Does she want sex if she spends the night?

[B_ordinarydude88]

ps: post an update as to what happens next time she comes over... you will either have lost your V card, or have a nice slap print across your face

 

[shyyguy123]

Well I talked to her. I told her that when she comes over at 1am to spend the night and cuddle every straight guy in the world is going to draw 1 of 2 conclusions, you want sex or you like me. And then I told her that if both of those conclusions are wrong and shes just using me as a cuddle buddy then she needs to find someone else. I'm not sure if that was a good approach or not but w/e because I already did it.

She responded with someone like "alright you caught me, I just wanted a cuddle buddy and I'm sorry if I led you on".

So if that's actually true she won't be comming over anymore lol. I'm going to let my ego win anyway, I still think she kind of likes me. Not gonna let her take the little confidence I have.

 

[dolfette]

She responded with someone like "alright you caught me, I just wanted a cuddle buddy and I'm sorry if I led you on".

i get no smugness from being right this time.
sorry she messed you around.
but on the plus side you must be a very likable person, or she wouldn't have used you that way.

 

[B_ordinarydude88]

Well I talked to her. I told her that when she comes over at 1am to spend the night and cuddle every straight guy in the world is going to draw 1 of 2 conclusions, you want sex or you like me. And then I told her that if both of those conclusions are wrong and shes just using me as a cuddle buddy then she needs to find someone else. I'm not sure if that was a good approach or not but w/e because I already did it.

She responded with someone like "alright you caught me, I just wanted a cuddle buddy and I'm sorry if I led you on".

So if that's actually true she won't be comming over anymore lol. I'm going to let my ego win anyway, I still think she kind of likes me. Not gonna let her take the little confidence I have.

ouch. that sucks but oh well, at least she will quit playing mind games with you. its probably better this way.

ps: youre EXACTLY like me... someone with little confidence who had this girl always come over (she had a bf) but wouldnt do anything.. pretty weird how you had the exact same situation.

 

[Wish-4-8]

i get no smugness from being right this time.
sorry she messed you around.
but on the plus side you must be a very likable person, or she wouldn't have used you that way.

Hey, I want in on that prize too!!! :smile:

Being right hurts so good. (and not to brag but my batting average at calling shit out around here has been pretty damn high)

 

[Wish-4-8]

Well I talked to her. I told her that when she comes over at 1am to spend the night and cuddle every straight guy in the world is going to draw 1 of 2 conclusions, you want sex or you like me. And then I told her that if both of those conclusions are wrong and shes just using me as a cuddle buddy then she needs to find someone else. I'm not sure if that was a good approach or not but w/e because I already did it.

She responded with someone like "alright you caught me, I just wanted a cuddle buddy and I'm sorry if I led you on".

So if that's actually true she won't be comming over anymore lol. I'm going to let my ego win anyway, I still think she kind of likes me. Not gonna let her take the little confidence I have.

Congrats. You handled that like a MAN. Props to you, I am proud!

 

[D_Kaye Throttlebottom]

Eh...I think she is testing you. She knows you're pretty passive and won't force yourself on her (which is what many guys would do if a woman crawled into bed with them at 1am and cuddled and wrestled). If she doesn't want sex...that's really odd behavior.

Disagree, she still has feelings for her ex and she wants something to feel close to, but she's not willing to go any farther. She's grieving.

I've done that to a male friend when I broke up with someone etc and felt lonely - did not want to be alone - just wanted a friend to console me, but I did not make it a guessing game- I'd say up front...I can't sleep, I'm upset and just need a friend, can I have a hug?

And they got it. If she turned you away when you tried to kiss her - know up front, she's not in to you. She may change her mind or maybe not. Instead of guessing though - ask her. Talk to her...so you know what her boundaries are and so that she knows what yours are (e.g. you're not interested in being a dick in a glass).

 

[D_Petherick_Poundlouder]

I was always told to make two small moves, then one innocent one. The tease and flirt doesn't end til you make it all the way.

 

[Alexanddan]

I'm terrible with women. I was extremely shy most of my life and I've always been insanely passive around women. I'm actually a virgin, despite having a lot of opportunities at sex, due to my passiveness. I need serious help with my current situation:

I've been hanging out with this girl recently who says she still has some feelings for her ex and just wants friends for now. Twice now she has hit me up and asked if she could come hang out, both very late like 12:00 and 1 am. And yes she ended up spending the night both times which I'm assuming was her intention beforehand. We did not have sex but we did spoon and wrestle. Due to my passiveness I didn't really make a move aside from grabbing her ass. We've been hanging out for a few weeks now and I haven't even kissed her. I was actually denied the only time I tried.

Am I being an idiot here for not making a move? If a woman wants to come over and spend the night does she for sure want sex? Should I just grab a titty next time, if there is a next time? Anyone have any advice??

How old are you?

 

[OhhYeah]

It sounds like she wants to have fun with a guy right now, she doesnt want to get serious w/ you or anyone thats not her ex. So my advice: GET DRUNK and see where the fun leads you. If you want her to take your virginity I think she will. It seems like she likes you but just doesnt want to get serious. Getting drunk never fails. Good luck and let us know what happens.

