    Messages:
    7,558
    Likes Received:
    64
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    memphis, tennessee
    No, and for years I couldn't convince my ex that I was. I suspose this is the reason I've gone through life living as a str8 and being screwed up emotionally. It ain't easy being something you're not.
     
  8. Kimahri

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2005
    Messages:
    1,291
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Baltimore, MD
    I'm not believed when I tell people I'm gay. It went over like a lead ballon with my friends in that it simply couldn't be possible. For all that I did and was, being gay was not something any of them considered.

    Which I don't know how. The trip to the strip club should have been a clear indicator.
     
  9. Imported

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2000
    Messages:
    56,713
    Likes Received:
    55
    carolinacurious: I started assuming people knew a few years ago because I thought word had gotten around, it turns out that I was largely incorrect. I've had some surprises, people who I had not been particularly open with saying they had almost always known and people who I had been very open with being shocked when I told them and my feeling it was just a formality.

    It's frustrating, I like the way that I am, it's just that most (but not all) people think I'm straight particularly other gay people, even when I'm in a gay bar(!).
     
  10. Altairion

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2005
    Messages:
    1,607
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Seattle, WA
    Calling it a formality sounds like a good way of putting it when you consider friends that you have known for a long time. I think my friend considered it just to be that. After I found out, the next day seemed just like any other.
     
  11. Shelby

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 17, 2004
    Messages:
    2,159
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    in the internet
    :lol: you're killing me!
     
  12. lapdog2001

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2004
    Messages:
    2,358
    Albums:
    5
    Likes Received:
    2,915
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Massachusetts (US)
    :lol: you're killing me!
    [post=282027]Quoted post[/post]​
    [/b][/quote]

    Shelby,

    You beat me to the exact same response!

    Good one, hb8! :lol:

    LapDog :p

    I've been mistaken for being Jewish once (I'm not),
    and was called ma'am once (I'm not a woman, I had longer hair),
    but I don't think anyone has thought of me being gay (I'm not.)
     
  13. headbang8

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2004
    Messages:
    1,272
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    8
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Munich (BY, DE)
    :lol: you're killing me!
    [post=282027]Quoted post[/post]​
    [/b][/quote]Killing you? I didn't think my handbag was THAT heavy. (even with the power tools inside)

    hb8
     
Draft saved Draft deleted