Do you know of any long term gay relationships?

dalibor

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I'm in a gay relationship that has lasted 27 years (counting from when we met). We have friends that have been together 29 years. There are lots of long term gay relationships. Once thing that's key to any long term relationship in my opinion (and this is difficult for young men to understand), is that a love relationship is not principally about sex.
 

sdbg

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I admire guys who can make a relationship last. I met a guy my age (50s) recently and we are getting to know each other. He's been with his partner for 22 years. His partner is becomming a couch potato and never wants to do anything. It will be interesting to see what will happen. I like the guy as a friend. I never mess with people who are committed. If he breaks up with his partner and moves to this area, I could see the potential for us to be more than friends.

I had one relationship worth mentioning that lasted for 6 years. I would have stayed with him for the long haul, but he swore that he was straight and eventually got married. We're still friends, and I get along with his wife famously. Of course, my friend never told her that we used to be lovers. I chuckle to myself when I think to myself "I've had more of him than you have!"
 

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Our years together certainly do not add up to the decades of some of the responders, however this past winter we passed our 13th year together. Its great to laud the diversity which relationships can take.

I met my partner while he was selling computers in a huge store, between degrees, and I bought one from him. As he said I got the home service plan. And over the next months we dated and eventually moved in together. There is quite an age difference of 11 years but it does not seem to have made much of a difference. He was 23 and I was 34 when we met. He had never had any sexual experience....I had had a long term relationship with a wonderful man which had ended a few years before at my partner's desire. (we are all good friends now)

Being Canadian we could marry, but have no plans to. I strongly feel that I do deserve the right to marry (or do anything else) on an equal basis with straight people, and am proud of Canada being a progressive country on so many fronts. My partner and I both however felt that we would not have married if we had been straight, and that under the common law of Canada we are treated in every respect as a married couple anyway, from filing taxes together to the freedom to adopt.

As I mentioned my partner was inexperienced when we met, and after several years when teh opportunity for a threesome developed with another guy we discussed it and decided to pursue it. We have had some very pleasant ongoing and safe meetings with a few other guys over the years, and all have been pleasant and rewardking.

My partner has been away for much of 7 years of the time together doing graduate work in three different cities. They ahve been great places to live and for me to visit, and the distance has allowed us to maintain aspects of our independance...and yet to really look forward to our time together and make good use of it.

We do occasionally meet other guys, but our policy from the beginning was that we disucssed it, and always told each other everything. For us...the honest and respect has really worked well. Neither of us have ever felt jealous. I strongly feel that this is because we had a very good base to our relationship of many years before we ever met another guy on our own...and that since we are totally honest with each other we have never had to wonder what our partner MIGHT be doing!!!

We think of our relationship as "inclusive", rather than "open".

At the same time I stress that this is the relatinoship which has gradually developed over time. I advocate it for nobody else...but it has certainly worked well for us.

We have also startled a few of our friends, in that we regularl have talked about what we woudl do if we ever stopped living together in the way of property division and so forth. In our opinion, because we have not simply taken for granted that all would continue as it always has, it means we appreciate each other all the more. We believe we are even more likely to stay together....because we accept that there is always the possiblity that we might part.

The abililty to talk and communicate about EVERY aspect of a relatinoship for us is what makes it work. Companionship as mentioned before, shared property, similar goals and values are all more important than sex. Sex is wonderful and important. But there are obviously many facets to a relationship.
 

dervin

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Most of the gay and lesbian couples I know (through work and in my personal life) have been together for a long time. In some cases decades.

An interesting aspect about gay male relationships, I've found, is that a large percentage of them survive after the "official" relationship is over.

Case in point...the only relationship I've ever had lasted seven years. We broke up thirteen years ago. Paul (my ex) and I are still the best of friends. Heck...I'm living in an apartment in the basement of his house.

I know this isn't unusual because I have plenty of gay male friends who are still friendly with their exes.

On the other hand...when it comes to my heterosexual and lesbian friends...the opposite is true. NONE of the ones whose relationships have broken up have remained friends with their exes. In fact...most of these couples are bitter enemies now.