Do you usually feel uncomfortable around gay guys?

JayPR

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Do you usually feel uncomfortable around gay guys? I'm not just talking when you're at the gym's locker rooms or showers, but in general situations. And I'm not talking just about the overly flamboyant gay guy or the creepy stalker at the locker room, but any average man that you know or may think is gay.

I'm asking because, in college, I used to have a roommate that always was complaining when a gay guy was around, either in the dorms or if one of his girlfriend's gay friends were hanging out with the group. He was uncomfortable around them for some reason.

Anecdote: The other day, I was in a fitness forum and a guy was complaining about being in a sauna, and this openly gay guy started to talk with another straight guy there. He was feeling uncomfortable because the gay guy was talking about his "gay" life (nothing sexual and not even hitting on the guy), and then he didn't want to be checked out by the gay guy, so he left the sauna after he left.
 

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No. The gay guys I've known or know are just like any other guy. We chat or hang out etc, no problem.

The only ones who have made me uncomfortable are those annoying ones that got touchy feely when they talk to you. Like this one guy who had to stroke and hold on to my arms while chatting.
 

marriedasian

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i have no issues with being around gay guys. i have a few buddies who are openly gay and are by far the best people i have met, hands down. i find that most gay guys are very open about themselves and i can actually have a humanly conversation with them about any topics and not get all weird or awkward about. straight guys are weird sometimes when conversations represent stature or compeition, anyhow i digress.

there is one type of gay guy that i absolutely cannot stand... there is one in my life who is a friend of a friend of a friend of mine (who happens to be a lady). i don't know what happened to this guy. he's the flamboyant-very-feminine type... i have no issues with the guy as he is; my problem with this guy is that he is fucken reeks of pure NEGATIVE energy. anything i say or talk about is like i'm attacking him or that i'm offending him. he's like a fucken bat-shit-crazy male-feminist where if i said something, he'd automatically draw his own hateful conclusions of what i just said and then spew out some mean things back at me... WTF?

for example: a couple weeks back he showed up at a gathering. i happen to cross path with him and noticed he cut his hair so i said "did you cut your hair?"... he automatically gives me this condescending look and replies in a condescending tone "nice of you to have noticed, i've only had this cut for 3 weeks now"... and here i'm thinking to myself "seriously? i've not seen you for at least a month! i try to compliment you and you make me feel like i've been ignoring you? WTF is wrong with you?"... ugh... i don't get these people, like what happened to them? did someone hate on them so much that now they hate everyone?

example 2: same gathering as in example 1... later on i would run into him again and tried to strike up conversation so i say "so how's the dating scene for you?"... in return, again with a somewhat disgusted look, he goes "what do you care? you don't know what it's like to be a gay man in this gay-hate world. must be nice to be a good-looking guy and women chasing you all the time. it's so hard to find a nice man, they're either all sluts or taken"... okay then, i just smiled said "cool"... and walked away.

you guys get my drift here? this is the only gripe i have with this particular type of gay guy. other than that, i love them to death. my wife loves them too cause they both like to suck dick, hehe. :)
 

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I agree with marriedasian on his comments but I also apply this to any individuals who feel negative about life in general. There always individuals who are put upon and oppressed regardless, always ready to put forth the whoa is me story. I just cut them out of my life and avoid interaction with them whenever I can. Being around someone is about you liking being around them regardless of being "gay".
 

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Not at all. I worked on a team of analysts with a gay guy who was pretty much my work best friend, if there is such a thing. He was super knowledgeable, super helpful, and we got a lot done and had a lot of fun in the process. That was the first time I really spent an extended amount of time around a gay guy, that I knew of.
 

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. . . there is one type of gay guy that i absolutely cannot stand... there is one in my life who is a friend of a friend of a friend of mine (who happens to be a lady). i don't know what happened to this guy. he's the flamboyant-very-feminine type... i have no issues with the guy as he is; my problem with this guy is that he is fucken reeks of pure NEGATIVE energy. anything i say or talk about is like i'm attacking him or that i'm offending him. he's like a fucken bat-shit-crazy male-feminist where if i said something, he'd automatically draw his own hateful conclusions of what i just said and then spew out some mean things back at me... WTF?
I agree with marriedasian on his comments but I also apply this to any individuals who feel negative about life in general. There always individuals who are put upon and oppressed regardless, always ready to put forth the whoa is me story. I just cut them out of my life and avoid interaction with them whenever I can. Being around someone is about you liking being around them regardless of being "gay".
I totally agree with Reg. Negative people come in all stripes, not just gay. I, too, "just cut them out of my life." We've only got a certain amount of time on this earth. I try to make the most of it and don't waste my time with jerks.


