Do you think it's fair...

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Bluebiss01, Jan 11, 2009.

  1. Bluebiss01

    Bluebiss01 New Member

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    For my girlfriend to tell me she's got alot on her plate including having some further tests done as she might have ovarian cancer, to dump me straight after sharing that information with me?

    How can she expect me to walk away from her when something like that is going on in her life!?

    She said she doesn't want to put me through it all and wouldn't be able to "give me the attention I deserve".

    What the fuck am I supposed to do...

    She's the most amazing person I've ever met.

    :(
     
  2. jeff black

    jeff black <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    I'm betting she thinks it's easier for her to deal with this herself than to bring you down. People who get cancer have the tendency to try and isolate themselves in order to make themselves less of a burden to others.

    If you care about her, continue to be supportive. She will appreciate the fact you care enough to spend some time with her.
     
  3. goodwood

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    Oh Blue -
    I am sorry to hear of this.
    I suppose she has all kinds of expectations that she has set for herself and thinks that she will not be able to meet them.
    It's natural for her to feel this way and react as she has.
    A girlfriend i was engaged to was stricken with cancer as well. we broke up, but i loved her and i was at hospital when she wasn't in isolation (neutropenic).
    as much as she pushed me me away, she was thankful for my gentle kindness.
    wheteher you will end up with her or not remains to be seen, but your kindness and compassion, thought and care of and for her will be much appreciated.
    perhaps if you talk with her and let her know that if she doesn't want to be with you then that's ok, but regardless you will be a loving support for her to lean on with no strings attached.
    Prayers for her full recovery.
     
  4. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    As it's ovarian, she may feel that she's also less of a woman as she won't be able to carry children. Imagine you were facing castration and what that might do to your sense of masculinity. Jeff is right as well. Stick with her and let her know you love her. Don't let her isolate herself.

    If she does have ovarian cancer you may want to, at some point, remind her that she can have eggs frozen for future use if she risks losing both ovaries. That may be of some consolation to her.

    Good luck to you both.
     
  5. nudeyorker

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    She may be making "End of Life" decisions in her mind. The best advice I can give you is to talk to her and share your feelings and say that no matter what her decision is in regards to the two of you; you want to be there to support her no matter the outcome.
    My thoughts will be with both of you!
     
  6. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    Sorry to hear that it's happening, but I can see where she would want to isolate herself. Stick with her and let her know that you plan to stick with her.
     
  7. AlteredEgo

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    Everyone already said everything else, so I'll just add virtual hugs.
     
  8. Nala

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    I second that. :hug:
     
  9. D_Jared Padalicki

    D_Jared Padalicki Account Disabled

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    Be there, don't leave her. She is skocked now, but be there. She needs you and don't want to admit that! She don't want to hurts you, so see that as a postive act of her behavior. But be supportive. Don't give her upo because she said to do, then you would be an ass if you did.
     
  10. piratebulldog

    piratebulldog Member

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    My concern is that you first started this posting being all about you...You thought it unfair that she would dump you after sharing that she possibly is facing a terminal illness. What you thought was fucked up was the fact that she broke up with you not that the girl has cancer. Before you go to her again with all the support, care and love you can bring, make sure it all about her. She needs you to be fully there for her.
     
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