being single is nice, but being in a relationships is so much better. it really "forces" you to think of the other person and not yourself and learn to share, as well as making compromises, sacrifices and working hard. its not easy, but the payoffs i.e. love, friendship, sharing, etc. are worth it!
Do You Like Being Single?
- Thread starter Capitolhillguy
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laughatbig
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I have been single way too long. I am 38 and never had a meaningful relationship. I get mixed signals from people. Some say don't look for it and it will happen, and others say if you want it go look for it.
invisibleman
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I had that person. After six years, he left me for two well-hung guys. :frown1: He left me abruptly after all of that.
I think that I should've had a backup man.
B_Enough_for_Me
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All good points.
Here's the facts from a single male's perspective. Married women are far less likely to take a job because it pays better than an unmarried woman is. Women, according to the BLS, take advantage of the situation that is marriage to further their career goals; this generally mean they choose jobs that are rewarding in some other sense than financially (teaching, day care, ect). This is especially true after children enter the relationship. Some absurd number of married people have children within the first 2 years and almost all have kids within 10. Kids are a huge drain on an individual and a marriage both mentally and financially. I was just reading something the other day that said almost all couples report a decrease in marital quality after having children. This translates into a decrease in personal quality of life. Additionally, with the introduction of children there is a very high proportion of women that either quit their jobs or reduce their work schedule to part time; stay at home moms/dads. So, where you are getting a discount at various points it is unlikely that those discounts would add up to what you would be making if you were not supporting a wife on a single income; this is exponential for each child you have.
Being single forces a person to reflect. To think about who they are and where they are going. Some fail miserably and decide that the only life for them is being emotionally supported by another. Others become powerhouses of emotional and financial stability. Further, it is much harder to shoot for the moon when you have to consider the needs and desires of another person. I have dated enough women to know that there is a slim chance I will ever run into anyone who has the same goals I have; at a similar stage in accomplishing those goals.
Disclaimers:
marriage is not the only way to have children.....
Some folks are miserable no matter what.
Some couples don't have kids.
Some couples don't get married.
Some couples continue with the dual incomes and live well.
hud01
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I guess in the US I see different things. I was married for 9 years and we decided at the beginning that kids were not what we wanted, at least not at the start.
This enabled us to do many things including lots of travel. Also had the ability to decide on a Friday morning that we were going to go away for the weekend, or when we were away to extend it for another day or two.
There are many professional women in my office at manager, director and VP level with children and they continue to work. As a matter of fact most of them waited until they reached a good level at the company before having kids. They also were in their mid to late twenties to early thirties before even getting married.
The interesting thing is that a few of them actually have house husbands or at the minimum make more money than their husbands.
I think when you really meet the right person, you will adjust your thinking....
:smlove2:
titan1968
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This also applies to me. I've heard this all too often. Friends and colleagues used to fix me up with their friends or acquaintances. Most of the time those (blind) dates went well, but not well enough for a second or third date. Looking back I think I was far too choosy and a little immature.
There are days I like being single, but I must admit it isn't as fun as it used to be. It would be nice to come home from work and have someone to talk to, to cuddle up to or to have dinner with. I am physically fit and love to also have long walks in the park, but have become really tired of walking alone....
I agree with many of the posters who have brought valid points: Why remain in a bad relationship? Why should I change my habits or who I am to make my partner happy? There has to be a little give and take on both sides for any relationship to work, and both partie have to be dedicated to (love) each other, but that does not mean that either party has to change to please the other.
Personally, I think a relationship is like a house. No matter how hard we try to improve the house, it'll crumble like a huse of cards if the foundation is shaky.
There are days I like being single, but I must admit it isn't as fun as it used to be. It would be nice to come home from work and have someone to talk to, to cuddle up to or to have dinner with. I am physically fit and love to also have long walks in the park, but have become really tired of walking alone....
I agree with many of the posters who have brought valid points: Why remain in a bad relationship? Why should I change my habits or who I am to make my partner happy? There has to be a little give and take on both sides for any relationship to work, and both partie have to be dedicated to (love) each other, but that does not mean that either party has to change to please the other.
Personally, I think a relationship is like a house. No matter how hard we try to improve the house, it'll crumble like a huse of cards if the foundation is shaky.