As to the original question: In high school, I was somewhat homophobic. Fairly typical for a jock. I pretty much lost that when I went to college. My after-school employer was gay. He's like a second father to me, and his younger lover (my age) is one of my best friends.

The only time I feel uncomfortable around gays is when I get hit on. I'm pretty good-looking so it happens a lot. Normally, it's no problem. In fact, somewhat flattering. Where it gets to me is when they're persistent and won't take "no" for an answer. The "everyone's part gay, anyone can be had!" type. I've learned to take it philosophically. Now I know what a lot of women go through!
 
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not at all. The only time I'd ever feel uncomfortable is if I was being hit on aggressively after having asked him to stop.

I've been around and had plenty of conversations with gay men, and it's just like talking to any other person. I've been hit on, and been flirted with, and as long as it doesn't become aggressive, it can actually be quite flattering.
 

marriedasian

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The only time I feel uncomfortable around gays is when I get hit on. I'm pretty good-looking so it happens a lot. Normally, it's no problem. In fact, somewhat flattering. Where it gets to me is when they're persistent and won't take "no" for an answer. The "everyone's part gay, anyone can be had!" type. I've learned to take it philosophically. Now I know what a lot of women go through!

this has happened to me a few times and i had to literally push them away or one of my girlfriends would have to intervene. yes, women go through a lot of shit that we men have zero clue about.
 

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. . . or one of my girlfriends would have to intervene.
My wife thinks it's a scream. No sympathy from her. She just stands back and gets off watching me squirm. :D

A girl I dated from work a long time ago opined I perhaps enjoyed it too much!
 
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1284747

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I used to have a roommate that always was complaining when a gay guy was around, either in the dorms or if one of his girlfriend's gay friends were hanging out with the group. He was uncomfortable around them for some reason.

Anyone that vocally uncomfortable with being near gay people is A) a blatant homophobe, but more likely, B) unsure of their own sexuality and petrified of ever being thought of as that label so goes on offense to avoid ever needing to defend.
 

twoton

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No, I’m not uncomfortable, but a long time ago there had been a couple times when guys would not take ‘no’ for an answer when I was out at bars. One time my girlfriend (wife) had to take me out of the bar. It didn’t make me uncomfortable as much a piss me off and aggravate me.
 

lowhangers

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No. This summer I was a weekend with a gay frind on a city trip. We had one room.
Yes he saw me naked and I him.
He is max avarage and high hanging verry small balls.
In the morning we waked up both with a morningwood.
He was impressed of it.
We had a talk about balls en dicks. It was the first time he saw me naked. He told he alsways saw the bulge but he had no idee it all was so big. It was for him the first time he had seen a 7.5 cock.
 
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1284747

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No. This summer I was a weekend with a gay frind on a city trip. We had one room.
Yes he saw me naked and I him.
He is max avarage and high hanging verry small balls.
In the morning we waked up both with a morningwood.
He was impressed of it.
We had a talk about balls en dicks. It was the first time he saw me naked. He told he alsways saw the bulge but he had no idee it all was so big. It was for him the first time he had seen a 7.5 cock.

wish I had friends like this lol
 
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In general terms no.

In the physical sense not at all.

Not often but there are instances (again very dependent upon the individual), however when some gay guys take shit to a new level and have to steer every conversation point the fact they are gay. In most cases it's just awkward, but every once in a while it's like you just want to say "Steve, we got it; now shut the fuck up and let us continue".
 

HOU_HEADHUNTER

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I try to carry myself with class and not let my sexuality be the first thing that someone thinks of me. I understand that my day to day life is mostly in the company of straight men so I would hate to be the odd one out that makes someone else uneasy. None of my straight associates have given me any kind of indication that they would be uncomfortable with my sexuality but I do know that people will sometimes pretend to be okay with but will secretly have an issue with it. I think I've been more uncomfortable than the straight guys that I've been around because sometimes the convos can relate to heterosexual men and what they do with women and in those cases I am awkward and it can be observed that I am queer. Groups of men can really be intimidating for me. For instance going to the barbershop used to cause some anxiety for me. Luckily for me I was able to steer clear of any topics of discussion by putting my headphones on or reading something to avoid the pressure to join the convo.