Does anyone here do Renaissance Faire stuff?

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by basincreek, Nov 14, 2010.

  1. basincreek

    basincreek New Member

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    I've only been to a few myself. They tend to be good fun until people start taking them seriously and actually wishing they could live in the past.

    In that vein here is something I wrote called: A Diary From the Most Realistic Renaissance Fair Ever!

    This is going to be great. I have always loved these things. Gosh, that was the longest liability waiver form I've ever signed though. What in the hell is Yersinia pestis?

    Day 1: Well, they've assigned me to work in some field. That doesn't sound like much fun, I can't wait for the first feast! Man these clothes are really uncomfortable. I've been given some sort of realistic wife.....she's missing some teeth....and doesn't really have the heaving bosoms I thought I'd be seeing everywhere.

    Day 3: No feast yet and I keep working in the field for some nobleman or something. Supposedly this is just so I have permission to work my own field which the nobleman also owns. That sounds like the crappiest deal ever.

    Day 5: Very tired from the work and I stink. I asked where some showers were located and was told that bathing is evil.........I think this explains why everyone covers up so much in these godawful clothes.

    Day 12: Supposedly we're simulating some famine. I'm eating this horrible mush stuff I call wheat puke. My.....erm.....wife seems to be several months pregnant already. There'd damned well better be some sort of great feast after all this.

    Day 22: Famine continues. Knights are jerks! They're supposed to like be all chivalrous but all they do is bully us around and rape the women. They killed a man out in a field just to watch him die. I'm wondering if I should have read all that fine print in the liability form.

    Day 42: Famine is over! Fake wife seems to be really pregnant, may be more along than I thought. Learned a lesson today: apparently it's really bad to insult the religious guys in the funny clothes. Learned a new word today too: scourging!

    Day 73: Still no feast. Really tired and bored. Wish there were books to read....or some games to play....or anything to do except be miserable all the time.

    Day 84: Wife gave birth! Doctor didn't wash his hands even though I'm pretty sure he was cutting something nasty up before. That doesn't seem right. He laughed at the idea of "germ" like tiny things that can kill you though.

    Day 87: Wife's dead. Apparently this frequently happens after child birth here.

    Day 91: Baby is dead. No one knows why. They just shrug and say, "kids die a lot!" I note that most of the plots in the cemetery are small....baby size small.

    Day 102: Some sort of pestilence has taken root. Lots of coughing up blood and vomiting.

    Day 112: The mortality is still with us...nothing seems to stop it....the doctor is dead himself.

    Day 115: One third of the village is dead. Some think God is angry. It was decided to avenge this by getting the Jews but it turns out none were stupid enough to sign up for this thing. We burned Mormons at the stake instead.

    Day 119: God has forsaken us. We must have lost our way! To show that we no longer burn people at the stake for religious reasons we burned the guy that suggested it at the stake himself.

    Day 122: Half the village is dead but things may be turning around. Blacksmith thought it would be funny to have a "Bring out the Dead" cart. We found this not amusing so we broke him on a wheel.

    Day 131: The Disease is gone but now we're simulating another freaking famine!

    Day 143: New Famine is over. A nobleman has shown himself for the first time only to complain I didn't produce enough crops! What a dick!

    Day 148: Finally, at long last, a freaking feast! It is so on! I can't wait to taste meat agai.......that's a strange army out there in the east. What is that? A crescent on their flag? Allah? Oh shit........................
    Dear Family of Robert A Greerson. It is our contractual obligation to inform you that the aforementioned did not make it to the end of the fabulous fantasy simulation he signed up for. He is buried in the mass grave outside the village along with everyone else that wasn't captured and forced into slavery in the east.
     
  2. petite

    petite New Member

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    I've only been once, way back in high school and I vaguely remember it being fun.

    That was pretty funny! I like your sense of humor.

    So give me a clue, what's a "Yersinia pestis"?
     
  3. Industrialsize

    Staff Member Moderator Gold Member

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    It is the name of the bacterium that is the cause of bubonic Plague.(I'm a registered nurse)
     
  4. petite

    petite New Member

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    Oh!

    Is the bubonic plague still around? :confused:
     
  5. basincreek

    basincreek New Member

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    Oh yeah. We have it in squirrels in my neck of the woods.
     
  6. nudeyorker

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    I love your writing basincreek, but to answer your question no I have not been to a Renaissance Festival. One of the few times in my life where I've been able to say... "I have nothing to wear!"
    I read a book by Paul Ruditis that was part of the "Drama" series that almost made it very compelling but alas no.
     
  7. zaragoza

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    No,i haven't,but i think it'd be interesting.
     
  8. basincreek

    basincreek New Member

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    My friends are way more into it than I am. They dress up and stuff. They always seem to think they'll meet a gal there that's single but it never seems to happen.
     
