Do you ladies ever ask guys out?

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by modestlyhung, Oct 5, 2009.

  1. modestlyhung

    modestlyhung New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2008
    Messages:
    46
    Likes Received:
    1
    Just as it says above, do you ladies ever ask out men you're interested in? If no, why?

    I ask because I recently asked out a girl and she told me she had a boyfriend. That's fine. Can't win them all. But I was surprised at how upset I was after. I wasn't crying or anything like that but I found my hands shaking (which I was trying to hide) and it bothered me for the rest of the day.

    I thought you women should know how monumentally terrifying it can be for men to ask you out. I have far more confidence in doing it them most guys I know (only because I've done it many times before, the first time is the worst). But even still, it's difficult.

    Feel free to comment
     
  2. D_Fiona_Farvel

    D_Fiona_Farvel Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2007
    Messages:
    3,790
    Likes Received:
    17
    Yes. I'm not shy and have no issues asking a man out or for whatever else I may want from him. ;)

    If being the aggressor makes you nervous, leave the old-fashioned chicks behind and upgrade to women who know what they want and aren't afraid to go after it... we're out there.
     
  3. rob_just_rob

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2005
    Messages:
    6,037
    Likes Received:
    9
    Location:
    Nowhere near you
    Practice makes perfect. Do anything stressful a lot - interviewing for a job, public speaking, asking women out - and it ceases to be stressful.

    On topic - nearly all my good relationships were ones where I was asked out, or "chosen" by the woman. So I am all in favour of being the askee as opposed to the asker.
     
  4. B_Dustydo

    B_Dustydo New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2009
    Messages:
    318
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Female
    Nope.
    Call me an old fashioned girl but I don't chase men.
    Period.
     
  5. EllieP

    Staff Member Moderator Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2009
    Messages:
    7,875
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    3,792
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Florida
    Well, not a fair question for me to answer since I'm married. But when I was single it never bothered me to ask a guy out if I was interested.
     
  6. HazelGod

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2006
    Messages:
    7,531
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    9
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    The Other Side of the Pillow
    That's my experience as well. I've never been inclined to waste my efforts anyplace they wouldn't be appreciated.

    Besides...heavenly bodies are drawn to the Sun, not the other way 'round. :wink:.
     
  7. MissPretty

    MissPretty New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2009
    Messages:
    390
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    North Carolina
    No...in the past I would ask guys out if I wanted to see them. No big deal...i'm not shy at all but most of them time it was the guys that asked. I asked my current boyfriend out ( although we had known each other for a while ). Almost three years later...i'm glad I asked. You never know.
     
  8. B_625girth

    B_625girth New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2007
    Messages:
    2,372
    Likes Received:
    13
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    midwest
    when I was single I was asked out a time or two by women.
     
  9. CockinPussyLover

    CockinPussyLover New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2009
    Messages:
    40
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    midwest
    Yep, I ask guys out all the time.
     
  10. dolfette

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2006
    Messages:
    11,901
    Likes Received:
    26
    i'm just not interested enough to make the first move.
    i might find a guy interesting enough after a few dates,
    but by then we're already dating, obviously.
     
  11. D_Hyacinth Harrytwat

    D_Hyacinth Harrytwat Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2008
    Messages:
    908
    Likes Received:
    0
    It doesn't bother me one bit, knowing how many times a guy can get burned in his life by asking a woman out.
     
  12. Sassy

    Sassy Member

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2009
    Messages:
    369
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    USA
    I'm not shy. If I really like someone I'll ask them. So far, the guys I've been interested in have asked me out first.

    Yes, I'll make the first moves when I'm in an amorous mood, too. :wink:
     
  13. Aplus

    Aplus New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2005
    Messages:
    554
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Ohio
    Well I can certainly understand your reaction afterwards. Your never quite gonna know, how your gonna react after it. Now them having a boyfriend usually softens the blow for me, since it seems like less of a rejection to me.

    Unless your an extremely confident or cocky person, or simply looking to get laid at all costs, I think most men especially will have some uncomfortable moments before or after it.

    It's interesting that I've had two women ask me out in my life, and both did it through another person. I used to think women didn't get nervous or somehow feel uncomfortable asking guys out, but now I'm not so sure. Unfortunately I never asked the two that asked me out about it.
     
  14. ConstantComment

    ConstantComment New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2009
    Messages:
    550
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Europe
    Yeah, I have. It seems that the first time you do it with a guy, it can turn out nicely. It never goes anywhere, though. So I gues, if I were looking for a LT relationship, it's never worth even asking a guy out once.

    Maybe someone can give me some tips on how to change my batting average here, so to speak.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted