Do you say those three words?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by D_Relentless Original, Dec 8, 2009.

  1. D_Relentless Original

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2008
    Messages:
    16,839
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    10
    Gender:
    Male
    Listening to a collegue at work, she had numerous calls all day from her boyfriend, at the end of each conversation, she replied "I Love You".Must have been 7 calls that day, anyway i told my partner about it and they replied "Lucky him, you rarely say it".

    Thing is;can it be said too much without meaning its true meaning?, yes i say it rarely when i feel i truly want to say it, when it matters, otherwise it can be lost in day to day conversation if it is said repeatedly.

    What do you do/say? do you say it all the time or rarely like me when it really means something to you?
    What do you think?
     
  2. HUNGHUGE11X7

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 21, 2005
    Messages:
    2,080
    Albums:
    16
    Likes Received:
    1,370
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Earth/USA/GA! DEEP IN YOUR THROAT,See vid TO SEE H
    Verified:
    Photo
    Anytime I part company with someone that I love I always say it. They of course know it but saying it is nice to hear and when you lose three of your best friends all within a year you learn how valuable time is with someone and to be thankful for the time you are given however briefly it may be. You also learn the importance of someone KNOWING that you love them cause once they are gone you can never say it to them AGAIN !!!


    HH
     
  3. D_Bob_Crotchitch

    D_Bob_Crotchitch New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2006
    Messages:
    8,498
    Likes Received:
    18
    I'm sorry Tardis. I should have said it to you more. Instead, I always say to you, "lift your legs".
     
  4. bigtwin

    bigtwin Member

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2004
    Messages:
    169
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    22
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Boston (MA, US)
    Tardis, in many ways the words "I love you" have become a common term of endearment. That's why you hear it so often at the end of phone conversations, in place of goodbye as your heading out the door etc. I say it to my wife, she says it to me. Is it said too often? I think its up to each person, each couple to decide for themselves. The important thing is to communicate your feelings for your partner unambiguously.
     
  5. nick1014

    nick1014 New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2009
    Messages:
    250
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    33
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Evanston, IL
    When I say "I love you" to people I care about (and I do it a lot), I always mean it. I wouldn't say it if I didn't. For me, saying it all the time doesn't make the feeling less intense or make the words feel cheap. It's a reminder to them and to me of how much they mean to me, and that concept deepens our feelings and the significance of the bond we share. I really can't see any down side unless you feel like it's being pulled out of you when you don't really mean it.
     
  6. FleshlightMouth

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2004
    Messages:
    2,355
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    363
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Providence, RI • Fort Lauderdale, FL

    Very well said!
     
  7. Fleur

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2009
    Messages:
    1,559
    Likes Received:
    28
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Manhattan
    I think a lot of people use it as a sort of "good-bye" or "talk to you later" but seven times in one day would overwhelm me. For me it would lose it's meaning. I think once a day is more than enough. I'd usually say talk to you soon or see you later. I mostly say it when it means something or the feeling is right. But everyone is different.
     
  8. B_Hung Jon

    B_Hung Jon New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2007
    Messages:
    5,008
    Likes Received:
    16
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Los Angeles, California
    I have had people, who I did love, die unexpectedly so I always say it to those I do love because I might not see them again. I think that losing someone you love very much is a really hard thing to go through. I only say "I love you" to those I truly feel that way about. I also feel that it's important because if it's sincere, then the other person can feel my care and concern for them. We all need to love and be loved. It's a most basic human need.
     
  9. wellfedslut

    wellfedslut New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2008
    Messages:
    6
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Tardis, I'm with you. I don't say it often, mainly because I try to show by my actions all the time that I love the person that I am with. When the words finally come out of my mouth, something has moved me in the moment and it needs to be said. I feel the same about hearing the words in return. Treat me right every single day and the words become less important.
     
  10. D_Anton_Pavlovich_Jerkhov

    D_Anton_Pavlovich_Jerkhov Account Disabled

    Joined:
    May 31, 2009
    Messages:
    305
    Likes Received:
    0
    For me, it is easier to say those six words: I am in love with you.

    Passion is concrete; love is abstract.
     
