do you str8 guys do this?

[bigmix]

just wondering, with a bit curious...

1. male bonding, what is it? does a real str8 guy do this? (i mean a straight man who fucks only female or his sex interest only on the female, like some girls told me the 'pussies face'!!)

<i asked as i was told that it was only touching each other's cocks, maybe for comparing or jerking, for further fantacies, kissing, absolutely no fucking!!>

2. jerking with stranger, i felt that it's a bit gay if not a close friend, or i maybe wrong?! and at my age, i think it's not the age of doing this? or my thought is too old for this era? i admitted that i did it with my close friends when i was younger, and not that frequent, only we were too nasty!! hehe..

can i be sure that the one(s) who proposed this to me is gay or bi?

i asked this to some gay friends, they just told me that those are surely gay, if you don't wanna go for it, just turn it down politely.. i did that all the time i was proposed!!

please help expand my horizon on today's men relationship... should i open up for this?

for 1., i was proposed by a really good customer, who now became a long time friend, we hang out together (with some of his/my friends), from working out to checking some hot chicks or so... (had a group sex with him once, i mean we 2 men with 2 girls in the same room)... however, i still feel that he is not a close friend and why he keep proposing me this.. and he's now pushing me a lot everytime we meet.. and i think i wanna keep the good relationship without that kinda bonding, just like the way it is currently, not sure what he is thinking now. i've turned it down at least 4-5 times as much as i could remember.

for 2., it doesn't matter as it was a stranger though!!

thanks in advance.

 

[bigmix]

2 days ago ... no answer? did I ask something wrong or...
could I assume there is no str8 guy around here?

 

[D_Martin van Burden]

1. Male bonding isn't always sexual. I think of it as just hanging out. Maybe, depending on your friend in question, it's more about hanging out and getting to know each other, talking about things on your mind, and so on. If you and your buddy can jack off together without feeling weird about it, I suppose that counts too; it's just not the only way to bond with a friend.

2. Don't really have much more to add on this than I did in #1.

I've only tagged a girl with a few dudes in my lifetime. It wasn't pre-planned or something talked about at length. Alcohol usually helped loosen the inhibition. And, really, I didn't think of it as super hot or sexy or something that I needed to do. It was just... different.

 

[ZOS23xy]

There's a joke about male bonding, but it involves several quarts of beer.


Anyway, there are guys who like their male friends, would do anything for them, (except fucking them), and are special friends for life.

 

[mista geechee]

yea i thought male bonding was drinkin a beer or goin to the ball game

 

[Rugbypup]

Men bond through shared activity and problem solving. Women bond by communication and sympathy.

 

[8060]

just wondering, with a bit curious...

1. male bonding, what is it? does a real str8 guy do this? (i mean a straight man who fucks only female or his sex interest only on the female, like some girls told me the 'pussies face'!!)

<i asked as i was told that it was only touching each other's cocks, maybe for comparing or jerking, for further fantacies, kissing, absolutely no fucking!!>

2. jerking with stranger, i felt that it's a bit gay if not a close friend, or i maybe wrong?! and at my age, i think it's not the age of doing this? or my thought is too old for this era? i admitted that i did it with my close friends when i was younger, and not that frequent, only we were too nasty!! hehe..

can i be sure that the one(s) who proposed this to me is gay or bi?

i asked this to some gay friends, they just told me that those are surely gay, if you don't wanna go for it, just turn it down politely.. i did that all the time i was proposed!!

please help expand my horizon on today's men relationship... should i open up for this?

for 1., i was proposed by a really good customer, who now became a long time friend, we hang out together (with some of his/my friends), from working out to checking some hot chicks or so... (had a group sex with him once, i mean we 2 men with 2 girls in the same room)... however, i still feel that he is not a close friend and why he keep proposing me this.. and he's now pushing me a lot everytime we meet.. and i think i wanna keep the good relationship without that kinda bonding, just like the way it is currently, not sure what he is thinking now. i've turned it down at least 4-5 times as much as i could remember.

for 2., it doesn't matter as it was a stranger though!!

thanks in advance.

What's up, Bigmix? Here's what I've got for you. In my experience, my male bonding hasn't had anything to do with sex. It's much deeper than that. The men in my life that I consider my friends are respected by me. I listen to them. I give them advice on everyday shit. We watch movies together. We cook together. We take naps together. We exercise together. We laugh together. We talk about everything. It's more of a communication thing. We even cry together as a result of some of our conversations. I know some hard men that are much more relaxed around me than they would be in any social setting and it's never sexual. It's just relating the vibe that "this dude is cool and I can be myself." Just because you're a man doesn't mean that you have to be hard all of the time. Male bonding puts you in a place where you let your guard down and tell your male friends what you're really thinking and why.

