do you say bye to a straight guy?

[juicybt]

How do y'all respond when you meet a straight guy that ur extra extremely attracted to that is a really good friend, but he doesn't know ur attracted to him. Do you dump him and avoid the excruciatingly painful feelings that you will endure, try to suppress your feelings or, keep at a distance or continue with the friendship?

 

[crescendo69]

Try to find another so you can get over him.

 

[biguy2738]

juicybt, I guess that the thing you need to ask yourself is: What would bring you greater pain, not being able to give in to your feelings, or doing so and losing him as a friend. I think that it is good that you have acknowledged how you feel, the bigger issue though is what you choose to do with your acknowledgement. All of the best!

I think you should have posted this in the Relationships forum as I'm certain you would get a better response.

 

[DaveyR]

Welcome to LPSG

 

[chrisj428]

Juicy,

Coming from the "been there, done that, got the t-shirt" group, lemme tell ya -- the sooner you move on, the sooner you'll feel better about the whole thing.

Having gone through that over two years ago, it was a very painful experience and I blamed myself for a lot of the problems, at least initially. What I realized in the end was the he was just as much to blame as I was, with his constant "over-the-line" flirtations which he never intended to take to the next step.

While everyone certainly has to make their own decisions and their own mistakes, if I can save just one from this pain, then it will have been worth it.

 

[jeff black]

How do y'all respond when you meet a straight guy that ur extra extremely attracted to that is a really good friend, but he doesn't know ur attracted to him. Do you dump him and avoid the excruciatingly painful feelings that you will endure, try to suppress your feelings or, keep at a distance or continue with the friendship?

Goodbyes are hard.

 

[Matthew]

No, I just say bi.

 

[D_Bob_Crotchitch]

Well, a really good friend is a rare find. I'd work on dealing with my feelings and keep the friend. There are many times in our lives that we meet people we can't have. It's just a fact of life. A true friend is a rare treasure.

 

[mnavillus]

I have the same situation...but he's been my friend for several years. Only within the last two years have I found myself in love w/ him. It took me a while to let him know my true feelings. And it took him a while to admit to me that he's BI... but he says he wants to find a wife and have a family. He also admitted he's not attracted to me (even though we've had sex and maintained a 'friends with benefits' relationship.
So.. I guess my answer to you is: there are plenty of people in the same boat as you. I have decided that the friendship is more important. So we keep that. I should try to break off the 'friendship with benefits'...but that's too good. I can't stop. He's single...so am I.. so the 'benefits' don't hurt anyone. But I know if he ever gets a girlfriend, I'm gonna die. And it will be very hard to continue a friendship if he gets a girlfriend. And that'll suck because we've been close friends for about 14 years. What a mess!

 

[mnavillus]

I just re-read your question and am curious: what do you mean by "keep the distance?"

 

[arliss]

leave him alone.....i know if a guy came onto me i would be spooked...i have a few gay male friends..just that ..friends..if they ever came onto me it would spook me and cause a lot of consternation.....i would also become suspicious of every other male that tried to befriend me from that point on.....if he is str8 u are waisting ya time...do not be selfish.....move on and leave him alone...some things are not worth sacrificing over....

 

[naughty]

Wow,

FInding love is hard enough as it is. I dont see how anyone who is swimming against the current functions without being depressed, honestly. Unfortunately, You may have to swallow your feelings. Im sorry you are finding yourself in this situation. It is never fun to care for someone and live on a precipice of losing a friendship if it is revealed. Best wishes to you.

 

[dreamer20]

you are extremely attracted to a really good friend, Do you dump him and avoid the excruciatingly painful feelings that you will endure, try to suppress your feelings or, keep at a distance or continue with the friendship?

If he is an attractive, good friend there is no need to say goodbye. You can appreciate his looks, but that is as much as you can do if you value the friendship. You'll have to seek out someone else to satisfy your love jones.

he's BI... I know if he ever gets a girlfriend, I'm gonna die. What a mess!

Before you do anything rash mnavillus, dig this!:wink::

YouTube - Main Ingredient-Everybody Plays The Fool

 

[MovingForward]

Well most of my straight friends are attractive, but I would not jeopardize our friendship by making a pass. Even if I think they are bi, I would let them make the first move.

 

[buddy7706]

im in almost the same boat except my friend i know is bi only hes no where near ready to try things out, and as much as i think he knows or senses me, he too does not kno that im bi as well.. i can sense the flirtation still to this day at times but he has gotten a girlfriend which pretty much got between us in the long run. even after they broke up ...we are not as close as we used to be. and that closeness has drifted further and further as time went on.. he would never come out or make it public and has said he will get married and have kids ...we still really close friends just not like the early days no where near to closeness we had...so im pretty much settled on it will never happen..and the funny part is you never ever think u could actually start to like the person more and more so im telling you itss going to be hard because it hit me hard at least and im to the point where im tryin to give up and let it go but its just harddd...we all cant be lucky like the "mnavillus" even though thats all i ever wanted with this person just to be friends and have benfits without anybody knowin...cuz i too want to get married and have kidss but im leaning towards "its never gunna happen" soo i say back off now but still be friends ...

 

[CUBE]

Where I work I never have to worry about getting to close to a straight guy. Once they figure out I'm gay they go running from just a platonic relationship. It sucks and I really never get use to it. The narrow people found in education would blow your mind. But once that happens I tend to blow them off forever because I figure if they feel that way about me how must they feel about various students....

 

[cocktaste]

leave him alone.....i know if a guy came onto me i would be spooked...i have a few gay male friends..just that ..friends..if they ever came onto me it would spook me and cause a lot of consternation.....i would also become suspicious of every other male that tried to befriend me from that point on.....if he is str8 u are waisting ya time...do not be selfish.....move on and leave him alone...some things are not worth sacrificing over....

Spooked? You say you're not interested and move on. It's not like they're going to jump on you or something.

 

[jeff black]

I've changed my mind, dude.

IF you fancy this man and he is straight, you need to weigh out your choices...

Do you really want to give this man up as a friend? I wouldn't. If this person is as wonderful as I think you feel he is.... put the feelings aside. Having him as a friend allows you to keep him in your life. What's more important than that?

 

[chavous]

I befriend them and hope we get naked and at least jack off together!

 

[invisibleman]

How do y'all respond when you meet a straight guy that ur extra extremely attracted to that is a really good friend, but he doesn't know ur attracted to him. Do you dump him and avoid the excruciatingly painful feelings that you will endure, try to suppress your feelings or, keep at a distance or continue with the friendship?

You can salvage the friendship if it is a TRUE friendship. Set the boundaries. Don't allow yourself to be lovers. Or, you can put some distance and focus on men who are able to love you.

You can start loving a man that can reciprocate your feelings. Falling in love with pretty packaging is elusive. You know that guy likes women. He can't give you what you want. HE LIKES WOMEN.

Anytime you offer a person your heart to love--you give that person permission to: 1) disappoint you; 2) not disappoint you now but later on--disappoint you; 3)disappoint that person; and 4) not disappoint that person now but later on disappoint that person.

This is why if love someone you have to give your heart to the one who can appreciate it for all its worth and you must be able to do the exact same thing for the person you are with.

I have a rule: if you want to remain friends--NEVER make a friend a lover. If you want a lover, never make them your friend.