Does Sex Make A Relationship (aaw Version)

[TrueB2]

I asked this in the "Ask A Man Section" and someone asked me to post it here. Is sex something you require in a long term relationship? Personally, I would prefer a sexless relationship, but that's just me. How important is sex to you?

 

[LaFemme]

Pretty important. I consider sex to be the mortar that hold the bricks of a relationship together. Sex is the closest two people can be together. It is the most intimate. I can do everything else with friends - travel, live together, share secrets, cook, be affectionate, etc. Sex makes the difference.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

I could stay with my love if for some reason we weren't able to continue having sex, but to begin a new relationship with someone who isn't as sexual as I am wouldn't work.

We wouldn't be as close as we are if we hadn't physically bonded for years. All the conversation in the world can't express what my body does. Words don't do justice to the way he makes me feel, the only way I can communicate that to him is with my body through sexual connection.

 

[AlteredEgo]

I used to think so. Intimacy makes the relationship for me. I do have sex with some of my friends. I do not have sex with my husband. Of course, I do not see this as ideal. It's working though, and has for years. So, I guess the sex is unnecessary. I would never have chosen this. This is a thing that just kind of happened to me. I would not begin a life-partnership knowing there would be no sex. I prefer sexual monogamy.

 

[286798]

Pretty important. I consider sex to be the mortar that hold the bricks of a relationship together. Sex is the closest two people can be together. It is the most intimate. I can do everything else with friends - travel, live together, share secrets, cook, be affectionate, etc. Sex makes the difference.

+1... BUT I'd imagine that at some point (meaning age... where parts don't work or joints don't bend), this will wane.

 

[LaFemme]

+1... BUT I'd imagine that at some point (meaning age... where parts don't work or joints don't bend), this will wane.

I suppose. But arthritis medication, a few well placed pillows, and one can be good to go!

 

[TinyPrincess]

Would miss it greatly but if he's the one then I could live without.

 

[rtg]

I’ve learned that once sex dies down in the relationship, then the relationship is basically on its deathbed too. Obviously if there were legitimate reasons for not being able to have sex (like health issues) then that’s different.

I also don’t think I could survive in a relationship where the sex became boring and he didn’t want to try new things.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

I asked this in the "Ask A Man Section" and someone asked me to post it here. Is sex something you require in a long term relationship? Personally, I would prefer a sexless relationship, but that's just me. How important is sex to you?

Thank you for posting this here.
I’m technically demisexual. I MUST have emotional connection, however once that connection is there, I’m voracious in appetite.
think opening Pandora’s...um....box.
When connection wanes my appetite vanishes.

However, if, as others have said, he’s The One, and he’s OK with me handling my needs with buzzy things, and he’s willing to be in on the play as intimacy, if we don’t have PIV or PIAnything sex again, that’s livable.

What I’m not OK with is a lack of intimacy. Holding, openness with thoughts and emotions, living a full life together.
For me, sex is one expression of intimacy. But only one.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

I’m betting the answers are quite different here, nu?

 

[AlteredEgo]

Thank you for posting this here.
I’m technically demisexual. I MUST have emotional connection, however once that connection is there, I’m voracious in appetite.
think opening Pandora’s...um....box.
When connection wanes my appetite vanishes.

However, if, as others have said, he’s The One, and he’s OK with me handling my needs with buzzy things, and he’s willing to be in on the play as intimacy, if we don’t have PIV or PIAnything sex again, that’s livable.

What I’m not OK with is a lack of intimacy. Holding, openness with thoughts and emotions, living a full life together.
For me, sex is one expression of intimacy. But only one.

I am similar to this, but I wish I was more like this. Ideally, my wine partnership would be monogamous and would be very affectionate as well as very sexual. I have found that masturbation is not a substitute for sex for me long-term. In my marriage there is lots of affection. Right now, I have a hard time accepting the affection my husband wants to go out on me, because we still have unresolved problems surrounding our sex life. I do not find his claims to having a traction for women and specifically for me to be credible. I find that years of sexual rejection have led to revolts giron regarding any sexual contact from him. This includes kissing. Until I can either believe that he has some magical attraction toward me that is of a sexual nature, or he can just admit that he's gay and take a male partner which I would agree to welcome into our relationship, too much physical affection makes me extremely anxious. Anxiety bordering on panic attack is what I'm talking about. The last time he tried to touch me sexually was years ago, and I burst into tears and left the house for hours. Now, every time he touches me, I'm terrified that he wants to initiate sexual contact to prove something to me. In a few months when my body is healthy enough to attempt a deliberate pregnancy, this will come to a head. I want him to give me semen in a condom. He will expect to inseminate me naturally, I think. I have to find a way to communicate my fears and anxieties to him before then. We need outside help. Meanwhile, I have whittled my Playmates down to one. If my husband can convince me that I just happen to be the one woman he has a sexual attraction to, and he can act on that attraction regularly, and give me time to trust that it is real, we might be able to go back to monogamy, and I would like that very much. But I can't go back to having him pretend on top of me. The idea makes me vomit. Literally. And I hate vomiting.

I cannot lay with strangers. I've tried it. I hate it. It makes me feel dirty, and not in a good way. It doesn't have to be love, but there has to be intense, mutual like, and the potential for real friendship, a life-long bond that transcends sex, must be present.

I just want a loving connection with my husband, which I have. I really do love him so much. If we also had a sexual connection, everything would be perfect.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

My soul aches for you, AE.

 

[Holly Doors]

For me it's all part of it, I need the intimacy and companionship and the sharing but yes I really need the sexual side as well xx

 

[Taya]

I read the question and decided to write something. Then, read further down and became ashamed at my lack of ability to express myself in comparison with your posts. And this isn't the first time.
How can someone else continuously describe me, my feelings and my thoughts better than I can? I'm all ears.

Mr. OP - Relationships are different. You can't apply the same rule to everyone of them. For me, sex was a vital part of any relation. But, now I think the degree of importance decreases as the time spent together increases and, ideally, the bond gets stronger.

In my "travelling is better than arriving" motto days, I would have dumped my bf for lack of it. Would I do that to my husband now? No way. He is my companion for life and I am not going to chose any deficiency over commitment. WOuld you leave your loved one because she/was incapacitated in a different way? I hope not.

And some might argue that it is easy to say that due my marriage being an open one. No. I thought about it and questioned myself before. I'm quite sure of this.

@Scarletbegonia - Again, I learnt something new. I am demisexual. I didn't even know the word existed. As someone who earns a living based on information, I feel further ashamed because of my lack of it. Exposed here from the beginning.

I agree with all the rest. I can't think of being with a guy without any emotions thrown in and that is proven. To me by myself over and over again. If only the morons of LPSG could get that.

Part of your message is already stolen for future use by myself. I am not sorry.

@AlteredEgo - I will use some of your wording in the future, too. Because I can't come up with better.

I cannot lay with strangers. I've tried it. I hate it. It makes me feel dirty, and not in a good way. It doesn't have to be love, but there has to be intense, mutual like, and the potential for real friendship, a life-long bond that transcends sex, must be present.

About your relationship with your husband AND your feelings, I rarely feel so much affection. But my husband woke up to my sobbing. It might be strange coming from a stranger. I hope I am not offending.

I was getting ready to write my opinions about your husband but then I read your last sentence. And decided not to in the fear of hurting your feelings.

II can only hope that he finds the wisdom to thank his creator for having you in his life, repent for the misery he created, pray for more opportunities to make up for the past and act on them.

I bow with respect.