Does she want me to pursue her?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by galaxus, Feb 5, 2008.

  1. galaxus

    galaxus Member

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    I'm in college and I've become best friends with this girl i met over the summer while taking classes. we've spent time together almost everyday since then. I've even met some of her family.

    the only problem in my eyes is that she has a boyfriend (who goes to a different college).

    I really don't know if she wants to be with me or just wants to be around me. My friends all say that she wants to get with me but she seems to be happy with her boyfriend. i met him. he seems to be a cool guy. but me and him are nothing alike.

    she always calls me to study with her. she always calls me to walk her somewhere. she always call me to help her deal with her problems.

    I do want to get with her, but i don't want to take her away from her boyfriend. I also don't know if she wants to be taken away from her boyfriend.

    right now i think she's pissed at me because i tried to hook up with this other girl, but that didn't work out.

    what should i do?
     
  2. DC_DEEP

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    That's a bit of a warning sign, I think...

    Ask her?

    "I've been getting some mixed signals from you. Are you OK with us as 'just friends,' or do you want something more?"
     
  3. B_cigarbabe

    B_cigarbabe New Member

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    Do the right thing. Which is ask her,like DC said,that
    would be the simplest way,to know for sure.
    cigarbabe:saevil:
     
  4. galaxus

    galaxus Member

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    yeah... i here what your saying. but if i ask that question... things might never be the same.... but then again, i'm getting sick of this lil game we're playing.... i dunno.... more opinions please.
     
  5. SexandCandy

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    have the conversation. it saves so much time- you won't stress over wondering, and you can clear the air... It might be a good thing... :)
     
  6. snoozan

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    games don't work in friendships. ask her. some women just like to have a guy around when their boyfriends are away to be backup or to have a man to hang around with. this is fine, but if you've started falling for her and she's truly not interested, it's in your best interest to know and decide what to do from there.
     
  7. visceraltuning

    visceraltuning New Member

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    Well,

    You are a young available man and she appears to be unavailable. It is unfair to you to invest in a relationship or be expected to invest in a relationship where the input is not reciprocated. My advice is to try to make something happen or get out. You should be experimenting to find out what type of person is best suited for you as a life partner, and you are not getting that opportunity with this situation. It's not fun being in the "friend zone".

    More power to you that you tried to hook up with another girl, and keep on doing that until you get this situation resolved. If you need some social support then look to your guy friends to be your "home team".

    -------------------
    This story might be helpful.

    During my freshman year there was a girl that I and another guy were interested in but she had a boyfriend that was still in high school. I held back but the other guy didn't, so she was cheating on her high school boyfriend for about 5 months with this other guy. This girl and the guy she was cheating with are now happily married and have two kids.

    The moral of the story is go for the kiss. If she rejects you then move on because until you find a life partner there is still plenty of ass to be had.
     
  8. lamplight

    lamplight Member

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    I think this is a "truth is in the details" kind of thing.

    Does she touch your arm when she laughs at a joke?

    Do you "fake-argue", flirt and have that "sexual tension" going?

    Sometimes those types of relationships can be just "friends zone". And other times it can be attraction. In my experience, even the shyest of girls manage to send out some small clues when they like you. But I really couldn't tell what they were up until a few years ago. It's just practice.

    That being said, I really think you should get her to end it with her boyfriend first. There's nothing worse than being cheated on, and sometimes a little straightforwardness can get you a long way.

    Whacka Whacka!
     
  9. galaxus

    galaxus Member

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    she laughs at all my jokes but we're not "touchy feely".

    we do touch knees when we sit close together to study though.

    we fake argue and tease each other too, but we never flirt.

    *sigh* i want to know... but i don't want to lose her company. i guess i gotta do what i gotta do.
     
  10. D_Percival Puddleford Pukehorn

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    i agree with most here: TALK TO HER. If the friendship means anything then honesty is the best policy in this case.
     
  11. RedScrotum

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    yeah, talk to her...that's what friends do..... btw... i married my best friend 26 years ago
     
  12. HazelGod

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    Give her a couple tequila shots, then whip out your cock, smack her upside the head with it, and tell her it hurt and you're leaving unless she kisses it better.
     
  13. SexandCandy

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    I had a similar situation with a guy friend... We agreed right at the start that we weren't interested in being *serious* or *dating*... just friends. But then as time went on, he started getting more attached... and we did screw a few times, but that was before the attachment started... anyway, he is a great guy, but we also had to have the conversation of *remember we aren't dating we're just friends*... and I had to end all physical relationship with him... just to drive the point home.

    We're still great friends, this time with no sex.... So the point was, you CAN have a friendship after that kind of conversation... even if the answer's not what you hoped. In fact, if you really care about this girl, you WILL have a friendship with her after the conversation.

    Just something to think about... :)
     
  14. galaxus

    galaxus Member

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    thats a great point. you make feel somthing good will come out of this no matter what happens.

    thanx for all of the input guys. still, if you have somthing to say, let me know.
     
  15. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    Hrm... get a bit drunk and ask her.. Then claim to remember nothing the next day.
     
  16. galaxus

    galaxus Member

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    I just wanna update you guys:

    the short story is: We're not friends anymore.

    She didn't make that choice, I did. I didn't tell her how I felt about her either (although i did try to). she's acting so fake and crazy, i just don't want to deal with her.

    so i don't know what the moral to this story is. but i'm satisfied.
     
  17. Max Downs

    Max Downs Member

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    good thinking mate
     
  18. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    Sorry to hear that man, live and let live I guess.
     
  19. B_Bette

    B_Bette New Member

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    You're the platonic replacement bf, as in "he's not here, so you'll do." Cut her off immediately and move on.
     
  20. galaxus

    galaxus Member

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    well.... just to keep yawl updated on things.... she came to me apologized and now we're friends again.... :)

    i'm happy we're friends again, but i dunno...
     
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