Do you think a closeted gay man can really live out his life as a heterosexual man?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by buddy7706, Jun 15, 2007.

  1. buddy7706

    buddy7706 Member

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    I was just wondering, do you think a closet gay man can really live out his whole life as a heterosexual or does every gay male eventually give in or give up living life a lie? and how do gay guys actually marry and have kids without being in love with their spouses. And how do they pull it off for yearrs even? Can a gay man who does not want to live a gay life really just live a heterosexual one with no problems.. Any guys out there doing that ?? letss here how you do it?
     
  2. earllogjam

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    Ted Haggard
    Jim Bakker
    Michael Huffington
    J Edgar Hoover
    Roy Cohn

    It is possible, but not very pretty.
     
  3. kalipygian

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    No, but billions have.
     
  4. fortiesfun

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    Billions might be a bit of an overestimation, but a couple hundred million, at least...

    Seriously, what makes you think gay men aren't in love with their wives. Love and desire are different things...

    Second, why would you want to do so now, if time and place offer you different opportunities?

    Finally, though I appreciate Earl's point, I'd suggest for each of these horrible examples there are huge numbers of examples of men who were neither destructive nor hypocritical. They may have been unhappy, or at least unfulfilled, but that does not mean they took it out on others.
     
  5. D_Aston Asstonne

    D_Aston Asstonne Account Disabled

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    i have a close friend who recently discovered her hubby of 20 years was gay.he stuck with her ,raised 2 kids,and when his parents passed....whammo!outta the closet he came!he supposedly lived as a straight guy to keep from hurting his parents...wtf?
     
  6. earllogjam

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    I know many men who married women and later realized that they preferred gay sex. And there is no doubt in my mind that they loved their wives when they married and had loving caring relationships with them. Some are still married, primarily because of children but most have divorced and moved on. Sexuality is such a incessant and strong craving that can't be ignored very easily.

    Your sexuality may also change and people come to realize things at different times of their life. One friend of mine discovered he really liked men at 35, living previously as a happy hetrosexual man. I think there are a few LPSG members where their sexuality has not been constant. Even though I consider myself a gay man I still find some women attractive, believe it or not and I can see my younger self if I lived in India, Japan, Saudi Arabia, where homosexulity is not an option doing the hetrosexual/married thing if forced, and be an OK husband, as I think I would enjoy raising kids.

    But here, I choose to live as a gay man because I can. It is just more fulfilling giving into craving.
     
  7. whatireallywant

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    I used to know a woman whose husband left her for another man. She was distraught at first, thinking that she was so awful an example of a woman that she drove him to men, but then she met his lover - her reaction, "Why, he's a male version of me!" They grew to be friends after that.

    I could've told her that it wasn't anything she did to "drive" him to another man. He was gay to begin with. It's sad that society disapproves so much that people feel that they have to do this. It was not fair to him or to her.
     
  8. Principessa

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    My guess is that this happens all the time; but I could be wrong.


    These are lousy examples because they were outed publicly. Also I don't recall Jim Bakker being gay, just a lieing, cheating, embezzler. :tongue:
     
  9. dreamer20

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    I hope that they don't give up living. Why are you surprised that they desired and had children buddy? Many persons who marry do want to have heirs and descendants. Out of love for their spouses and children these men will continue to dwell with them and support them, although they might be having secret sex with men. Some will choose to divorce when the children are older. Some have understanding spouses who don't object to their husband's extra martial sex.
     
  10. submit452

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    Jeez I agree Roy Cohn was a big train wreck. He dated (and was friends with) Barbara Walters. If they married and had kids! They would be reptillian alien babies. Yuuuck
     
  11. smoothrnb

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    Yes, I think it's possible to live a closeted life, but my next question is: What kind of life is it? I know from personal experience and hearing from other GLBT people that living a closeted life leads to my emotional and psychological issues. If these are not dealt with honestly, the person will suffer no matter what the person does to avoid them. I have never heard of any closeted person going through life "successfully" without some issues.
     
  12. dcwrestlefan

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    yeh, that's pretty much it.
     
  13. invisibleman

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    If there weren't homophobia, straight guys could breathe easier. Sleep better at nights.
     
  14. cocktaste

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    It would have been better for him to have done it to not hurt his wife.
     
  15. DC_DEEP

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    More to the point, if the homophobia didn't exist, gay men would not feel compelled to marry women in the first place... or any of those other "trying to be straight, hiding in the closet" activities.
     
  16. chesz001

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    In my observation,i could say that he CAN'T live his entire life as a heterosexual man.you couldnt easily hide who you are,maybe now but not in the future.you see,there are this people we call "late bloomers',i mean there are guys who have been married for years but at the end they realized that theyre girl at heart.there are some who you think they are very straight without knowing their gay sides coz they hide it.i think some dont just easily live their life as a gay at an early age becoz of rejection,shame,carrying the family's pride and a lot more reasons.
     
  17. oregonhighflyer

    oregonhighflyer New Member

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    This is my first post to lpsg.org and this topic somewhat hits home. I am "curious" to say the least but am in fear of what people, especially my family and friends, will think. I enjoy women, but I also enjoy the male body. (visually, I've never been with a guy physically, yet.)

    I would love the "American Family", a wife, kids, nice cars and a nice house, but I wonder if I could ever really be happy. As it stands right now, I'm not really happy but I don't think that my family and friends would accept me if I was openly bi.

    So it's either continue to live life the same old way, unhappily, or test out the waters secretly (I do live 2 hours away from the family and most of my friends as I have just moved).

    Any thoughts? :confused:
     
  18. B_Hung Jon

    B_Hung Jon New Member

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    I think each person has to be true to him/her self. Maybe you could move to a place where you could find out about your curiosity.

    When I think about this issue, it reminds me of the film Brokeback Mountain.
     
  19. oregonhighflyer

    oregonhighflyer New Member

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    It truly is! I would be nervous as hell moving to a new place to explore my curiosity as I have never been with a guy. Part of life I guess. Being true to him/her self is probably the hardest thing to do.
     
  20. prince_will

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    It does seem so sad...living against your true feelings out of love and guilt. It really shows selflessness but again, it does seem sad...
     
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