Does aggressiveness = selfishness?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Jovial, Dec 20, 2007.

  1. Jovial

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    Are people that aggressively seek sexual partners more selfish? I would think yes.

    I'm very unselfish so I feel like why should I go out of my way to convince someone to be with me? Seems like someone that really just wants to get off and doesn't care about their partner would be more aggressive trying to have sex.

    If I'm correct then this would skew people's impressions of how selfish most people are. They would tend to see more of the aggressive selfish people. What do you think?
     
  2. bek2335

    bek2335 New Member

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    Jovial: I'm not sure, but I think you may be right. Generally, aggressive people are not thinking about the rights or feelings of others. So it makes sense that such a thing would apply to sexual situations as well. Aggression and empathy/sensitivity seem to be mutually exclusive.
     
  3. B_Cegro27

    B_Cegro27 New Member

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    Aggressive people are generally selfish...they go after what "they" want. Then, of course, once they get it they're not interested in it anymore. I admit, I get that way too sometimes, but only when I'm mega-horny:) When I'm my normal self I'm actually quite passive, at least until someone curses at me or cuts me off in traffic...but anyway, there's nothing wrong with being "assertive" when one is looking for a sexual partner or a relationship. After all, you'll never get what you want if you sit on your butt and wait for it to come to you.
     
  4. bek2335

    bek2335 New Member

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    cegro, I agree. What you point out, without spelling it out, is that there is a distinct difference between being assertive and aggressive.
     
  5. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

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    I think there is nothing wrong with someone being aggressive/assertive in getting what they want. It is selfish if they aren't informing the other person it is only sex they are after, but if both partners are have the same understanding then NO.. Nothing selfish about that
     
  6. B_RedDude

    B_RedDude New Member

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    If you think this seriously about how unselfish you are, maybe you ARE self-absorbed!

     
  7. dudepiston

    dudepiston New Member

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    Yeah well, if I had Jovial's body, I'd be self-absorbed too!


    Just kidding. I don't think he's into himself at all. Quite the opposite. I think he's just asking a question.

    But my opinion is....aggression and selfishness probably don't always go hand-in-hand. A very aggressive person might be desperate and unwise - acting upon those types of emotions is really not in the 'self's' best interest so it really can't be said they're selfish. 'Needful' might be a better term...



     
  8. Jovial

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    You may be correct to some extent :redface:, but I think there are others that are more self-absorbed.

    The irony is if someone was truly unselfish, then they would be more aggressive in wanting to give to someone. I guess I'd say I just want to give and take equally, so I want to meet a partner halfway. Not be too aggressive or too unaggressive.

    (Hi dp)
     
  9. B_RedDude

    B_RedDude New Member

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    Dude, I'm sorry I was so quick to judge you -- from your response/explanation you sound like a well-balanced guy -- plus, I just looked at your photos, and your HOT! -- love that nice long body of yours

    Dudepiston is right, you're entitled to a little self-absorption

     
  10. Jovial

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    Don't worry about it and thanks for the compliment. :biggrin1:
     
  11. SpeedoGuy

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    The vast majority of people are selfish in one degree or another. That's not to say most people are bad but if you think about it, very, very little happens on this planet without some element of self interest being a contributing motivating factor.

    On the other hand, I see aggression, sexual or otherwise, as the epitome of selfishness gone over-the-top. Aggressive people tend feel perfectly free to run roughshod over anyone or anything to satisfy their whims. The end justifies the means, in other words. That's not an ethic that appeals to me.
     
  12. The Dragon

    The Dragon New Member

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    I think there is a time and a place for aggressiveness.
    I can be very aggressive to the point of ripping clothes and shredding underwear , but there has never been a time where I didn't write out a cheque to pay for the clothes I've destroyed.
    My partners pleasure is of paramount importance to me.
    It is possible to be aggressive and wild and be totally into getting your partner off.
     
  13. viking1

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    You can rip my clothes off anytime you want...:biggrin1:


    Some types of aggression are definitely selfishness coming out. Other types really aren't. It depends on the situation.
     
  14. hotguy8884

    hotguy8884 New Member

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    I couldn't agree more, Viking.

    I consider my self a fairly selfish person in most respects, although, I would never, EVER consider myself agressive.

    Rob <3
     
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