Do you prefer a gay dr. or does it matter?

herbho

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There has been much discussion on some of the other threads about doctors and their relationship with their patients. If you are gay, does the sexual orientation of your dr. make a difference to you? I used to think that it really didn't matter, since they are all presumably professional. However, my last two primary physicians are gay and I think it's really made a difference in my attitude and in the care I get. First of all, I insist on the dr being male; I just feel more comfortable speaking to a man about anything personal. But, with the gay drs, I feel that I can say anything and they will understand and know what to do. For instance, I was scheduled to have a PSA test on a Monday morning after my physical, but I told the dr that I had had a particularly busy night on Saturday having a very active session of anal sex, so it might affect the PSA. I would never have said that to a straight dr. Also, I have had several tests that the dr. recommended for a sexually active gay bottom that would have probably been neglected by a straight one. So, for me, having a gay doctor has been a great relief to me. Has anyone had a similar or different experience? Or would you be just a comfortable being forthcoming with a straight dr?
 

briacon429

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I think it depends on WHY you’re seeing the doctor.

In the situation you’re describing, it absolutely makes sense to go with a gay doctor. After all, he can relate when it comes to sexual health and even mental health, in a way that a straight doctor can’t.

On the other hand, if you’re going to see a doctor for something non-sexual (like an injury or something) then it probably won’t matter as much. At least not to me!
 

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Personally I don't find it essential to have a gay doctor, but I definitely need a very sex-positive and open-minded doctor. That is easier to find when you focus on finding a gay doctor, but I've had plenty of straight doctors over the years with whom it was easy to discuss sexual health issues without any hint of judgment and even some insights and thoughtful advice. Don't be afraid to fire your doctor if you don't feel at all like you can be open and comfortable with them in all things.
 
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deleted1074483

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how do you know a doctor is gay or straight??? any doc i've seen acts professionally and has always treated me as a person.

For sexual advice i tend to go to a specialist sexual health service and again irrespective of gay/straight or male/female/other I just expect them to act professionally and deal with my issue as such.

I can't say that the sexual orientiation of any physician has ever even crossed my mind if i need help.
 

Brodie888

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Gay doctors can be found from listings promoted as lgbtq+ friendly. Googling your town/city and the type of doctor you need will produce some leads.

More often than not, they are lgbtq+ themselves.

I can understand that if you want to discuss gay related issues, eg STI testing, Prep, anal fissures, etc, it's probably going to involve much less judgement from someone who can relate.
 

Illbeg4BigCock

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There has been much discussion on some of the other threads about doctors and their relationship with their patients. If you are gay, does the sexual orientation of your dr. make a difference to you? I used to think that it really didn't matter, since they are all presumably professional. However, my last two primary physicians are gay and I think it's really made a difference in my attitude and in the care I get. First of all, I insist on the dr being male; I just feel more comfortable speaking to a man about anything personal. But, with the gay drs, I feel that I can say anything and they will understand and know what to do. For instance, I was scheduled to have a PSA test on a Monday morning after my physical, but I told the dr that I had had a particularly busy night on Saturday having a very active session of anal sex, so it might affect the PSA. I would never have said that to a straight dr. Also, I have had several tests that the dr. recommended for a sexually active gay bottom that would have probably been neglected by a straight one. So, for me, having a gay doctor has been a great relief to me. Has anyone had a similar or different experience? Or would you be just a comfortable being forthcoming with a straight dr?
I'm totally with you on this.
 
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deleted15329811

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I like my Dr. he's actually pretty cute! He's straight and married but he's the only guy that knows everything about me and that i'm gay everyone else has no idea if im straight or gay or nothing!
 

