Does having sex on your first date spoil your chances for a monogamous relationship?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by rrkrd, Jun 2, 2010.

  1. rrkrd

    rrkrd Member

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    My partner and I had the hottest sex (fucking like rabbits all night) that we both had ever had, the first night we met. We moved in together less than 3 months. Weve been together over ten years in a monogamous relationship. Our friends said it wouldnt last!

    We were both promiscuous before we met and both of us have had lots of chances to be unfaithful to each other . Like most relationships we have had our ups and downs but we have remained true to each other.

    Do you like our friends think sex on the first date discourages the ongrowth of a solid relationship in most cases, or does the sexual chemistry become the foundation to an on going relationship?
     
  2. petite

    petite New Member

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    I think it can ruin chances of a LTR if you just met one another. If you already know each other well and it's a "first date" in the sense that you have just embarked on a new romantic relationship, I don't think it makes a difference.
     
  3. thetramp

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    To me it makes no difference, if i want just the sex i want just the sex, if i want more i want more. If i am interested in a more serious relationship i will not run away just because i got to score early.
     
  4. exwhyzee

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    At the very least it seems to have increased the chances that you would have great sex during your relationship. Seems you both were compatible. Sounds like love at first boink.
     
  5. B_Hickboy

    B_Hickboy New Member

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    I'd say no.
     
  6. ManlyBanisters

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    I'd agree.
     
  7. B_Mademoiselle Rouge

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    It's no less or more likely to affect monogomy as waiting until the 5th or 50th date to have sex. You could wait until you are married and still marry someone who has affairs or wants blowjobs from prostitutes.

    There aren't rules, because relationship "rules" suck at predicting the future. You could promise all sorts of things and get your balls licked tomorrow by some broad and you'd marry someone else who doesn't even suck dick because she makes a mean apple pie.
     
  8. HiddenLacey

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    I have no idea since I haven't experienced this. I honestly do not know if it would impact a future relantionship with that person.
     
  9. nudeyorker

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    No sleeping with someone on the first date will not ruin your chances. What does ruin your chances is sleeping with someone else after you have committed to a monogamous relationship.
     
  10. petite

    petite New Member

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    I'm not concerned about the man not being interested in me because I was easy, I'm concerned about my interest in him. And I'm not concerned about any sort of morality or game playing either, it's just seems to be the nature of my heart. Things just doesn't seem to work out the same way if I have sex with him too soon.

    When there's more time between the time when I first feel the desire to have sex with someone and when I actually have sex with him, that anticipation always heightens all of my emotions and the experience for me, especially if as I get to know him I discover that we're more and more compatible or that our personalities really mesh well together.

    Every single truly memorable romance I've ever had was one where there was lots of longing and anticipation and unfulfilled desire before we finally ended up together.

    TheBoyfriend sometimes teases that there were 3 months from the moment we met and when we slept together when we could have been having sex. I wanted to hop into bed with him the very first moment I met him, but I didn't. By the time we had our first date, we had been friends for a while, and we'd spoken on the phone for hours every night for a month. I've never been more excited before a date before in my entire life, and I wouldn't have had that experience if I'd just slept with him the first chance I had (or the 2nd, or 3rd, or 4th...) I did sleep with him on the first date, but by that point, we knew each other very well.

    I wouldn't wish for our romance to have happened any other way! It was perfect. I truly believe that all that longing and anticipation did make it all so much better.
     
  11. B_Mademoiselle Rouge

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    My last boyfriend we waited 27 months before having sex. We wanted to, played around a lot, just tried to wait as long as we could before actually having sex. I'd say it was sweet between the both of us but in no way affected how it ended or where his life is now without me. I thought we were going to get married, have babies, the whole nine yards. And after waiting that long...who would imagine it would never happen.

    Then there are those people who get married very soon after meeting and it works out to be a lifetime together. It has a lot more to do with how to manage day to day monotony and battle the boredom of it all to keep from doing things outside of your relationship and stay interested in one another.
     
  12. exwhyzee

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    Care to share? :wink:
     
  13. Bbucko

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    First of all, congrats on ten great years. I sincerely hope you have another fifty more.

    However, to address the question quoted above, I find that profoundly committed relationships come from a deep-seated emotional need for them. You each are lucky that your needs and goals are so similar, and that your outlooks on the steps required to maintain and nurture such a relationship are so very similar.

    Your intense sexual chemistry and compatibility is the cherry on the whipped cream of the sundae. It might be a wonderful artifact or side-effect from your similar emotional needs, but it's not really their catalyst.
     
  14. cbrmale

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    I think a good healthy sexual attraction from day one bodes well for a good and healthy sex life over the years and decades. A good and healthy sex life means less likely to stray. The ones who do stray often don't have strong sexual attractions to one-another, and their sex lives are less than spectacular as a result. Not satisified, they search for someone who will give them what they know is missing.
     
  15. D_Fiona_Farvel

    D_Fiona_Farvel Account Disabled

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    No, a few (*ahem*) of my LTRs began with sex on the first date. Current LTR included. Pretty much agreeing with everything already said, and join B in wishing you many more happy years together! :)
     
  16. cdog204

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    I'd love to say no, but my experiences tell me that the sex on the first date relationships never do work out. But I'm really not a relationship guy at this stage in my life. I also find having sex with a new woman to be extremely exciting, so monogamy is problematic too.
     
  17. Rowan Ravenseed

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    Ok so i have some questions

    Your original question is doese sex on the first date discourage monogamy in the relationship, then you go on to ask if sex on the first date discourages the chance of a stable relationsip.

    Are you meaning to imply that Monogamy is the only option available for stable relationships?

    If so why do you believe that?

    I'm also curios to find out what motivates your decision to be faithful to your partner?

    Is it becuase you believe that monogamy is the only way you can have a stable relationship?

    Did you and your partner ever discuss the option of an open relationship or was it just assumed that you would both be monogamous?
     
  18. Reese

    Reese New Member

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    rrkrd~

    My partner & I had extremely hot sex within 20 minutes of meeting face to face for the first time (we'd been speaking on-line for the 6 months prior, though, but I lived 5,000 miles away until that fateful first meet up). That was nearly a decade ago. We got married 4 years later, celebrated our 5th anniversary within the past year and are as happy, secure and stable as ever.

    Like yourselves, she was profoundly promiscuous in the past (one night, we decided to tally up her past sexual partners, stopping at a little over 80 because she could no longer remember all the others' names). I, on the other hand, could count my prior sex partners on one hand with fingers to spare. Unlike yourselves, though, she remained totally promiscuous (I've always found that to be a rather sexy quality in a girl anyway, tbh) and, now, so am I!

    However, our mutual promiscuity is something that we only act on together, as a couple, and never apart from each other, so negative and unnecessary emotions like jealousy don't figure into the equation of our relationship. I thoroughly enjoy watching her fucking others and vice versa, but the best (and most frequent) is when we all participate as a three- or foursome.

    I realise this may be a bit of kilter from your original question, but I just wanted to interject that, in some cases, it is possible to have a stable and secure relationship - and even a marriage - without losing the promiscuous element.

    Cheers,
    ~Reese! :~)
     
  19. SparkyNYC

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    nope, fucked on the first date once and got stuck with the guy for 7 yrs
     
  20. AlteredEgo

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    This is pretty much my feelings on the matter. However, I have sometimes held out sexually with men I wanted to pursue for more than sex, because it's just the truth that many men do not seem willing to consider a woman for more than just sex if they get to hit early.

    On the other hand, I sucked my husband off during our first date. I would have fucked him too, but he was overwhelmed.
     
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