Does cumming = good sex?

[Jovial]

If you have an orgasm during sex does that mean it was good or can you cum and still think it was bad sex?

 

[D_Jared Padalicki]

I guess you can cum and still think it was bad. Good sex is also about the interaction, not only busting a nut I believe.

 

[Principessa]

If you have an orgasm during sex does that mean it was good or can you cum and still think it was bad sex?

I was under the impression that anytime a man ejaculated it was good sex fo him. Apparently this is not true, as I have learned here.

Personally, I don't orgasm easily, so if I do it's because of good sex. FWIW: I don't usually orgasm if I'm not in love; but I can still have great acrobatic sex.

 

[kontolbejat]

If I cum too fast, I think it's a bad sex because I am not "exhausted" yet. Worse, the lady definitely feels disappointed because she is less likely to get her first orgasm.

 

[B_625girth]

I can still cum and call it bad sex. some women just lay there, and if that's the case, I'll just go into overdrive, thrust my cock at warp speed, cum and probably not stick around long, and never come back.

good sex is about being into each other, enjoying each other, going slow, both working together for a mutually satisfying experience. that's what makes a person a good lover.

 

[D_Tina_Ciao]

Yes, being a good lover involves a lot more - it's an investment of self to the point of being selfless, making certain the other person is as or more satisfied with whatever you do together and separately to enhance the experience and make it as rich as possible, This does NOT mean a slam bam, thank you maam, sexual encounter. Good lovers care about their partner, and are not afraid to show it.

 

[Corius]

One's partner"s satisfaction surely has to be included in good sex.

Of course, one's "cummings" in solo sex is also part of one's sex life.

Premature "cumming" seems to continue to ruin the hope for good sex for many men.

So, the safe answer to the question whether cumming equals good sex would seem to be: not necessarily.

 

[anoushka]

I think choosing to make an orgasm the focus of sex with a partner is a sure way to have bad sex - at least measured by what I value at this time in my life.

Shared experience and resonance on sensory, emotional, cognitive, intuitive, and spiritual levels of conscious awareness - such that boundaries of self are dissolved with my partner - that's good sex to me.

 

[_avg_]

I like the reverse of this question better: "Does NOT cumming = BAD sex?"

I feel like I've failed if I don't get the girl off, but if I've done that, then I don't need to get off, myself so. . .. :shrug:

 

[D_Jerry_Atric]

Not necessarily, many men including myself get off on orgasm/ejaculation control and denial.

 

[Sm1thy37]

I can usually cum even if the sex isn't great, and sometimes when I muck up I cum too early, that isn't good either.

Good sex is a mix of great foreplay, amazing passionate sex which ends in both of you cumming at the same time

 

[Belly_Dancer]

For me, it's possible to:

1) Enjoy the sex and come
2) Enjoy the sex, but not come
3) Not particularly enjoy the sex, but come anyway
4) Not enjoy the sex, and not come

I believe the OP was talking about #3.

That said, even though I'm perfectly fine with not always having an orgasm, I'll admit I have a deep-seated insecurity about the man not climaxing. Even if in reality it has nothing to do with me, my emotions still interpret it as a sign that the man just isn't that into me.

One other thing I'll mention is that although I can come from less-than-optimal sex, I find that when I do, my orgasm is generally less-than-optimal as well; it's less intense, less prolonged...kind of like my body's just getting it over with so I'll stop stimulating it already and move on to something more interesting.

 

[nicenycdick]

I can remember times when a less than enthusiastic partner made it seem appropriate to cum sooner rather than later...I never enjoyed that.

 

[B_Mister Buildington]

It can be great sex for me, even if I don't cum, as long as she has a few good ones. What's an orgasm here or there? I have plenty. And to give is better than to receive.

 

[Wish-4-8]

Sometimes its the journey, not the destination. Teh destination does not have to be orgasm. Cumming is only part of it. And in my opinion, sex is not over at the orgasm.

 

[Aplus]

Sometimes its the journey, not the destination. Teh destination does not have to be orgasm. Cumming is only part of it. And in my opinion, sex is not over at the orgasm.

Oh I totally agree about the journey part. In my case, the destination rarely ends in orgasm anyway, so not sure I'd truly know. Getting there is more than half the fun for me though.

 

[DonJuanDeShenzhen]

The more she comes the better the sex.

If I come it's just the end of the sex. Says nothing about the quality.

However, the more I delay my orgasm the more intense and better it becomes.

 

[BBB2.5]

For me, I do not need to cum in order for sex to be good. I am 100% bottom. My pleasure comes from within, the deeper the better.....lol

:tongue:

 

[Jovial]

That said, even though I'm perfectly fine with not always having an orgasm, I'll admit I have a deep-seated insecurity about the man not climaxing. Even if in reality it has nothing to do with me, my emotions still interpret it as a sign that the man just isn't that into me.

I think a lot of women share your insecurity about the man not climaxing. Do women think "oh, he came, so the sex must have been good for him"?

I don't think you should focus on this too much during sex, though, because seeing you orgasm during sex can push a man over the top. So focus on your own pleasure a bit too. :wink:

 

[D_Pubert Stabbingpain]

If you have an orgasm during sex does that mean it was good or can you cum and still think it was bad sex?

You can cum and it is *real* bad sex but you cum just to get off and get it over with and get the hell out of there!

For JO, "cum" and "orgasm" are 2 separate events and I have cum without an orgasm and that is BAD. When that happens I will jack again quickly to force an orgasm.