 

[shyyguy123]

I'm 23. Like I said my extreme shyness (social anxiety) pretty much caused me to shy away from the world until I was about 20.

It sounds like she wants to have fun with a guy right now, she doesnt want to get serious w/ you or anyone thats not her ex. So my advice: GET DRUNK and see where the fun leads you. If you want her to take your virginity I think she will. It seems like she likes you but just doesnt want to get serious. Getting drunk never fails. Good luck and let us know what happens.

Haha I hope you're right. It really seems like she likes me somewhat but like I said I'm terrible with reading women. Her just toying with me and not giving a shit wouldn't shock me either. I don't think I should be hitting her up for atleast a week or two though, if at all.

 

[max90]

I'm terrible with women. I was extremely shy most of my life and I've always been insanely passive around women. I'm actually a virgin, despite having a lot of opportunities at sex, due to my passiveness. I need serious help with my current situation:

I've been hanging out with this girl recently who says she still has some feelings for her ex and just wants friends for now. Twice now she has hit me up and asked if she could come hang out, both very late like 12:00 and 1 am. And yes she ended up spending the night both times which I'm assuming was her intention beforehand. We did not have sex but we did spoon and wrestle. Due to my passiveness I didn't really make a move aside from grabbing her ass. We've been hanging out for a few weeks now and I haven't even kissed her. I was actually denied the only time I tried.

Am I being an idiot here for not making a move? If a woman wants to come over and spend the night does she for sure want sex? Should I just grab a titty next time, if there is a next time? Anyone have any advice??

Everybody is a little scared when they make the first move. You never know what you're going to get. But you should just give it a try. I can tell you, thinking "wow, I never knew I really could have made a move" while you're having sex is great.

 

[L_Lynn]

I'm going to let my ego win anyway, I still think she kind of likes me. Not gonna let her take the little confidence I have.

She really hasn't taken anything from you. Chalk it up to a "Now I know..." experience. She may not like you that way (yet) but she likes you some or else she wouldn't have wanted you touching her at all.

If her eyes don't open to see what a nice guy you are, her loss.

 

[kit_kat]

Well I talked to her. I told her that when she comes over at 1am to spend the night and cuddle every straight guy in the world is going to draw 1 of 2 conclusions, you want sex or you like me. And then I told her that if both of those conclusions are wrong and shes just using me as a cuddle buddy then she needs to find someone else. I'm not sure if that was a good approach or not but w/e because I already did it.

She responded with someone like "alright you caught me, I just wanted a cuddle buddy and I'm sorry if I led you on".

So if that's actually true she won't be comming over anymore lol. I'm going to let my ego win anyway, I still think she kind of likes me. Not gonna let her take the little confidence I have.

Good job! It's great that you asked outright - shows you have balls. You should actually feel more confident that you talked to her outright instead of playing some silly back and forth game only to arrive at the same conclusion much much later. And now you have time and space to meet someone new, go out - someone might be waiting to jump your bones and good luck.

 

[helgaleena]

I add my voice to the chorus of postings that you did the right thing. She was being a user by trying to make your into an asexual thing. If she does come back, you know she wants more, and if she doesn't you know you are cuddly and can remind yourself of this until the right pushy woman takes you further.

 

[shyyguy123]

Haha thanks again guys I really appreciate all the help. And yah you're definitely right max90 I need to just make the move. Maybe she would have gone with it. Worst possible case she gets mad and leaves.

 

[D_Petherick_Poundlouder]

And if she leaves, onto the next one.

 

[Enid]

She really hasn't taken anything from you. Chalk it up to a "Now I know..." experience. She may not like you that way (yet) but she likes you some or else she wouldn't have wanted you touching her at all.

What she said!

 

[minimag]

Never assume what a woman's intentions or motives are, because, as they say: "Assumption is the mother of all f-ck ups"

 

[ten2ride]

I'm terrible with women. I was extremely shy most of my life and I've always been insanely passive around women. I'm actually a virgin, despite having a lot of opportunities at sex, due to my passiveness. I need serious help with my current situation:

I've been hanging out with this girl recently who says she still has some feelings for her ex and just wants friends for now. Twice now she has hit me up and asked if she could come hang out, both very late like 12:00 and 1 am. And yes she ended up spending the night both times which I'm assuming was her intention beforehand. We did not have sex but we did spoon and wrestle. Due to my passiveness I didn't really make a move aside from grabbing her ass. We've been hanging out for a few weeks now and I haven't even kissed her. I was actually denied the only time I tried.

Am I being an idiot here for not making a move? If a woman wants to come over and spend the night does she for sure want sex? Should I just grab a titty next time, if there is a next time? Anyone have any advice??

Dude, women are not always about sex. They are sensitive cratures that need kindness. I have a woman friend who has seen some of the pics I have on this site, so she knows very well what she could have, but I have spent the night with her several times only holding her close & giving her non-sexual kindness. She is a single mom & amazingly sexy & hell yes &'d bang her in a heartbeat & we would both love it physically, but what she & I have is actually beyond sex & sex is not what she needs from me either, so she gets my kindness & friendship. It is totally OK to care for a woman without taking it to sex. If she wants it, she'll let you know...