I bond with married men who tell me all of the things about their wives that irritate that they've never mentioned to their wives. They always say that their wives wouldn't understand the way I do. I tell them that if they would communicate their feelings to their wives like they did to me, which is honestly and without anger and frustration behind it, they may more accepting to your feelings. I used the word love a lot, a friendship way. A lot of men will never tell you that they love you when actually they'll kill somebody for you, literally. That's love, haha. The more you put into a friendship, the more you'll get out of it. I hope my words gave you the slightest inclination of what you were looking for. Peace

 

[bigmix]

thanks for all of your generous replies.

first, i forgot to introduce myself that i am in the very asian country and never had this kinda thing happened in my family so it's kinda blank for me!!

i had some parts of my life in Australia and some Asian countries for part time studying and working, so it didn't make me that much understanding in westerners at all!!

as an easterner (even i had some western bloods mixed in mine, but the look of both my parents are so asian), i was fed to grow up in more asian ways...

that's why i really don't get what i was offered by this friend at first so that I had to come here and seek for a good advice.

well, 8060, i understood your statement clearly. i did that too, listening, to both men and women, and i was told that i'm a good listener and a good comforter too.. hehe.

what happened to me is quite complicated and really hard to understand.. but i tried to put all the jig-saws to realise what the story is...

 

[bigmix]

well, as mentioned above, i have worked closely with this good customer for 4 yrs, he is canadian, 5 yrs older than me. after a year of working for him (a part time job), i felt that he is like an older brother whom I have none, as i'm the biggest in family. and I can talk anything openly to him and he can do the same to me. so we have had a really good relationship until last few months.

to make it in brief, last 3 yrs, he had a wife and she's gone in around 1.5 yrs with only reason he told me that she hated having sex with him.. i assumed that bcoz he has a quite big tool, not that long (around 7, never asked or measured just an eye estimated from my size) but thick.. like mine.. so i was kinda really get into his feeling at that time.. we went out quite often to spend the night lives together and our relationship went quite good ... we also like sports, working out at the same gym, he has a really good looking body and always have a serious session to get in shape, at his age of 43.. so i seeked for his advice as a coach, he loves it too.

we occasionally went out to get hot girls and finally ended up with in turn fucked one or two hot chicks .. well, that's the single men lifestyle.. so i think it's normal, and we are quite open to each other, we can get naked in front of each other any time.

the first shock, but i still had a good attitude that it was he got drunk and in mood of fucking, was happening in a night with that hot chick, i cummed first on her (out of her pussy), sprayed my cum on her tits and body and he was the next turn to fuck and cum.. after i came, i stood next to her while he lick on her body with my cum covered (yeah, he licked my cum on her body!!) i looked and smiled, just thought that it was a part of foreplay.. the most shocking part was when he came to knelt down to lick her pussy, he turned to lick my dick as well.. so i stepped back to sit down on the other corner to rest..

we didn't talk about that after that night.. and it was like never happened to me.. until the day i went to swim at his place and felt asleep after the long hour of swimming, i went to shower and came out to rest on the sofa in his room... only towel covered..

i was so tired and felt asleep, until i felt like dreaming, i've got a sensual touch on my dick and balls.. yeah, and i felt like i wanna cum, then i really came... i immediately woke up ... that extremely shocked me ... my cum was on his face!!.. with my surprise, i told him sorry.. he just said it's fine.. and smiled.. and i just noticed that he was naked and got his boner... walking to his room!!

i started thinking why my cum was on his face... so i went to clean up myself and came to asked him what he did to me when i felt asleep.. he just acted like nothing .. so i decided to get home...

i stopped going to see him for a big while like over a month (i still worked for him and send him a file over the internet, never went to see him eversince) until one day he popped up at my place with a box of gift (with ribbon, so i called it gift...?)... i asked him what it was for.. he just told me open it and you'll get it.. what i found in that box were a note with that pair of my swim trunk (i forgot and left there, swimming was like a nightmare for me for a while!!). the note was kinda extremely shocked me ..

he wrote that he didn't know how long this has happened, he felt like need me to stay with him all the time, he loved the time we were together, and i lost in touch with him for so long, it made him so lonely!! the rest were too much to go on as it was too imagination for me.. I can't imagine or follow his imagination what he wrote in it.. so it's ... i don't know what to say..

he called me many times to pick up the works, i just asked him to call a messenger service to deliver to my place... as i was too bz to see him.. and it was true, i worked full time for a company with an aussie boss now.. and i travel a lot too.

finally, he checked until he know what time i go to the gym, he went to meet me there.. and asked me to go out for dinner or checking some hot chicks with him.. i did it occasionally... and last few times, he asked if we could do male bonding... i asked him what it was... he told me that i stated above... so i just stopped and refused him politely.

until the day i came to post this ... that was the day i went to the gym and we showered together after the long session of serious work out, he came to rub my back with his towel, and told me that i need someone to take care, and stopped there.. i dressed up and ran out without a word..

so is he gay? if yes, why a str8 man can be gay in over night? i really don't know why? i never felt it that way with him.. i stopped working for him now.. and stopped going to the gym with 6 months of membership leftover.. and stopped taking any of his calls. i really confused how i could keep that good old day of relationship back, or i was too insane with this.. or this is normal for str8 guy as he told me... that's why i asked if str8 guy comparing cocks or jerking off together, if not drunk as DeeBlackthorne said?

he told me that this is what metro men do, is it real? sorry for the repetitive questions? i really get confused!!!!!! confused what today's men relationship are..

sorry for the long story... but i really need your kind advice... i open this for gay men here, please help me consider if this good friend is gay or it is just me who is now confused with today's men relationship..

