Do you know any homosexuals that have been in a long term relationship?

Fredro

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I know 4 different couples who have been together for over 20 years. One couple that's been together for over 30. Several over 10 years. I know of a lot of gay couples under 10 years and they are pretty happy. It wouldn't surprise me if they made it to 20+ years.

I think they are doing pretty good. I haven't seen that many straight couples as committed as some of the gay couples I know.
 

LuvMensCocks

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14 and a half years here. Married last October. Love of my life, I don't believe in "Soul Mates" but this is as good as it gets. I love waking up next to him every morning. I am the luckiest guy on the planet.
 

eastbaydude

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My ex-wife and I had a gay couple at our wedding over 18 years ago. We're divorced and I've been through a couple of other short term relationships. The gay couple?? still together.

I'm not sure what that means, but it sounds like I'm a fuck up.
 

HotBulge

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WE should probably ease up on GALAXUS and his OP. He does bring up a good point about media images. If you grow up in middle America (I'm originally from Ohio myself), you don't really see gay couples.

The media isn't much better, and frankly, the gays that are depicted - Elton John, Ellen, Rosie O'Donnell - are too often caricatured and are not taken seriously. They are simply slotted into the "celebrities who happen to be gay" category and are mentally marginalized. In the absence of one well-identified gay couple, the OP can't be blamed for asking a slighty naieve question.


I didn't know of any gay couples until well after I graduated from college. The only clue that I had of gay couples were two men who lived in a house together down the street. Luckily, my mother explained that the two men were probably living together as "man and wife" - I was ~ 12 at the time - but she never applied any negative judgment and had them over once... I guess as the only Black family on the street, who were we to discriminate against the only gay couple on the street :rolleyes:.

Galaxus is 20 years old now. I recommend that if he has any gay/lesbian friends, he should track them over time. He'll probably discover that they will form relationships ... Seven years from now, when his friends are ready to marry, perhaps several more states besides MA, CT, ME, IA ([possibly NY, NJ) will allow for same sex marriage....


P.S. I just looked up stats on the top 10 highest concentrations of gays/lesbians based on census data.

The top areas neighboods in Boston and Provincetown MA, Chelsea in New York City, certain neighborhoods in San Francisco, West Hollywood in Los Angeles, and the Ft.Lauderdale/Miami area... Outside of these areas and liberal college environments, gay couples are probably not as visible...
 
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FuzzyKen

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As one half of a gay couple I am not offended by the question. One of the problems we have is that people have been given "disinformation" for so long that it totally masks or covers the facts.

First off, my life-partner and I are in for the long haul and have been together for over 10 years.

I can count more than a dozen other couples that we know who have had relationships so far lasting over 20 years, about five couples over 30 years and two couples together for over 40 years.

There are several reasons my young friend that you don't see a great number of gay couples or hear much about the long term relationships. If you become a "couple" and it "works" really well you tend to pull back from the more public locations or events. You're not out on the prowl any more, you tend to spend most of your time with other couples in more private settings because you have found what you wanted.

I lived for some time near Palm Springs in California which was for a time a "gay mecca". After we committed to each other, living in an ocean of gay men became more of a problem than an asset.

I became very disenchanted with many members of the gay community. This is common. After we committed the word was out. Men who I had tried to attract when I was single that would not give me the time of day suddenly wanted me in their beds. After we got together I had twenty times the offers that I had when I was single. My other half was at the time we met a New Mexico Cowboy. He was not even known in Palm Springs, but again the rumor mill took care of that. Men who were centerfold material all now seemed interested.

I now live in a small town in Southwestern New Mexico. I see other gay people and gay couples all the time. The fact is that once you've been with someone you really and truly love, the bars, pride events, and other things become less attractive. You don't give it up really, it just evolves. There are gay car clubs with many couples. There are gay dinner groups where people who have hobbies in culinary arts trade off and a great deal of those activities are couples based.

There is an old sign of a truly long term and successful gay marriage. You start to make love while lying in bed with the Food Channel on the TV in the background. All of a sudden the romantic efforts pause and the following statement comes out: "Stop, Quick! Get something to write with! He's making Veal Scallopini!"

Sex does not really stop, it just gets shifted into a level of importance that is different. You become confident enough in your love to just be able to lie in bed, cuddle and watch a movie.

Last winter, we had some threats of snow, and we sat drinking hot cocoa in front of a crackling fireplace and cuddling on the couch with each other.

When the picket fence appears, many other markers vanish. This is why you are not seeing things. It is all around you, it just doesn't remain as obvious as it once was.
 

lowhangers9

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13 years here and going... But it didn't happen till I was in my mid-thirties. Before than most guys are pretty fickled.
 

B_Nick8

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Even if I were offended by the question--which I'm not--I'd still rather educate than alienate.

Two couples who are close friends of mine have been together for 16 and 23 years respectively. Personally, I can't seem to break 7, which I've done twice.

I'm working on the next one now at 5. :wink:
 

houtx48

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i know few couples that have had long term, one of the longest is a couple of elderly gentlemen that have been together more than 50 years.
 

catman

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I didn't want to offend anyone.

