Does somebody gets a second date?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by B_quietguy, Mar 11, 2010.

  1. B_quietguy

    B_quietguy New Member

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    I came across an article that says women generally have many more deal-breakers than men when deciding if somebody is worth a second date.

    From the article:
    "Women have a list of 300 reasons on why they won't go out with a man on a second date. On the opposite side, she believes that the men have a simple list of only three."

    What guy can live up to 300 reasons (excuses?) for rejecting him for just a second date? Any women with that many excuses for dumping a guy is not worth asking out for a first date!
     
  2. dolfette

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    have you ever considered that maybe it's men who should be more discerning than, ''well she has a cunt, two boobs and doesn't stink of rotting meat...i would hit that!''?
     
  3. wallyj84

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    If men were as picky as women, the human race would die out or at least shrink significantly.
     
  4. petite

    petite New Member

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    Actually I can probably think of 1000 reasons why I wouldn't go on a second date!

    Let's see, here's 10 more...

    301. Expects sex on the first date
    302. Laughed at a racist joke
    303. Doesn't like my dog
    304. Got really drunk and passed out
    305. Wouldn't leave my apartment when I wanted him to at the end of the date (this has happened a few times)
    306. Arrived really late and didn't have a good excuse
    307. Flirts with someone else while we're on a date
    308. Got stoned
    308. Didn't shave (and he's not working the sexy stubble look)
    309. Didn't brush his teeth
    310. Smells really bad

    Okay, that's mostly facetious, but four of them have actually happened on a first date before, believe it or not.

    If you're an attractive woman, you have a lot of options because attractive women get a lot of male attention, so we can afford to be picky. There is someone else we can date if it's not working out with one man.
     
  5. ConstantComment

    ConstantComment New Member

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    I was feeling like a one date wonder myself. So men are discerning. I went on three dates with a guy this January, so now I feel relieved. But now he's India. My friends and I think he might fulflling an arranged marriage agreement.
     
  6. petite

    petite New Member

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    I'm so sorry, dear! It sounds like you need to meet more men!
     
  7. B_crackoff

    B_crackoff New Member

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    It's the same with attractive guys. I've always slept with people on a 1st date - why else see them? If you're charming enough, I guess your genes & looks appear better, & then it's a simple case of closing the deal.

    You find out far quicker in the sack if you want to see them again.

    As for the article, most of the reasons would have weeded a guy out before a second glance!:rocketwhore:
     
  8. D_Czarova Zucchini

    D_Czarova Zucchini New Member

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    and yet they tend to end up with emotionally-unavailable, stupid, abusive jerks.

    :rolleyes:
     
  9. petite

    petite New Member

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    That doesn't work out so well for women. If you get a reputation for sleeping with men on the first date, then you actually get less attention from the men that you want attention from.

    It's true that once a woman becomes attached to someone, she's willing to put up with a lot. Loyalty seems to be innate in a lot of women, and that means that men who don't deserve it often have women who could do better.
     
  10. nicenycdick

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    Hey, maybe I'm just old-fashioned...but I think it's just that men want sex and then love and women want love and then sex. Not true for all, of course, but I believe that this is the root of all of our relationship misunderstandings...
     
  11. B_crackoff

    B_crackoff New Member

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    I think you've misunderstood, "If you're charming enough, I guess your genes & looks appear better,& then it's a simple case of closing the deal"

    It's men sort of beguiling women, & we all know 20% of men sleep with 80% of the women. If you've got to a date, Women aren't that picky once they're "romanced"& the horones & chemistry get going. Oddly I was crap at sales - I didn't believe in the product, but with women... A lot of guys aren't confident, or are a little bit needy or desperate & women hate that. And women also want their man to be "a catch". It's all perceptions & impressions, & suspension of disbelief, which are normally wrong long term, alas for both sexes.
     
  12. petite

    petite New Member

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    The more a "catch" a man is, the less likely I am to sleep with him on the first date because I want him to value me and not make assumptions that I behave the same way with other men.

    For example, let me use TheBoyfriend, who is considered the "best catch" among both mine and his friend's groups. He's not only gorgeous, he's also intelligent, sweet, well-mannered, funny, successful, hard-working, and has enormous potential to become extremely wealthy. I was so attracted to him from the first time that I met him, that when I was invited to go swimming with him and a whole bunch of our friends at a hotel, I didn't go because I was sure that if he made any move toward me, I'd sleep with him, and the set-up was too perfect for that to happen. (He later revealed to me that he had set up the entire swim trip in an effort to get me into bed. He thought that if my friends went along that I would feel "safe" and I would surely go. He told me he had been extremely "frustrated" that the gambit had failed because he was sure that it would work, but he had fun anyway.) If you ask him, he'll still say that he wishes that we had starting sleeping together when we first met, but I don't think we'd be living together now and committed the way we are now.
     