 

[8060]

Bigmix, if you and your friend had a threesome with a female, then he's obviously bisexual. Both sexes turn him on. And he's gotta be infatuated and attracted to you sexually more because of your friendship. If you're not comfortable with the sexual tension that he brings into your relationship, then you have to speak up and make him understand that you value his friendship but would prefer not to partake in any sexual activity with him. Until he understands how you feel about that, he's going to continue to hit on you and spend time and space being naked with you. You have to stop making yourself available to him in that way. But you need to tell him how you feel and what you're wondering about him and stop wondering what he's doing. All of this time that you all spend together, he's only using it to seduce you into getting more out of you.

If you miss your friend, then keep your friend, in the manner that's comfortable for you. He'll understand your emotions if you tell him. If not, he'll continue to want you and that will continue to drive you away from him. Take some time and think about how you want to word your emtions so he will accept your words. Words are powerful and you wouldn't want to say the wrong thing that inevitably will not grant you what you're looking for. Good luck

 

[bigmix]

thanks for your really kind advice, 8060...

I have done that, rejection with very polite manner and also let him know how I felt to him. and I stated it very clearly that I really don't wanna do what he asked/proposed for. and thanked him for such a valuable admiration on me.. that was over 3 months and i thought it was over!!

anyway, I'll try to think about it and I love what you told me ... words are powerful... it might be that my words are not that powerful to stop him thinking about me in that way.

I'll follow my mom's zen meditation today. I think it worked before.

thanks again.. for everything.

PS. I did 3/4some with him, but never touch him sexually, no kiss, or whatsoever, I just do it with the girl, only him that tried to touch me weirdly (for me). just fyi

 

[8060]

You're going to have make yourself nonexistant to this guy. He will love you until he dies. The more time and space that you spend together, his love for you has the potential to get stronger, and that's not a good dynamic to be in if it's not reciprocated. Everyone has to say goodbye a friend every now and then. There's plenty of people on Earth to befriend. He'll make another one and so will you.

You just have to be strong enough to see that through. You can't miss him. You can't call and check on him. You can't fuck women together with him anymore. All of those things feed his feelings for you. So, take those things into consideration when planning you're next tactical move.

 

[B_boynextdoorkpt]

Male bonding?
Is that just a gay man fantasy of kissing hugging and touching a cock of a straight man?
Or in a straight man's world, is that two men that go fishing, play golf, talk about life, their wives, jobs etc... I think there are two different school of thoughts on this.

 

[vindicator]

There is no doubt that male bonding CAN include jerking off together, watching porn... hell... it can even involve going further. There is no definition. Think about it, "male bonding" means to guys coming closer together. Me and my straight best friend used to jerk off together. He told me years later that he just felt comfortable with me enough to pretty much to anything. You got to admit, two guys have to be pretty close to do something like that together.

There is no problem if two (straight, bi, gay) guys want to take it wherever they want, but as long as BOTH people are down with it.

In this case, you are clearly not. You want to keep it on a friendship and non-sexual level, and he doesn't... and thats where the problem lies. As 8060 said, he is only going to get more deeply attached to you so you need to tell him straight up where you stand... and deal with it accordingly.

 

[bigdalten]

I had a close friend when younger. We did a lot of things together. We often got together and masturbated and it usually led to our masturbating each other, sometimes multiple times. We just enjoyed playing with each other's dicks and making each other cum. We also enjoyed being naked, stroking our own penises and seeing who could cum first. I don't think it made us gay or bi or straight. We just enjoyed jacking off together and cumming as much as we could.

 

[vindicator]

Thats exactly what i'm talking about...

 

[yurkon]

Or in a straight man's world, is that two men that go fishing, play golf, talk about life, their wives, jobs etc... I think there are two different school of thoughts on this.

That is an accurate description. bonding would never be masturbating together or anything remotely sexual.

My guess would be that typical bonding would happen before something of sexual nature happened, but str8 men don't view that as the next step or part of bonding. Play or watch sports, go drinking with a group of guys is pretty much it.

 

[gjorg]

I can't get caught up on this one . I give up!!!!!

 

[yurkon]

I can't get caught up on this one . I give up!!!!!

C'mon.....

you know you want to...

 

[gjorg]

C'mon.....

you know you want to...

I have been misunderstood enough!