Do you think we will ever accept sexuality as fluid?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Rowan Ravenseed, Sep 14, 2008.

  1. Rowan Ravenseed

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    Ok, so I'm really bored with the posts I read on this forum where one guy accuses another guy of being less than straight because he's interested in cock, or the posts where one person be it male or female feels the need to state adamantly how 100% gay or straight they are (although you will note its usually a deceleration of how str8 they are).

    So I'm putting this out there to every-one.

    Do you ever think there will come a time when we can openly accept that sexuality is FLUID as opposed to being LOCKED?

    Can those of you out there that are 100% Gay or Straight ever see yourself looking at a member of the oppisite sex or same sex and saying "I can see something attractive in that person"

    For the longest time I believed I was gay and that was all there was too it....... I even stupidly and narrowmindedly allowed myself to believe that like so many gay men out there that womens parts were repulsive to me.

    Then i thought about bisexuals and asked myself was i being narrowminded.... was I allowing my sexuality to be influnced not by how i truly felt but by the peer group I had formed. So the next time i watched porn i watched some lesbian porn and found that womens bits didnt repulse me....and after having experinced cunninglingus and finding that I enjoyed it realised that maybe sexuality wasn't everything we've been led to believe it was.

    There are still factors (some i can name others i dont know) that lead me to believe I have a strong prefernce for men. The main one being when I imagine myself with some-one in the future I imagine it being a man.
     
  2. ohhhey

    ohhhey Member

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    I certainly hope so! I think we are very slowly moving in that direction, but it will probably still take a long time. People love to put themselves and others in little boxes.
     
  3. sam_solo26

    sam_solo26 New Member

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    Firstly who is "we"? Australians? Americans? Europeans? Middle-Easterners? Asians? Humans? (And so on and so forth.) Secondly, the idea of one's own sexuality can generally be said to be influenced at least in some way by social standards and environmental factors. There are entire books written about this stuff. If you're talking then about a universal acceptance of FLUID HUMAN SEXUALITY, then you must also generally be talking about the upheaval of thousands of different kinds of codes of conduct. Not only that, you'd also be talking about the burning of the security blanket (assured sexuality) for an insecure humanity. If sexuality is fluid, then how will we know who to be attracted to and how to act around them? (If you can't tell I'm being a little sarcastic :rolleyes:).

    The fact is people generally don't like to think for themselves. They want an authoritative figure to tell them what is right and wrong so they can gain the approval of that figure by doing the "right" thing. Fluid sexuality means that the boundaries of sexual behavior are broadened and obscured, and that people must push and explore their own boundaries to find them. They aren't dictated anymore. They are constantly subject to a person's own desires. This ambiguity scares people.

    Also, a point might be made about the sustaining of populations. If there isn't a stigma associated with being bisexual or homosexual, then there might be the perceived threat that guys would shack up with guys more and girls with girls, since they seem to get along better. This might then lead to the breakdown of the family structure which is the perceived best social-economic structure in which to raise a stable child. The legitimacy of such a series of claims probably can't be verified, but this is no doubt an obstacle for the universal or even regional acceptance of fluid sexuality. People who recognize this in themselves will be the outliers for a very, very long time I believe.
     
  4. killerb

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    Simple answer: NO

    As long as human beings remain human beings, there will always be those who have issues dealing with sexuality, as well as gender and race.
     
  5. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    I would hope that in time they would come around to it. But I don't see it in the near future, there is still too many unknowns for people to be comfortable with things going both ways of the spectrum.
     
  6. D_Chaumbrelayne_Copprehead

    D_Chaumbrelayne_Copprehead Account Disabled

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    I have hope for it, but maybe not in my lifetime.
     
  7. B_Hung Jon

    B_Hung Jon New Member

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    I've said this many times on this site and I do believe it. We don't actually find ourselves being attracted to one whole gender or another. I think we are attracted to specific women or men. So in a sense we're more fluid emotionally rather than just sexually. I may find another person attractive in the most superficial way but then when I get to know them, the attraction fades. It also depends on how other people relate to me for there to be true fluidity in all aspects of who I am.
     
  8. adam1177

    adam1177 New Member

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    I would say it will be the case in some cultures...western Europe and the US tend to be moving in this direction, and it frankly is so beautiful. I intend to raise my children that they should have no hesitation with picking a mate - black, white, male, female, whatever. If you are attracted to them, it's OK and nothing at all to be ashamed of.

    In a perfect world, men or women would be with the other sex for the purposes of procreation and then perhaps if sexual release is all they seek, there should be no hesitation in seeking a partner of either sex to that end. It's already been shown statistically that many many men have had same-sex experiences secretly (upwards of 30%), and if there wasn't such taboo around it, I have no doubt that number would be at least 50%, if not greater.
     
  9. marleyisalegend

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    This will fade away when heterosexuality is no longer viewed as the norm. The only TRUE straight people are those ONLY interested in the opposite sex. You can "experiment" but only for so long. People are desperate to ask "how far can I go and still be straight" because they're homophobic, they still want desperately to be seen as "normal."

    In NO OTHER FIELD so we have this problem. Nobody says "how much can I cook in a restaurant and not be called a chef?" By definition, if you cook for a restaurant, you're a chef. Of course that argument never comes up because "chef" is a title that people will except without squirming or thinking that it makes them abnormal.
     