I couldn't have said it better. It is nice to have someone you can share all the good and bad with. Long walks are much better with someone you care about.
This also applies to me. I've heard this all too often. Friends and colleagues used to fix me up with their friends or acquaintances. Most of the time those (blind) dates went well, but not well enough for a second or third date. Looking back I think I was far too choosy and a little immature.
There are days I like being single, but I must admit it isn't as fun as it used to be. It would be nice to come home from work and have someone to talk to, to cuddle up to or to have dinner with. I am physically fit and love to also have long walks in the park, but have become really tired of walking alone....
I agree with many of the posters who have brought valid points: Why remain in a bad relationship? Why should I change my habits or who I am to make my partner happy? There has to be a little give and take on both sides for any relationship to work, and both partie have to be dedicated to (love) each other, but that does not mean that either party has to change to please the other.
Personally, I think a relationship is like a house. No matter how hard we try to improve the house, it'll crumble like a huse of cards if the foundation is shaky.
D_Amyntas Lillydong
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i've read the posts up to page one. it seems being single is for some and not for others. i've been single most of my life and have enjoyed the freedom. but the times i haven't been had been just as satisfying. right now i could use a good friend though.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha! You're kidding right?
Get some good friends and spend time with them and your family!
I miss the sex more than I miss companionship. At this stage of life, being one's own master is the greatest goal.
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Oh yeah, I know. Didn't mean to sound as if I was sentencing myself to a life of singledomness. Just that I wouldn't consider it a bad thing. Although I'm not going to go out of my way to make sure that happens.
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As a single guy myself, I'd say there were both advantages and disadvantages to being single.
On the plus side you've a certain freedom of thought and action that you've not got in a marriage or a relationship. Within the limits imposed by your employment and/or outside commitments, you can do more or less what you want without having to work around some else's wants/needs. You're not dealing with the stresses and the conflicts which inevitably arise in a relationship either.
On the down side you almost certainly pay more in tax as a single person than if you're married, you miss the companionship of having someone special in your life, and there's no one at hand to look after you should you fall ill or share life's burdens. It can be a very lonely existence, unless you're a certain type of person (as fortunately I am) and you're reasonably okay with your own company a large part of the time. Also, people are likelier to speculate about your private life/sexuality if you're single than if you're married or in a partnership, despite the absence of any other grounds than your single state for doing so.
On balance I think there are more disadvantages than advantages.
On the plus side you've a certain freedom of thought and action that you've not got in a marriage or a relationship. Within the limits imposed by your employment and/or outside commitments, you can do more or less what you want without having to work around some else's wants/needs. You're not dealing with the stresses and the conflicts which inevitably arise in a relationship either.
On the down side you almost certainly pay more in tax as a single person than if you're married, you miss the companionship of having someone special in your life, and there's no one at hand to look after you should you fall ill or share life's burdens. It can be a very lonely existence, unless you're a certain type of person (as fortunately I am) and you're reasonably okay with your own company a large part of the time. Also, people are likelier to speculate about your private life/sexuality if you're single than if you're married or in a partnership, despite the absence of any other grounds than your single state for doing so.
On balance I think there are more disadvantages than advantages.
I would feel better about being single if I were dating different women, But I just dont get to meet a lot of women. I hardly ever run into any attractive women in my age range, Im 31, so anyone between 21 and 40 is in my age range now.
Im not in the best shape, but Im working on that, its a gradual long term project of losing weight. not easy or quick. but I think Im too unnattractive in general for women to like me, and that crossed with the fact I never even run into women to even meet, makes it not fun being single.
I mean sometimes I will run into one or two once in awhile, but they are shopping or with their friends or minding their own business, I dont exactly think I catch anyones eye, and that frustrates me not being able to have sex, having to go it alone anytime im horny.
Im not in the best shape, but Im working on that, its a gradual long term project of losing weight. not easy or quick. but I think Im too unnattractive in general for women to like me, and that crossed with the fact I never even run into women to even meet, makes it not fun being single.
I mean sometimes I will run into one or two once in awhile, but they are shopping or with their friends or minding their own business, I dont exactly think I catch anyones eye, and that frustrates me not being able to have sex, having to go it alone anytime im horny.
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