Do you have sex on the first date?

[Honey123]

Last night I had a date and he was nice, really nice. I liked him and think I could go long term with him. We had dinner and saw a movie and talked by the car afterward. We kissed a bit and he invited me back to his place. I said I'd better not do that tonight and was feeling a bit bad for kissing on the first date. He teased me about being bad then kissed me some more.

I kept thinking.... I don't know what the norm is anymore for sex and dating. It used to be that a girl didn't even kiss a guy until the 3rd date. Now Hollywood makes it look like if they kiss they wake up together in bed the next morning. Real life isn't like that, but how is it?

How long do you date someone before you sleep with them?

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

I think waiting a bit longer would be nice, mainly because it will get the build up of sexual tension to the max. I didn't have sex with my husband until like the 3 or 4th date. Well i'd say we didnt "try" to have sex until then, when it finally was able to go in it was probably the 5th date.

 

[thaigirlforyou]

usually i wait for the third or fourth date to sleep with a guy but lately i have been unbelievable horny (thanks to college stress, graduation stress and stressing for a job...) and so i tend to have sex on the first date if we click

 

[goodwood]

For my part, I see nothing wrong with having sex after the first date. In fact if I like the girl, I am all for it. Why wait?

 

[B_josh762]

It really depends on how we hit it off. I have had sex on the first date but I actually like to wait till the second or third date. I prefer to get to know the person a little. You never know what you will find out after the other person gets comfortable with you.

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

Plus you don't want a stage 3 clinger because you led them on with sex on the first date.

 

[D_Fiona_Farvel]

I do not have a policy, it totally depends on the person and my mood.
One guy waited through 3 years of dating before we fucked, with a few it was so freakin' hot, that we had sex the same night... a couple didn't even have to make it to a date. :shrug: I go with the flow.

 

[Qua]

^that's my take on it. Really just kinda happens, and I'm ok with it. And MR is right...gaining a needly stalker is one risk that is NOT fun.

 

[SandraSmithCarver]

Last night I had a date and he was nice, really nice. I liked him and think I could go long term with him. We had dinner and saw a movie and talked by the car afterward. We kissed a bit and he invited me back to his place. I said I'd better not do that tonight and was feeling a bit bad for kissing on the first date. He teased me about being bad then kissed me some more.

I kept thinking.... I don't know what the norm is anymore for sex and dating. It used to be that a girl didn't even kiss a guy until the 3rd date. Now Hollywood makes it look like if they kiss they wake up together in bed the next morning. Real life isn't like that, but how is it?

How long do you date someone before you sleep with them?

At least the 3rd date, or longer if you feel the need, the guy that wrote the book "hes not that in to you" said wait 3 mos, whats wrong with a party in the pants? if you want it to be something real, wait as long as you can, the longer you wait the better

 

[azda]

A friend of mine in college, later my roommate, was drunk at a party and met a cute drunk girl. He took her home and she spent the night, probably without even having so much as a semi-coherent conversation. They've been married for 9 years now. So it's not true that lasting relationships can't start with sex.

I think that if a guy is good for you and not only interested in sex, even if you have sex on the first date there's no reason it can't work. And if he's primarily just after the booty and not really serious then holding off won't change that. A lot of the idea that a woman has to make a man wait is a holdover from when a woman depended on a man for her living and the courtship process was different. Things are different now. And if there's nothing wrong with a one-night stand (and there isn't, as long as you're both responsible), what's wrong with acting on mutual desire and having a good time?

On the other hand, it really depends on how you personally handle these things, Honey. If you will be hurt emotionally if you sleep with him and then it ends and you feel he was just after your body, then you should be more reticent. It depends on whether that situation would hurt you a lot or whether you're the type that would just brush it off, figure you got as good as you gave and move on without much more than an "oh well." You have needs too, and if you have sex on the first date and the second goes horribly and it ends, at least you got laid. :biggrin1:

I say go for it if you want him. He's a lucky guy. If he has any brains he'll stick around for more. And if not, it's his loss.

 

[D_Pubert Stabbingpain]

A friend of mine in college, later my roommate, was drunk at a party and met a cute drunk girl. He took her home and she spent the night, probably without even having so much as a semi-coherent conversation. They've been married for 9 years now. So it's not true that lasting relationships can't start with sex.

Curious to know if they are both still drunk

Seriously though, it depends on many things.

 

[Not_Punny]

Whether a relationship lasts has NOTHING to do with whether or not you have sex on the first date.

Whether or not a relationship lasts has more to do with compatability, overall outlook and conviviality of the mating pair.

- - - - -

Edit: I'm in an LTR, so I don't have "dates" -- but every few weeks, my s/o and I meet up with someone for potential, extraterrestrial sex. Whether or not the sex happens depends on chemistry. So I date a lot... without ever having a date, if you know what I mean.

 

[D_Ivana Dickenside]

sometimes there doesn't have to be a date but if i really like the person i'll usually wait until i feel comfortable.

 

[B_Think_Kink]

Sure do, cause it's the first and last they will ever have with me.

 

[whatireallywant]

Depends on the guy I'm with, but with a libido like mine, and my frequent extended dry spells, I'm inclined to have sex as often as I can, first date or otherwise, because it's the last sex I might have for several months if not years!

 

[Honey123]

Thanks for your thoughts. Sometimes I just feel so clueless, like I don't even know if I am giving mixed signals or not. I so love to make a man hard and yet I don't want to lead him on if I'm not going to sleep with him either.

I think there's also the added sexual tension where it's been so long since I actually had sex with anyone - only once guy in 5 years (and it wasn't enough for me). I don't want just a one night stand, I want someone that cares about me deeply.

 

[Not_Punny]

Wow -- that's a dilemma for sure.

If I were you, I'd take the sex (making sure it's safe and all that)... and don't have "expectations" that every person you sleep with could be "the One". Eventually -- hopefully sooner than later -- one of them will be a winner.

I see no reason to "wait" for sex. :wink:

And besides, that way, you'll know what someone is like in bed BEFORE you fall in love.

That could be useful!

 

[TinyPrincess]

How long do you date someone before you sleep with them?

I do not have a policy, it totally depends on the person and my mood.
with a few it was so freakin' hot, that we had sex the same night... a couple didn't even have to make it to a date. :shrug: I go with the flow.

I'll second that - couldn't agree more...

 

[tiggerpoo]

I do not have a policy, it totally depends on the person and my mood.
One guy waited through 3 years of dating before we fucked, with a few it was so freakin' hot, that we had sex the same night... a couple didn't even have to make it to a date. :shrug: I go with the flow.

That about sums it up for me.

To quote an old song:
Some girls will. :smile:
Some girls won't. :frown1:
Some girls need a lota lovin'.:wink:
Some girls don't.

 

[ZOS23xy]

Whether a relationship lasts has NOTHING to do with whether or not you have sex on the first date.

Whether or not a relationship lasts has more to do with compatability, overall outlook and conviviality of the mating pair.

- - - - -

Edit: I'm in an LTR, so I don't have "dates" -- but every few weeks, my s/o and I meet up with someone for potential, extraterrestrial sex. Whether or not the sex happens depends on chemistry. So I date a lot... without ever having a date, if you know what I mean.

I understand. My wife and I did that a lot, but not for the past several years.

And I had sex a lot on a number of first dates. Usually it was the other person prodding me. I guess not hanging out in the church circles helps.