  10. Captain Elephant

    Captain Elephant Active Member

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    I think this is more of a social issue than a mental one. Society has placed so many limits on sex and sexuality that it's litigated, legislated and moralized to where it's almost criminal to state your desires even when they are attuned to the mores of acceptable society.

    Personally, I don't dig guys, no offense. I just like the soft feel and curves.
     
  11. Corius

    Corius New Member

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    Role models are important to any society, but in the area of sexuality and sexual identiy too many folks "go with the flow" and allow themselves to be slotted along the lines of what is viewed as "normal". I and my peers thought of ourselves as normal and normally guys eventually got married.

    It is not often you will find young people who are uninhibited enough to break that mold. As a young male I learned that genuine friendship with another young male was something that I could sustain over a long period (the last two years of high school) and that that friendship could become genuine love and that that love could involve sexual activity which strengthened the bond between us. Later when I had opportunity to develop the same kind of friendship with a lady I embraced that as well and was enriched in my life by it.
    Before I met the lady I was willing to bet the rest of my life with I had five long-term relationships with both men and women. I did not cheat on any partner and today I freely admit to myself that I still sometimes find other persons, both male and female, as sexually attractive. But loyalty and faithfulness in relationship are also part of my approach. Though I know I could function with a male or a female partner, I honor the commitment I am in at the present.

    No, that does not mean I approve of those who insist on being free to have sexual realtionships on both sides of their sexuality and have it all going on at the same time.
     
  12. Gatling

    Gatling New Member

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    I believe, without doubt that the vast majority of people are either almost entirely gay or entirely straight.

    I have gay friends who, as youngsters, had things with girls but now tell me they could not get turned on physically by a woman under any circumstances. I believe them.

    I have straight friends who could never ever have any intimate relations with another man.

    The few of us that are genuinely bisexual mostly keep quiet about it because when we mention it to a member of either gender we are rarely believed or accepted.

    I think it very unlikely that society will accept a fluid view of sexuality.
     
  13. lorne

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    No, people will always have beliefs and personalities differing from others, no one will ever be all the same there may be bigger groups of likening thought but one will always be opposed by another just who we are.
     
  14. B_henry miller

    B_henry miller New Member

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    Society goes through phases with this. During Roman and Greek times it was fine for married men (married to women, that is) to have sex with other men.

    Maybe a better question is: "When did sexuality become a category for the entire identity of a human being?"

    The concept of gay, straight, bi, as an identity is new. It used to be seen as sexual behavior, not a form of personal/political identification.
     
  15. silvertriumph2

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    "HOPE is ETERNAL"....I hope, but somehow I doubt it.

    In the case of BIs, I doubt if acceptance will come, if
    ever. There is just too much to overcome. But, who
    knows. I never thought I would ever see, in my lifetime,
    the day that Gays would be accepted as they are today.

    The ideal would be that all humans, no matter their race,
    sex, religion, or social standing, should have the right to
    chose and love whomever they wish, with no restrictions
    or laws to impede their physical feelings for one another.

    Why do I feel this way?

    My 4 yr. marriage was ended, by meddling inlaws, because
    they did not want their daugter married to one not of their
    own race (Chinese). Since we were married in the South,
    their lawyer dug up an obscure law (1840), that "forbade
    marriage or co-habitation of persons of different races."
    My father-in-law was a very wealthy man and I did not have
    the means, as an instructor at university, to fight him in court.
    The marriage was eventually annulled by the court, separating
    me from my wife, the love of my life, and my son.
    My wife was unable to overcome the thousands of years of
    obedience by daughters to their fathers, and finally gave in
    to an arranged marriage to a man selected by the family.

    If anything, I hope this type of thing will never happen to
    another. So, let's hope things will change so that all can
    live free and be free to love those of their choice.
     
  16. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    Miscegenation was overturned by the Supreme Court in Loving v. Virginia in 1967. Are you saying this occurred prior to 1967? Have you done anything to fight this?

    Sorry ST, but this doesn't sound all that believable.

     
  17. silvertriumph2

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    I wish now that I had not written about such a personal
    part of my life that I don't usually reveal, but it just came out!
    Sorry you are such a skeptic!
     
  18. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    I'm not trying to insult you, just that it sounds like something out of a book. If it was the love of my life, I'd have moved to a state where it was legal for us to live and nobody would ever get me to terminate my parental rights to my son. I can understand being young and making bad decisions. I don't understand not fighting it now that you're older.
     
  19. D_Chocho_Lippz

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    I don't think anything is 100% sure in life, including ones sexuality.

    Hence my 99/1% mix.

    I think if one adamantly is 100% gay or straight, then I think they are hiding in some aspect, either consciously or subconsciously.

    With that said, I have many friends who claim they are repulsed at anything except penis to vagina intercourse.

    IMHO, of course.
     
  20. Principessa

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    No, I do not. For goodness sakes we just stopped viewing homosexuality as a mental illness 35 years ago! :12:

    In order to accept sexual fluidity or a sexual continuum you must accept ambiguity. Some people are able to do this but most are not, at least not in the USA.

     
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