I was just wondering, do you think a closet gay man can really live out his whole life as a heterosexual or does every gay male eventually give in or give up living life a lie? and how do gay guys actually marry and have kids without being in love with their spouses. And how do they pull it off for yearrs even? Can a gay man who does not want to live a gay life really just live a heterosexual one with no problems.. Any guys out there doing that ?? letss here how you do it?
Well, though this topic has generated quite a few responses, I'll add mine, having had some experience with this very recently.
I have long suspected that a retired friend of mine is gay, yet he is married (40-something years) with two children, one granddaughter, etc. About a year ago he started making interesting gestures toward me: hinting I might enjoy a nude yoga dvd, picking up a book for me on gay sex/relationships that he saw at a book faire, sending me links to self-published photo-books of nude men that he just "happened to find" while researching for his own book, etc.
One morning, he stopped by to show me the book he was working on (he's a photographer). I was shirtless and wearing gym shorts which were, of course, showing a decent bulge. We talked for a while and I looked at his book. Somehow, he ended up rubbing my shoulders. When I felt his crotch press into my butt and his fingers circles my nipples, I asked him, "What can I do for you?"
There were actually very few words spoken after that. I took him into a different room, closed the door and allowed him to strip me. I did ask him, "Are you
sure you want to do this?" He only nodded. Soon we were both naked and he was feeling me up, very pleased with my length and girth. (He was smaller than average, himself.) Moments later he was on his knees giving me a blowjob. I sat back in a chair and let him go to it, massaging his head and shoulders from time to time.
I asked if he wanted to have anal sex; I'd be willing to top him if that's what he was after. He said "no," and that even if he wanted to, he didn't think he could receive my cock. I smiled and said, "You'd be surprised." All the same, he just kept sucking my cock. The sounds he was making -- it was like decades of pent-up desire: moans, deep-throated grunts, heavy breathing, sighing.
In truth, I was erect, but not hot on this guy. Eventually, knowing that I was probably
not going to blow my own load -- that wasn't really what I was after; I simply wanted to give him what
he needed -- I had him stand up and turn around. I pressed my dick against his butt and reached around him to jerk him off. Within seconds he was groaning, spasming and shooting his wad. The man had a quick trigger!
"Is it okay if I don't cum?" I asked sincerely. He said it was. I helped him clean up and we both got dressed. I asked him how many times over the length of his marriage he had done something like this. He said, "Maybe six times, total." And he was pretty forward in telling me that this would be our "only time," which was fine with me...but which I kinda doubt. We'll see.
My point is this: there are SO many men in his generation (retired age now) who married because being gay was simply socially out of the question, and they have been well-closeted for decades. I'm sure that they come out for a tryst here and there, like this friend did with me, and like so many men who oogle me in airport and restaurant bathrooms. But to be quite honest, I'm very happy and even honored to be one of the guys that helps them do so. These men REALLY need a release! And I personally don't think it makes them worse husbands or fathers. They don't tend to abandon their families and become gay lovers, in my experience. Rather, they have their much-needed "fun" and then go back to life as usual until they need the outlet again. Is it an ideal lifestyle? I don't think so. Is it manageable for them? Apparently, yes.
This has been my experience with many, many,
many "straight, married men," especially in the older generations. I don't wish their situation on anyone, of course, but am happy to be someone they can turn to in moments of libidinous crisis.
True stuff here. 100%.