Do you judge people based on who they date?

danjs584

Loved Member
Verified
Gold
Cammer
Joined
Sep 26, 2007
Posts
577
Media
16
Likes
507
Points
413
Age
39
Location
Fort Lauderdale, FL, USA
Verification
View
Sexuality
99% Gay, 1% Straight
Gender
Male
I try not to judge people based on who they date. If the person is nice, caring, and treats my friend well, then it doesn't matter to me what the partner looks like, does for work, or how intelligent he/she is. I may think my friend can do better but I keep that to myself. What I can't stand is a friend who dates someone who constantly talks behind his back, cheats on him, and manipulates him. I have a friend who I like everything about him except that I don't get why he won't dump his boyfriend who has cheated repeatedly, has been caught in numerous lies, and totally lacks loyalty. It also makes me wonder if I'm not seeing something negative about my friend that would make him okay with all he puts up with.
 
5

589189

Guest
What i know about myself is my capacity to judge others and harbor ill feelings towards others as a result. I have come to the conclusion that I am not alone in this regard and its pretty much a human attribute. My aspiration is to keep these capabilities to absolute minimum. Yes i can judge other people about anything i want to, so my friends are not safe from this. All i can do is keep it to its minimum as i have said.
 

yhtang

Superior Member
Joined
Apr 10, 2006
Posts
2,434
Media
32
Likes
3,153
Points
343
Location
Malaysia
Sexuality
No Response
Gender
Male
I am a believer in the phrase "You are the company you keep." Yes, I judge a person by the people they date, and the company they keep. And yes, I am also mindful of the company I keep.
 

_Jonesy

Experimental Member
Joined
Aug 11, 2009
Posts
548
Media
0
Likes
5
Points
103
Sexuality
80% Straight, 20% Gay
Gender
Male
I don't pity them, but here are 2 examples.

I have a friend who I was kind of seeing for 2 weeks earlier in September. She called it off, and about 4 weeks later I find out she is seeing her ex who I know truly hurt her. I have been in this situation before and fully understand but I just wish she had the strength to get out before she is hurt again.

Then there are people who I see go for the wrong type of guy. I kind of do pity these people as they wonder why they get hurt, and it seems a bit... well... stupid. I know they will not be happy until they mature and find someone to settle with, but that is their choice.
 

danjs584

Loved Member
Verified
Gold
Cammer
Joined
Sep 26, 2007
Posts
577
Media
16
Likes
507
Points
413
Age
39
Location
Fort Lauderdale, FL, USA
Verification
View
Sexuality
99% Gay, 1% Straight
Gender
Male
Yeah, I guess we are the company we keep and I need different company...I've been told recently that I think I'm better than everyone else and a snob....I don't think I'm "better" than anyone but I do hold myself to a moral standard of treating people with respect and being honest with people. I think I've held out hope with some people for too long that if I stay with them and maintain loyalty but try to instill some sense of honesty and integrity that eventually it will rub off. I think I'm learning now that I need to find people who display those values from the start.
 

jjsjr

Legendary Member
Joined
May 27, 2008
Posts
5,934
Media
37
Likes
2,280
Points
333
Location
Wilmington (Delaware, United States)
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
My ex decided to treat his body as if he was an amateur bodybuilder.
He decided to do this about a year into our relationship... (we were together 6 years)
People would often say things like: "Oh, how did you score that one?"
People thought I was just being slutty. It was difficult to convince those in disagreement that he was lanky when we met. Now that we're broken up, people see now that he is more of a meat-head and I'm more like a saint in comparison.

Yes, he is attractive and has a great physique... however I was the one getting judged since evidently his appearance meant he was the smart/funny/mature one and I was just along for the ride. Therefore, I love proving people to be wrong.
 
Last edited:
4

424365

Guest
Nope I judge people based on the stupidity or lack there of that comes spilling from their mouths.