Infernal

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I had a gay Dr when I lived in Chicago and he was amazing. He didn't take any shit and he wouldn't let you give any shit to yourself. If he felt you weren't taking care of yourself he would tell you and he didn't spare your feelings over it either. I told him once that he was too thin and he wasn't looking good. He sat down and told me he had been a fat kid that was teased and now had issues with food. I reminded him that when he saw my good cholesterol was too low that I should go out and have a nice juicy steak once in a while, and maybe he should take his own advice. He got a big smile on his face and said thanks for reminding me to take care of myself as much as I take care of you. The next time I saw him he looked better and when I mentioned it he gave me a hug. I miss him. I use an LGBTQ practice here in Phoenix, but I prefer to see the PA. The Dr is good, but his personality is cold. I much prefer his PA to him.
 

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One can’t generalize too far, but for a family doctor or specialist, it makes little difference. For a shrink or therapist, though, I’ve had much better results with a gay man. IMHE, cognitive behavioral therapy needs a lot more understanding for a gay patient. And in my case, a slower pace. A straight therapist can sometimes underestimate the amount of CPTSD which gay men routinely have endured.

Our current family doctor is straight, but very gay aware. And hip in other ways besides. He’s located in the inner city, on the border of the gay quarter. And operates a cosmopolitan, multilingual practice with skills in HIV management. Great sense of humour, too, which is not always guaranteed among doctors where we live!
 
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deleted15329811

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Having had the situation where the Dr changed into someone very abrupt and standoffish when I revealed I was gay, I will never fall into that trap again.
My Dr. was the first person who actually knows I'm gay! I mean sure guys I've cammed with and have shown my face to know, but don't know anything but maybe my age and possibly my city! My Dr is the only one who knows the real me! He was very welcoming and reassuring. He also didn't make me feel bad when I went in because I thought I caught something first time out of the gate! He's straight but he's a cool dude and wasn't repulsed or turned into someone else!
 
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deleted15862221

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Couldn’t careless, I don’t even consider it. As long as the doctor is professional and does their job that’s all I care about.
 

bigdong76

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As long as I can talk to, and understand that doctor and they listen to me, I don't care. I've had equally good and bad service from both. I'm bi, my doctor knows that, I've been involved in the porn industry years ago and worked with the doctors that give certs and i've had equal experiences with both. I think deep down it's more about us than it is them, I'm comfortable telling my doctor what goes down regardless of their sex or orientation I don't feel more or less comfortable either way, but then being bi probably influences that too.
 

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There has been much discussion on some of the other threads about doctors and their relationship with their patients. If you are gay, does the sexual orientation of your dr. make a difference to you? I used to think that it really didn't matter, since they are all presumably professional. However, my last two primary physicians are gay and I think it's really made a difference in my attitude and in the care I get. First of all, I insist on the dr being male; I just feel more comfortable speaking to a man about anything personal. But, with the gay drs, I feel that I can say anything and they will understand and know what to do. For instance, I was scheduled to have a PSA test on a Monday morning after my physical, but I told the dr that I had had a particularly busy night on Saturday having a very active session of anal sex, so it might affect the PSA. I would never have said that to a straight dr. Also, I have had several tests that the dr. recommended for a sexually active gay bottom that would have probably been neglected by a straight one. So, for me, having a gay doctor has been a great relief to me. Has anyone had a similar or different experience? Or would you be just a comfortable being forthcoming with a straight dr?
I've had my Dr. for 27 years. Being gay I feel does make uncomfortable visits go much smoothly. There's nothing I don't discuss with him. He's not only my Dr., he's a great personal friend, both him and his husband.
 

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I know a doctor who is gay. . And he hides the fact that he is gay, because, in his words, he doesn't want to take on only HIV positive patients. . Which bugs me, but that is his choice. I do not see him tho. . currently have a doctor, who is a woman, who is very sex positive, and who knows I am not straight. She has given me the best care. So, I think we have to be open to the doctor and the kind of person they are. Sure, you might find a gay doctor, who isn't very good. Or you might find a great doctor who is straight. So I look for someone that I really am comfortable with, and who I feel understands me and my situation. . Its the same with a dentist, or a specialist.