  9. whatireallywant

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    I've been wanting to go but haven't had the money. Interestingly, I actually DO have something to wear! I bought it back when I had considerably more money than I do now.

    As for Basincreek's writing, that's more like how the Renaissance REALLY was! While I would love to go to a Renaissance Faire, I definitely prefer living in the modern world, with greater human rights, modern medicine, conveniences, stuff like that.

    Oh, and from what I gather, bubonic plague actually IS still around, but now there's a cure for it. (Did I mention how I like modern medicine!)
     
  10. Industrialsize

    Staff Member Moderator Gold Member

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    Unfortunately, The bubonic plague is alive and well in many third world countries. Luckily, it is totally treatable if caught.
     
  11. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    There are always going to be a few that take things a little too seriously, just like in any other community of people. Thankfully it isn't real, or things would be more like they are in your writing!


    ROFL :biggrin1:


    There is something seriously cool about people who know what Yersinia pestis is!


    It's actually surprisingly easy to make your own, even if you've never touched a sewing machine before.


    Hey! You didn't tell me you have friends who are into it!

    We don't have Ren Faires here, but as I've already told you, I do medieval recreation. And it would be a GREAT place for you to meet a girl!!!

    As a girl that's single, I've met (read screwed) quite a few men at events - I've only slept in my own tent twice. I've also seen many other people get together at events. A fair few people I know have met people at events, then gotten married and had kids together. My brother (who is notoriously bad at reading signals and used to be terribly shy with women) has fucked girls at events and has even had a long term girlfriend he met through his local group.

    The trick is, you have to hang around for more than a few minutes and get to know people. There's no point in just going to one event and thinking it was a flop (meeting women wise). You need to become a regular and get comfortable with people (and let them get comfortable with you).


    From what I've heard, Ren Faires are pretty easy going about what people wear. If you ever decide to go to an event run by a specific group, check to see if your clothing is appropriate. What seems medieval to many people, is often not as medieval as you think and some groups are REALLY fussy.

    If you're interested in this sort of thing but don't have much money, check out the group I'm a part of. They have local branches nearly everywhere (especially in the US). Events tend to be cheap, and weekly get togethers of various kinds tend to be free.

    Society for Creative Anachronism, Inc.
     
  12. B_Hickboy

    B_Hickboy New Member

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    I have heard that smoking a lot of pot makes a person tend to take things too literally, as do schizophrenia and some kinds of traumatic brain injury. Sometimes a low IQ, especially compounded by one of the aforementioned factors, can completely disable a person's ability to perceive irony, sarcasm, or satire, and rob her or him of the capacity to see the humor in a non-sequitur.
     
    #12 B_Hickboy, Nov 15, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 15, 2010
  13. RawDog

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    I had no idea you're in the SCA! A few hours ago when I mentioned my ex was a Rennie, I wanted to mention about being invited to the local SCA several times. They said they needed a fighter like me for the Estrella war. Tempting, but it would've been too much of a time drain. SCA people seem more my cup of tea than the Rennies.
     
  14. hairyman101

    hairyman101 New Member

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    I have a hard enough life in this time period!!
     
  15. petite

    petite New Member

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    Okay, I was so ignorant that I thought that Rennies were SCA people. I didn't realize that there was a difference.
     
  16. basincreek

    basincreek New Member

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    I've read about the SCA on TV Tropes.

    Haven't heard about TV Tropes?

    Be careful it may suck you in and you never leave.

    Here's a sample page.
     
  17. JustAsking

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    basincreek,
    That was very good. A succinct slice of brutish medieval life.

    For more information I recommend reading A World Lit Only By Fire, by Wm Manchester.

    As for the SCA, I had a friend in that years ago. He said their motto was, "Reenacting medieval life, not as it was, but as it would have been if they had duct tape."
     
  18. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    And I had no idea your ex was a Rennie until that post in the other thread! You would sooo make a good heavy fighter. With your height and martial arts background you would be fantastic!

    Plus I would love to see you in some Viking gear :biggrin1: (I have a thing for Vikings).


    Some Rennies are also SCAdians, and some SCAdians do Ren Faires etc. Does that make things any clearer?


    ROFL :biggrin1: The more usual saying is 'Recreating the Middle Ages as they should have been' but I like this version better. For those who haven't seen SCA weapons, the duct tape saying may make more sense once you've seen this:

    http://www.sca.org/officers/media/images/charge_lg.jpg
     
  19. RawDog

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    Thanks! I do so love hitting people, but carrying a refrigerator door in the process seemed like too much work. I would rather fight Florentine style.

    You have a vivid imagination. I'll be the first 6'6" Asian viking on record.
     
  20. helgaleena

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    A friend of mine made quite a good living selling her costumes at Ren faires. Akaik she still does.

    She sells during open-air craft markets between times.
     
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