Does love = fucking?

[BF2K]

I've always had a hard time with the "gay" scene because it seems to have very little to do with love, bonding, emotional and physical closeness and committment to another person and much more to do with fucking or getting fucked by another man. Some hetero's and gays are the same - fucking for pleasure, anything with a cunt or an ass - is not love, in my opinion. What do you all think?

 

[DC_DEEP]

I'm very much in love with my partner, and we have been together for almost 7 years now.

And no, love and fucking are not the same thing. You can fuck people you love, you can fuck people you don't love, and you can love people you don't fuck.

Just curious, where do you get your exposure to "gay scene?" Not all of us hang out in bars every night looking for a trick.

 

[Pirate Wench]

You haven't met enough male/male couples.

I know two different male/male couples who are more faithful than some hetero couples I know.......

Don't be fooled by the negative stereotype that's been around too long and perpetuated by the intolerant.

 

[Corius]

I'm glad to be the first responder. I have great appreciation for love in whatever arrangement it may come. I have had three long term relationshiips with men and two with women. Love is the bond and sex without the bonds of friendship/love has no appeal to me. Friends have a way of becoming more than friends and when that happens there comes the time when two people find that sexual coupling is the appropriate next step. It should all happen so naturally and the sex becomes the affirmation, the confirmation, the sealing of the bonds of friendship/love that have already been formed. That kind of sex is awesome and it just gets better with each repeat. Years later, I count every one of my sex partners as dear friends; what we had together, what I have with my wife today has endured the test of time. I favor monogamy and don't approve of cheating, sharing or group sex for myself. My signature says it.

 

[BF2K]

Pirate Wrench - don't think I am "intolerant" not many opportunities to meet or interact with male couples - I guess they kind of have to hide. Let me specify that I was referring to the "gay scene" - anonymous sex, glory holes, gay bars where the only objective is to find someone for the evening - I realize that the same occurs in the hetero community - guys looking for a "fuck" at any price. I just have the "impression" that some are confusing physical closeness with the concept of "love." In the era of MTV, American Idol and Desparate Housewives it's kind of different to think otherwise. Thanks for all of your responses.

 

[Joseph]

Love and sex are seperate things....

I dont think homosexuals less into love....
It's the same thing as with straight...
This reminds me of the debate in class
"Some people say homosexuals offen betray they're partners or that the homosexual relations end fast"
I just replied "A while ago we have been reading an article... where it was written that about every third hetero marriage in germany ends with a divorce... So straight people got serious reasons to get divorced and if that happens to gay people then it's just because they're gay?"

So I say... it does not matter... well maybe expect... heh remember talking about this to my gay friend
"It's kinda weird... all the gay people I know had at least 2 boyfriends before... so did I. But hardly any straight guy I know had 2 girlfriends... a lot fo them even never had anyone. I wonder why..."
My awnser
"Well we have to handle the mysterious mentality of a women unlike you "

 

[dreamer20]

I've always had a hard time with the "gay" scene

Is that why you left it?

it seems to have very little to do with love, bonding, emotional and physical closeness and committment to another person and much more to do with fucking or getting fucked by another man. What do you all think?

I think that everyone, regardless of sexuality, will seek the type of relationship that suits them. And that love, bonding, etc. can exist in a sexual relationship.

 

[WildHoney]

My opinion on this was expressed in my blog.

Love and fucking

"It's never been an issue for me, to differentiate the two. I can quite clearly see the line between them, it is not blurry or faint.
I am not one for romantic sex. Maybe because I naturally tend to lean towards passion and wild, over sweet and romantic, it's easier for me ?

I like to show I am in love with my husband by cooking for him, by raising his kids, by lovingly stroking his hair while we watch TV. ...many things, I love him without constraint, he is the best man I know.

When I fuck - I like to fuck , I do not want romance. I want breathless passion, nasty doggie style hair pulling fucking, I want to give mad hot head, I like to feel cum in my mouth"
For me love and fucking are two entirely different thing.

Sometimes we do "make love" which is sex saved for when we have a need for an intense emotional conenction between the two of us. The two things "love and fucking" are to me, entirely seperate.

xx
Honey

 

[IntoxicatingToxin]

Hrm. I can agree to a point that gay men are more promiscuous, but think about how high a mans sex drive is. It only makes sense. Straight men would probably be a lot more promiscuous too if women had the same sex drive as men do. But I definitely think that there is a lot of love involved, too. I know many homosexual men who have been with the same partner for years, and truly deeply love them. I really don't think it's any different than heterosexual relationships, except for there being more sex involved!

 

[Corius]

BIGFOOT2000, as you so bluntly put it, "...fucking for pleasure....is not love....." But, I hope you would agree that for two people who truly love each other fucking is the height of pleasure. Let's face it, many go for fucking because it is fun; given time, they may be able to increase the intensity of the pleasure (fun) they derive from it. If that is all a person is after sex without love is quite a reasonable choice.

There are others, and I count myself among them, for whom "fucking" is just too coarse a word for what they seek. The act of sexual coupling for such folks comes well into a process of bonding in friendship and love. The point comes when physical union is the next appropriate way in which their friendship/love is to be expressed. The sex is the sealing of the bonds that have already been formed and it comes about naturally as the two give themselves each to the other. That kind of sex reaches a level of intensity and meaning that the sex for pleasure doesn't even approach.

We all make our choice of what we will go for; I wish more folks would consider before they opt for the quick thrill; love takes effort and commitment.

 

[clarkma86]

There's all kinds in all scenes. Some just want sex, some want love, some can't tell the difference between the two and some have their heads on straight. Best of luck sorting them all out.