Does Porn Skew Your Expectations in a Female Partner?

[Guy-jin]

Slightly.

Basically the only expectation I've had skewed is that all porn women love giving head, and in my experience, real women are not typically huge fans.

It makes me sad. :frown1:

 

[guyface]

I have a love hate relationship with porn.

On one hand, I hate it. Back in a high school drama/debate meet, I actually did a speech on the harms and evils of the porn industry. At that time though, I did look at porn all the time. Sure hypocritical, but that doesn't mean I can't hate something that I do, and know effects me in a negative way. Just like an alcoholic can hate other alcoholics and still drink.
Anyway, I dislike porn for the same reasons others have mentioned. Some reasons i have include: it creates unrealistic expectations, it fuel unrealistic fantasies, it's possible it makes people more perverted, and almost always it's completely FAKE.

But so real at the same time.
Which I think is quite strange. How can the aspects and emotions of something be acted out, while actually doing the thing itself?
While a woman is being penetrated in the act of intercourse, she is moaning erotically, and having a look of pleasure on her face that is fake and/or acted out.
Or when a woman acts scared of a large penis in a video, but in reality has seen many similarly large penises and is used to working with them.
Not to mention all the other fake aspects like just the shitty acting in general.

I think this kind of acting is unique. For example, if a person actually broke their leg in a movie, wouldn't it be weird if they acted out fake pain and fake screams?
Okay, it's probably not like that.

I'm just saying, I find porn fascinating. Especially amateur porn. I often wonder what was going on in the minds of the young ladies when they submit themselves to being films. I wonder the same about the 18 an 19 year old actors, barely legal, just as young or younger than myself. I wonder how the experiance changes them. I wonder how their future relationships could work out differently.
When I look at female friends and colleagues, I couldn't imagine any of them doing porn. So I wonder, where do these millions of porn girls come from?

I have seen some pretty amazing things in porn and strangely, some of the best looking women I have seen were women in porn.

During a phase of frequent porn watching, I found that it was harder to get it up by the usual looks kissed from my very pretty, but slightly pudgy girlfriend. I also had more trouble staying hard when the lights were off, or if we were in a car at night. Point is, porn had a small, but significant effect on sex. Sure I could still have sex with my girlfriend and I would want to just as much as ever, but it was just a little harder getting aroused.
After discovering this I watched porn much less frequently. I seldom watch porn now and am planning to not watch at all eventually. I don't think it's fair to my girlfriend who I love and desire sexually as part of that love.
I wouldn't want her pleasuring herself to other men having sex, so why should I have the double standard?

I find that porn is a very addicting and potentially harmful drug.

 

[ThisSpace4Rent]

I think it's more like gambling than drugs, from the standpoint that it can be addictive or life destroying, and it can also just be entertainment.

I go to Vegas on occasion, with a pre-set spending limit and the assumption that I'm going to lose all that money (but have fun doing it). My grandfather, on the other hand, dipped into my mom's college savings fund and actually blew her entire college fund at the horse track.

 

[B_ScaredLittleBoy]

Any guy who has his opinions on women made for him by the porn industry deserves no woman. Unless he's some kind of super stud (which I don't think most wankers are), he can't get a 'supermodel' girlfriend

Some people get things they don't deserve. And furthermore what kind of guy goes out with a girl he isn't attracted to?

 

[Ethyl]

Which is why I ask...should women be more concerned? Has porn raised the bar in what men consider hot sex? Maybe we've been sitting back thinking it's men who should do all the work? Is the easy access to porn going to start altering men's expectations in bed and find women wanting?

I don't think it's the easy access that's causing trouble but the expectation that women look and act a certain way. Fortunately the porn industry has expanded to include any kind of fetish or desire we could possibly dream of. The flip side is that most het porn is shit. I know exactly what to expect when I watch a het flick. The girl/s are surgically nipped, tucked, and disproportionally ballooned, wear layers of makeup, whine "oh baby" throughout the vid, and never have real orgasms. No wonder so many men can't tell the difference between fake and real orgasms. Het porn has been their sexual handbook for years. We can always expect to see money shots and girls being fucked in the face until they gag.

Raising the bar? I'd say it's more like tunnel vision. This is the difference between porn and erotica. Erotica opens your eyes to new things and allows your imagination to wander. Porn focuses on a singular purpose.

 

[rob_just_rob]

So only one guy admits it affected his perceptions and only in the past. Or is it just the case that men don't admit it where women are around? HMM. It's interesting seeing the difference from one to the next. The other site has almost zero women. I can think of only 2. I wonder if that has something to do with the difference in the responses.

I'll chime in and say it has. I've become somewhat desensitized to "regular" women - in the years Before Porn, I was happy to be with a woman with a pretty face and a healthy attitude towards sex - her body didn't need to be perfect. Now, I find myself comparing my partners' physiques to those of previous partners or to stereotypical online images ("her breasts have a little sag... oh, her thighs are a bit thick").

Intellectually, I know this is unfair. I know that while I am fairly attractive, I'm not physically perfect, either. I also know that porn models are in their late teens to early 20s, spend hours in the gym, thousands on cosmetic surgery, and are airbrushed for appearance. And yet, when I undress a new partner, there's still a part of me that expects her skin tone, breasts, ass and pubic hair style to resemble those of porn models.

 

[B_Hickboy]

My female partner has raised what I expect of porn any more.

 

[JMeister]

If you want a more realistic view of what porn stars look like 'off camera' check out the Private Casting Series. It's amazing what makeup and good camera work can do. The girls are first interviewed seemingly sans makeup and then they perform for supposedly the first time.

Most of the girls look very average during the interviews and are totally hot in front of the camera. Private is exceptional at making fat, squishy and saggy disappear in front of the lens.

 

[ZOS23xy]

I like erotic, not porn. Porn tends to have too much information.

 

[nicenycdick]

I think when I was younger, porn did effect me and I was looking for unrealistic beauty. But as I've gotten older, and realized that there are no women that actually look like those porn stars (not even THEY do!), I look for attitude much more than anything else. Shit, I think a woman with the right attitude could get me every time...no matter what "imperfections" she might have!

 

[Drifterwood]

Pornography has left me in no doubt that reality is infinitely preferable to unreality.

But, the net is helpful in providing access to and consideration of other genres of erotica.

 

[D_Tintagel_Demondong]

Also, it's not THAT hard to "reprogram" your mind. I've rewired my brain sexually a couple of times. So I believe that ayone desensitized by porn can fix it eventually.

That's what I did. I finally gew up and realized that the world wasn't as ideal as I thought. Flaws can be beautiful.

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

Rec, thats a very profound thing you just said. Im having to learn to embrace my csection scar. I really want to get a custom tattoo over it for some erotic photographs i do, but im thinking about leaving it. Its a badge of honor for me.