Does having sex on your first date spoil your chances for a monogamous relationship?

petite

Expert Member
Joined
Mar 3, 2010
Posts
7,199
Media
2
Likes
146
Points
208
Sexuality
No Response
Gender
Female
This is pretty much my feelings on the matter. However, I have sometimes held out sexually with men I wanted to pursue for more than sex, because it's just the truth that many men do not seem willing to consider a woman for more than just sex if they get to hit early.

On the other hand, I sucked my husband off during our first date. I would have fucked him too, but he was overwhelmed.

It's not just men.

It's not a conscious decision or anything like that. I wouldn't disrespect a man because I had sex with him early on, but my heart just doesn't become engaged the way it does if I get to know him first before we have sex. The same emotions just don't develop with me.

I'm not talking about 27 months like Mlle. Rouge and her ex-boyfriend! I haven't gone more than 3 months without sex since I've turned 18, so I'm obviously not averse to casual sex at all and I'm obviously not talking about waiting for very long before having sex together, but I rarely seem to actually fall in love when the relationship just starts out being about sex. It just seems to be the nature of my heart.
 

Tattooed Goddess

Worshipped Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Oct 17, 2007
Posts
14,088
Media
70
Likes
20,572
Points
668
Location
United States
Verification
View
Sexuality
60% Straight, 40% Gay
Gender
Female
It's not just men.

It's not a conscious decision or anything like that. I wouldn't disrespect a man because I had sex with him early on, but my heart just doesn't become engaged the way it does if I get to know him first before we have sex. The same emotions just don't develop with me.

I'm not talking about 27 months like Mlle. Rouge and her ex-boyfriend! I haven't gone more than 3 months without sex since I've turned 18, so I'm obviously not averse to casual sex at all and I'm obviously not talking about waiting for very long before having sex together, but I rarely seem to actually fall in love when the relationship just starts out being about sex. It just seems to be the nature of my heart.

Lemme tell ya, knowing then what i know now...i would have just fucked him instead of waiting that long. It made no difference. It probably just made the miserable relationship last much longer than it should have.
 

Lex

Expert Member
Joined
Jun 11, 2004
Posts
8,253
Media
0
Likes
118
Points
268
Location
In Your Darkest Thoughts and Dreams
Sexuality
99% Gay, 1% Straight
Gender
Male
I don't think it matters. Nudeyorker and Bbucko really summed it up. Keeping a relationship going takes energy, effort, mutual goals, and desire--these must be the foundation upon which steamy, hot sex can be lain.

My hubby and I had sex when we first spent time together after meeting online. That was over 3 years ago and I wouldn't change a thing.

...

On the other hand, I sucked my husband off during our first date. I would have fucked him too, but he was overwhelmed.

Well, what did you expect? He was overwhelmed by your bodaciousness!!
 

D_Tina_Ciao

Account Disabled
Joined
Feb 17, 2009
Posts
1,000
Media
0
Likes
37
Points
123
Sexuality
No Response
Can't really offer much because of limited experience, but for me, there has to be love first BEFORE sex or the sex doesn't have meaning - this stems from being married to a man I loved as a friend *only* for 31 years and I will NEVER do that again. Gotta be strong 2-way chemistry (I find guys attracted to me but I'm not attracted to them) for which I'm still looking.......(ergo, can't really have sex on a first date if there's no love). Oh, I do believe in love at first sight......
 
Last edited: