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Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by Lordpendragon, Mar 16, 2006.
Do men have universal traits that you need / care/ want to understand?
I would love to gain a better understanding of men. Men say women are difficult to understand but I feel figuring out men is no simple task.
You're overthinking us. We are sinple creatures (As my wife says), comprised of three major components:
2 out of 3 gets you the guy.
3 out of 3 gets you the ring, after which you just have to make sure at least 2 of the 3 components are being satisfied.
I find that if you take care of all three, and take care of #1 too well, he will begin to wonder if he can do even better. I had one who took me ring shopping to find out what kind of jewelry I would be willing to wear for life (I don't wear much jewelry). My mistake was teaching him to cook. I should have left him ignorant and dependent upon my culinary skills. The lesson is, take care of all three, but make sure he needs you for all three until after you get the ring. (Tongue firmly in cheek)
No, seriously, to answer the original question: Penis.
My greatgrandmother (who raised me) taught me to cook, clean, wash, iron and keep house. She was adamant that when (and if) I married, it would be for love and companionship, and not (as her 8 brothers did) for the fact that I was unable to care for myself do those domestic tasks. I went to an all male college and the number of men who could not wash their own clothes or even make their own beds was, to me, astounding.
OK, I will admit my skills are "lame", but not that lame! At least I can look after myself. I'm amazed that some people can't even do that!
As for understanding men, well, the best way is to ask! I swear, I've given my soul over to my female workmates more than to any potential "wife material!"
I think it's best to need, care and want
to understand men on an individual basis,
Pen. Each guy is unique, with his own set
of quirks, as are we all...so it's another
one on one situation for me, same as the
Lex has it spot on as far as I can tell. This has been a huge reason (pun intended) for me being here. It's just fascintating to me to see how men's minds work, and it appears very different from women, but niether better nor worse.
If you want a guy to think you're great, feed him, fuck him, and ask him about himself constantly. He'll think you're brilliant and caring. HOWEVER, if you think he'll pick up on the hint and return to interest in YOUR life, you'll be sadly disappointed. I think the younger generations are doing better than the boomers and busters, and that's a very hopeful thing for everyone. However, in my generation, men's view of themselves as being superior is so pervasive that they don't even acknowledge it on a conscious level. They honestly see us as being non-productive and less intelligent. Of course, in many cases they're right.
Women and men won't truly understand each other until our lives become more similar and we have more experiences in common. As long as we earn less, command less respect, behave in emotionally immature ways, we will never be equals, nor can we hope to understand each other.
The other key to remember is that the male mind works NOTHING like the female mind. Mrs. Lexz and I bonded in college as I would give her the "what the guy is thinking" perspective (we were just good friends back then).
Men are, in effect, clueless. We are hunters and stalkers and, therefore, built to look for, recognize, and understand the obvious and blatant. All that female coyness just does NOT compute.
You think the hot guy knows you like him?
HE has NO CLUE you like him.
HINT: Did you TELL him?
You think "He should just KNOW what I want."
He has NO CLUE what you want.
HINT: Did you TELL him?
Those hints you drop, oh so subtly?
ZOOOOM!! Right over our heads.
You just want him to LISTEN? Don't bitch.
Cuz we are problem solvers. So if you tell us a problem, our brains tell us to FIX it.
You're jealous of his male friends?
Don't show it. Guys HATE it when they feel that their women are competing with their buds. It's not an EITHER/OR proposition--but a BOTH.
Too tired for Sex? Don't be.
You're giving us yourself shows us that we are worthy of you. It makes us feel attractive, wanted and manly. Witholding pisses us off and causes us to go fuck elsewhere. We don't wanna hear about your argument with your mother, but we (if we are smart) listen anyway.
Baby, how was YOUR day? is the most powerful phrase a man may ever learn.
Class is dismissed for now. The free trial period has passed. ;-)
P.S. I charge $300 a day to reform your sorry ass BF into the man of your dreams. There is a REASON my wife lets me have a BF.
Please believe it.
Honey, you need to write a book pronto! You're selling yourself short with the $300, I think most women in the world would love to have a book like that to follow their sorry-ass man around with! Besides, you've already GOT a wife and boyfriend, so it won't bother you a bit for all the other guys to get hassled. :tongue:
The three areas of fundamental human need was originally proposed by Aristotle. His theory was of a hierarchy of needs and the more developed a culture the higher their need goals on his list. Aristotle was the most boring philosopher of all time and I can't make it any more interesting.
I need a woman to engage me on an intellectual and emotional level - I don't care how good you are at other things - in time I will lose interest.
The same for me, with a man.:wink:
Huh, I'm familiar with Maslow's Heirarchy of Needs, but I didn't know Aristotle had his own system.
Maslow was the Polish Aristotle.
It's interesting that noone is looking at men beyond the bottom section of needs.
Maslow's hierarchy is far more developed than Aristotle's. Not that I have looked at either seriously for a very long time. But perhaps Maslow is the post Freudian Aristotle.
Chris Tucker can't understand Jackie Chan.
We covered Maslow's triangle recently at college. When one guy was asked if he felt he needed to reach "Transcendence", he said he didn't want directions to a cross-dressing rave... TRUE! lol
Lex's post has changed my life... wow! The three point plan to get a ring, what every girl wants!
this might be true for US women... lol... but not for women worldwide, if I may interfere...
anyway, my impression was always (and that has something in common with Lex's original post...) that the male brain mass always moves with the blood stream... if the guy is hungry, the only thing he can think of is getting something into his tummy... if the guy is horny, his brains sit where a lot of his blood streams to... :biggrin1: the rest of the time you have to take care of his ego
but all that doesn't necessarily have a connection to rings and such - at least for me as a Middle European woman
Last time I looked, Bath, where Kitten is from, was still firmly rooted in beautiful Somerset, South West England. Also I detect some humour in her post, Search4BP.