Does he not want to see me anymore, why is he acting this way?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by eyescream, Jan 10, 2010.

  1. eyescream

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    My FB and I have always been pretty good friends. We had a slight argument about a month ago and we stopped talking for a short while due to the awkwardness.

    We've started seeing each other again. This time though, he never contacts me when he wants to do it. But he's always able to make it when I want to do it. In fact, he will travel for miles just to do it with me.

    What could have happened there? I asked him why he hasn't tried to get in touch with me for a whole month (the fact that he's willing to travel so far the minute I tell him to come over - seems to me he wants it as bad as I do).

    His answer was that the new year just started and he assumed I was quite busy. I am, but I'd always make time for him.

    Could it be he wants to stop this sexual relationship but doesn't know how to tell me? I will be leaving the country permanently in a few weeks and I don't really want to stop seeing him but if it's what he wants then I'll back off.

    Am I reading too much into this? Could it be that he really just thought I was busy with things?

    Has anyone been in this situation or perhaps guys in here could tell me what would make a guy act this way?
     
  2. ManlyBanisters

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    Sounds like this is more than a FB situation for one or both of you.

    Are you being totally honest with yourself about what you want from this? I may be reading between the lines here and coming up with something that isn't there but that just doesn't read like a FB arrangement question to me.
     
  3. max90

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    Could be a few things. Maybe he's just to shy to call you, but does want to take the oppurtunity if you give him a call.
    Could be that he has some other FB nearby, so why would he give you a call instead of his FB nearby?
    If you and him are just fuckbuddies, you should know that it can be over just like that. Don't read to much into it, but it's good to consider what's on his mind.
     
  4. eyescream

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    Yup, we are just fuckbuddies. But again, we are also friends and have been friends for several years.

    That makes sense.
     
  5. Joo

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    That sucks eyescream. Many years ago I had a FB. I loved the freedom it gave me as regards to the commitment side of the arrangement. It even helped our friendship become stronger. I really hope you get your head around his behaviour especially before you move away.

    Let us know how things pan out hun.
     
  6. eyescream

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    Thanks Joo. Right now I think it's best if I just backed off. We started this because we were both not seeing anyone serious.

    If he is seeing someone right now I woudn't want to come between them.
     
  7. Joo

    Joo New Member

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    I know what you mean. I was the first to move on (if that's the correct phase?) We carried on as friends and are still friends to this day. I hope he can open up and tell you his feelings so you know where you're at. I can tell that you would wish him well if he had found somebody else. Its a bit "up in the air" for you at the moment.:frown1:
     
  8. SpoiledPrincess

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    Sounds like he wants you to make all the running. Were you the one to back down/apologise/make amends after the argument? Somewhere along the lines it appears he's got the upper hand and he wants to keep it.
     
  9. Smartalk

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    I will be leaving the country permanently in a few weeks and I don't really want to stop seeing him but if it's what he wants then I'll back off.

    I think that lone says it all, it maybe your friend who is feeling rejected. As Manlybannisters points out Sounds like this is more than a FB situation for one or both of you.

    HAve you looked at the situation from your FB side of things, He may love you deeply and as such doesnt want to stand in the way of your move, but could be hurting inside because he loves you so much and if asked probably doesnt want you to go.

    I think you need to talk to him in a way that will get him to reveal his true thoughts and feelings

    Good Luck
     
  10. helgaleena

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    Smartalk has said what I was going to say. :) Backing off is my advice though. If he wanted to say how he really feels he would if he's a true friend but he is staying true to your arrangement and keeping quiet.

    OTOH you sound like you want him 'on call' when you return from overseas--? No, you are only FBs and cannot count on the future staying like this. that is the difference between FB and a boyfriend. If you are truly his friend too you will not stand in his way either. It would be kinder not to bring up anything 'heavy' when you are about to leave.
     
  11. eyescream

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    It was a silly sex-related argument.:redface: So nobody apologized, we just put it behind us. He left thinking I was mad but I just pretended to be mad because I was tired and wanted to go to sleep.:cool:

    Our agreement is that we meet at my place. I live in the city and he lives in the outskirts so when he's got stuff to do in the city, we meet up.

    The issue though is that the past 2 times that we met over a span of one month, it was I who initiated. So that's why I'm guessing he probably wants to stop this.

    But the weird thing about it is that the two times that we met, he didn't have anything to do in the city. I never say stuff like "come over NOW", it's usually more like "hey we should meet up soon" and he's over in a jiffy.

    A few years ago there was this rumour going around that I was in love with him. Just to make it clear - I've never been in love with him, and was involved with someone else that I was in love with. So I don't really know who started that rumour.

    But anyone can see that he and I get along really well, so it's no suprise people thought there was something.

    Anyway, a few months ago he asked me to be his girlfriend. I had assumed it was because he believed the rumour and thought that I was in love with him. I still believe that he only asked me to be his girlfriend because he thinks I have feelings for him.

    But in the 1% chance that he asked me to be his girlfriend because HE has or had feelings for me, I wouldn't have continued this FB relationship. He was not clear about that, and I am not a mind reader.:frown1:

    Nope, I will not be returning and I have no interest to start something 'heavy' with him either.

    I am in it purely for the sex, and that's what made him and I perfect FBs - the fact that we're both in it purely for sex - as far as I'm concerned.

    I've had FBs in the past who made things complicated (e.g. wanting to hang out for a chat and not have sex - weird!) and the only other guy I can have sex with right now claims to have feelings for me so I'd rather not get into that.
     
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