I just don't see many commited gay couples on TV or in real life.

Its somthing i just dont see.

i wanted to know which is more common or uncommon.

you also don't see any asians, non 'steriotypical' (sp?) african americans, women in power who are NOT 'bitches', or native americans- do they not exist also then (by your 'logic')

A lot exist that you don't 'see' on television...


as to your question- one of my favorite folks is a gay couple- together 28 years (and sober 1 month longer...do the math :))

my sons call them 'Uncle Greg and Auntie Roberta' (robert is a 'classic' librarian, fussy, funny and has 2 sons my sons ages), Robert is half-blind, and has a baritone that is startling to say the least..
they are also in an open relationship but once a week is 'date night' and they have (I am told) still- some toe curling sex.

(for the record Robert and I are 'fuckbuds' from many many years ago...
 

pablo59

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:bs2: Of course I do! :irked: I'm a bit insulted by your question to be perfectly honest; and I'm not even gay. :angryfire2: Not all gay men are lisping, man whores. :mad: :aargh4:

One of my very best friends on the planet is a gay man. His lover, husband, and best friend died on March 18, 2008. They had just celebrated their 20th anniversary together in October 2007. He was devastated when Len died and still has some issues with grief and depression.:frown1:

This is what TRUE LOVE looks like. :heart:

I am sorry to read of the loss of your friend.
I'm glad he has a friend like you.:smile:

14 and a half years here. Married last October. Love of my life, I don't believe in "Soul Mates" but this is as good as it gets. I love waking up next to him every morning. I am the luckiest guy on the planet.

Yes, you are. It's my dream.

My ex-wife and I had a gay couple at our wedding over 18 years ago. We're divorced and I've been through a couple of other short term relationships. The gay couple?? still together.
I'm not sure what that means, but it sounds like I'm a fuck up.

Not at all, you should have tried guys:biggrin1:

Seriously, this is like comparing chalk and cheese.
A lasting relationship in my mind depends on the feelings and mutual respect of the two people involved, regardless of respective genders.

My parents just celebrated their golden (50th) wedding anniversary last weekend.
I am sure there are many gay relationships that have lasted as long. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

However, a huge effect on a gay relationship can be from the outside, (neighbours, family etc) where dark ages thinking which still exists in the 21st century can impose stress on a gay/lesbian couple that would not be imposed on a straight couple.
 

behrstar

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My man and I have been together 13 years...married for 8 this October. He is my second husband and I am his first. My first marriage (I was quite young) didn't work out...we grew apart. However, we are still friends.

I adore him, am lucky to be with him, trust him with my life and my heart, and know he feels the same way about me.

That he is a 6'7" hairy, hung man-beast is just icing on the cake :biggrin1:
 

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Please, people, get over yourselves. I'm gay and I'm not offended at all. The poor guy had a simple question and wanted to double-check his perception. Nobody should be offended by that.

And also... you have to admit that long lasting committed relationships are less common among gay males. Not all gay males are whores, but I believe that if you take women out of the equation, commitment is less likely to happen. (I only said "less", not "not").

And I also believe the opposite to be true: with two females (lesbians), commitment is more likely to happen.
 

LuvMensCocks

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13 years here and going... But it didn't happen till I was in my mid-thirties. Before than most guys are pretty fickled.

Him and I got together when we were pretty young. He was 17 and I was 21. Yeah I know, Before all you people call me a craddle robber and jump up and say it was illegal. He pursued me. By the time you are 17 you can pretty much make up your own mind as to what you want.
 

Steve26

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To be fair to the original poster, he is 20 and lives in Flint, Michigan. When I was 20 and living in a Rust Belt city not unlike Flint, I certainly didn't know any committed gay couples. And I even had a gay roommate that year, so it's not as if homosexuality was foreign to me.

While great progress has been made, I think it's easy for people in places like Boston, New York, Miami, or San Francisco to lose sight of how "exotic" gay relationships continue to be in much of this country. Many Americans' perceptions of gays are still based on old footage of drag queen parades in urban enclaves like those mentioned above.

I see both sides of this divide in my daily life. I work in the Boston area, so I personally know at least a half-dozen married gay couples. But my weekly bowling league in New Hampshire shares our alley with a (fairly campy and flamboyant) LGBT league ... and let's just say there is plenty of snickering on our side of the alley. Believe me, you get even 40 miles outside Boston and the attitude toward gays is still pretty retrograde.

Steve

P.S. The college roommate I mentioned is now in a gay relationship of at least 5 years.
 
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galaxus

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thanks to HotBulge and everyone who posted.

Please, people, get over yourselves. I'm gay and I'm not offended at all. The poor guy had a simple question and wanted to double-check his perception. Nobody should be offended by that.

And also... you have to admit that long lasting committed relationships are less common among gay males. Not all gay males are whores, but I believe that if you take women out of the equation, commitment is less likely to happen. (I only said "less", not "not").

And I also believe the opposite to be true: with two females (lesbians), commitment is more likely to happen.

I was thinking exactly what ReadHead8 was saying. Men are more afraid of commitment. At least thats what I think. Once a relationship goes sour, I just leave it in the dust.