    #12 petite, Mar 12, 2010
    Last edited: Mar 12, 2010
  13. ConstantComment

    ConstantComment New Member

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    ****The more a "catch" a man is, the less likely I am to sleep with him on the first date because I want him to value me and not make assumptions that I behave the same way with other men.****

    I think this way too. If I were to go to bed with a guy really soon, it's because I don't see a future with him and I just want sex. It's all because I feel confident that you're out of my social circle so you won't get in the way of my attracting other men. I have been in siutations in which guys have cock blocked approaching men. This is why I have fewer and fewer guy pals.....because they really aren't.

    ****It's men sort of beguiling women, & we all know 20% of men sleep with 80% of the women.**** This can be a real disservice for women, or some of them anyway. A woman who beds a guy who is 10 may start to believe that they can get a 10 for a long term relationship and then hold out.

    On "ask men", a woman admitted that she was doing online dating and intimate encounters. She noticed that the caliber of "resumes" and looks of the men who contacted her for encounters were much higher than those of the men who contacted for proper online dating.

    This is why when a woman marriage minded with a guy she really needs to hold out and see if he can love her for "who she is."
     
  14. petite

    petite New Member

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    I've actually slept with a lot of men (in my personal opinion) but it's not well known because I wouldn't be so stupid as to have one night stands with men who could damage my reputation!

    Exactly! Regardless of what you men say about how sex affects how you judge women, men don't want to marry someone their own friends think are "too easy."
     
    #14 petite, Mar 12, 2010
    Last edited: Mar 12, 2010
  15. dolfette

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    i'm not going to enjoy sex with a virtual stranger.
    am i going to have sex i don't like or want, just because it's the preferred method of choosing partners these days? urm...no.

    if, on the very first date, i pick up on a something that i know will mean i won't get on with this person then why bother with sex or second dates? i don't owe him sex just because we went on a date, and a second date with someone i've realised i'll never want to sleep with is a waste of both our time.
     
  16. petite

    petite New Member

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    Yeah, I just re-read what I wrote before and I inadvertently made it sound as though I would sleep with any man who I didn't think was a good catch! God, no! But I have had a few one night stands in my life, one in Las Vegas once, a few handsome strangers, another one with an acquaintance that was so good that I wanted to repeat it but I felt that he might be too indiscreet so I never did, a few with male friends who I knew wouldn't "talk" about it because they didn't want to ruin our friendship by doing so.

    I've slept with more men than most women, and it's been my experience that with the man with whom I've been in long term relationships, they're not bothered with the actual fact that I've slept with a lot of men as long as I've been discreet about it.
     
  17. B_quietguy

    B_quietguy New Member

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    I've noticed the same thing about women on dating sites versus women on hookup-for-sex sites. I get a lot more attention on the latter, and the women are often very interesting to converse with. They aren't putting on airs and nervously trying to be somebody else like many women on "proper" dating websites. They are more likely to be their natural selves. On OkCupid, I get a mix of the two.
     
  18. B_quietguy

    B_quietguy New Member

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    It's my opinion that men who are sweet, well-mannered, and intelligent are much more likely to become financially successful than men who are inconsiderate, rough, and stupid.
     
  19. B_crackoff

    B_crackoff New Member

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    Hahahahahahahahahahahah! What planet are you on? The last one was a bit axiomatic though.

    If you mean moderately successful, but a fantastic, & thoughtful companion yes. But really, you don't become very successful employment wise without a certain tunnel vision, & ruthless streak. Maybe these guys are kittens when they come home, because they're exhausted after ripping so many people apart during the day. You only know a person's character when the sh*t hits the fan!

    Oddly enough, all of you (apologies to Dolfette - never you) mention money! It seems a lot is forgiven in the sight of it!

    My Uncle is 59, & in good shape, but managed to lose all his fortune in a divorce. He still manages to attract women in their 20s! because he is well dressed, charming - but mainly cause he plausibly tells them he's got a farmhouse in Europe! He dumps them before they find out the truth!

    I couldn't do it, but it serves the women right for just seeing $$$$s! They'd ditch him soon after they'd got their claws on it!
     
  20. petite

    petite New Member

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    If I have no interest in getting to know someone that way, and they're discreet and you're single and attracted, then I don't see a reason not to just sleep with them if you want.

    I seriously believe that we wouldn't be where we are now if I had just gone swimming with him and jumped in the sack. I don't know that he would have taken me as seriously, he wouldn't have gotten to know me first and I wouldn't have gotten to know him first and I'm not sure if we ever would have the way that we did.

    I honestly believe our relationship was a lot more exciting because it took so much longer before we had sex. I very fondly think of the beginning of our romance, because it was so exciting and romantic and thrilling, and we would have missed out on all of it if we had slept together sooner.

    I think we had the perfect romance. You have no idea how many sentimental memories I have! I wouldn't trade it in! I don't think I made any bad choices there.

    You don't know what you're talking about. At all.

    He's already extremely successful, more successful than any of our friends, but his potential is amazing. He's on his way. And I know exactly what he's like in business, because we work together a lot, and it's universally agreed among all the people he works with and friends that he's the nicest person you'll ever meet.
     
    #20 petite, Mar 12, 2010
    Last edited: Mar 12, 2010
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