  11. Load Lichfield

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2008
    Messages:
    76
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    England
    Verified:
    Photo
    As has been said, it's a throw away line. Often without real feeling, and coming under the guise of 'need'. I need to say it, as he or she will want/expect me to. Or I need to say it as I have a need to keep confirming it with my partner, so that I can hopefully get some reassurance back.

    I think even saying it daily or weekly is unnecessary.

    If you have real love with someone (as opposed to being in love), then you rarely need to say it. Love is always between you and around you, and it's something you can feel, so why the need to say what you both know?

    The need to say it frequently is always borne out of insecurity. It's always driven by the mind (which is what being in love is), as opposed to a voice from the heart.

    The vast majority of people who are in love, don't show love.
     
  12. pitloverfl

    pitloverfl New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2009
    Messages:
    680
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Florida
    Interesting take on things but not really in keeping with my experience. Love is a quirky beast and works differently for different people in varied situations, but other than some forms of parental love, I've always found it needs a little maintenance to stay healthy. Feelings can also be seen as habits of thought and action. Putting your feelings into words is a form of action and can have a very crystallizing function for some people (not all). Saying "I love you" isn't some magical mantra and should never be forced, but it can be an important form of reinforcement. I'd also point out that sometimes insecurities need to be soothed because they are rational reactions to the facts on the ground. I've sometimes said it for this reason, but that's far from the most common reason. Usually, I say it because it emanates directly from the honest emotion I am feeling in the moment. That having been said, there's a lot more to keeping love alive than saying "I love you".
     
  13. eyescream

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2009
    Messages:
    1,101
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    (Nomadic...relocating again very soon)
    I've never said it out loud to anyone. I guess I expect people to be mind readers. I'm scared to say it out loud, I feel it might sound too plain and the person would think I'm lying. But I love a lot, I try to show everyone I know that I care about them and always take time out to be with them if they need me.
     
  14. B_625girth

    B_625girth New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2007
    Messages:
    2,372
    Likes Received:
    13
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    midwest
    my wife says it all the time or asks me in the course of the day, "do you love me?" and complains I don't say it enough, and I think I don't because she overdoes it. what kind of gets me is someone you don't really know that well telling you they love you. I mean I know there is all kinds of love, brotherly love, family love, romantic(sexual) love. if I have an unrelated woman tell me she loves me, I think romantic(sexual) love immediately. I don't think of "friend" love, guys have buddies and pals and good friends, and best friends but we never say "I love you", but if a woman tells me she loves me, I don't think of friend love, I am thinking romantic love and sex. and most of the time that's what they mean and want. I am friends with a young gal that if I was 20 years younger & single we would be together romantically. On more than one occassion she has told me that she loves me, at first I thought romantic, but then I realized she loved me as a friend, which is pretty good, because I am not friends with too many women. I am not friends with any of the women I ever dated except one who recently admitted to me that she loves me, "has loved me from the beginning, and will love me til the end', which is what I thought about her when we dated and was the furtherest from her mind at the time. Recently, this young gal and I have been talking more than before, she was pretty down one night, I think about her bf, tears in her eyes at times, very secretive about who she sees, and won't say much. but by the end of the night I got the longest hug, face in my chest, a tearful look up, with a whispered " i love you" and she broke away. I don't know if she is playing with me, sees me as a father figure, or a physical lover. actually I think it is a little of all three. she knows I am hung because her gfs chat about guys, & bulges and they have discussed me. I have seen a furtive glance or two to my package from her over time. right now, I just let the situation ride, enjoy her friendship, her demeanor, (she is very cool, laid back, drinks very little, no drugs), and her physical beauty, and the hugs. Man, did I have guys jealous of me after the long hug that one night. a couple females even came up and wondered what that was all about. I really don't know what I would do if I had to choose between her and my wife. "baby, baby, I think I love you too much."
     
  15. hud01

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2009
    Messages:
    5,262
    Likes Received:
    23
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    new york city
    Used to say it at the end of every call with my ex, regardless of how many times we talked in a day.

    Never underestimate how much people need to hear positive words. One thing that got her upset with me, was that I stopped saying she was hot.
     
  16. hud01

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2009
    Messages:
    5,262
    Likes Received:
    23
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    new york city
    I am going to be an ass. Please break up something this long into paragraphs. It makes it much easier to read.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted