Why? I'm serious, is there a reason why? Surely your wife knows about your dissatisfaction, right?
The reasons are:
1. She got pregnant in December 07. No sex during pregnancy.
2. She gave birth (C-section this time) in August '08. Not much difference in terms of not wanting/not able to have sex post-vaginal birth.
3. After trying and stopping one time in January '09, we finally copulated in June '09. Then in October '09, she found out I had a one-night stand when I had to fly to Portland for a couple of nights due to work back in January '09. So, nothing since.
Now, as far as other reasons, you would hear very different things from us. I generally think that she suffers from depression, has major body image issues due to the fact she is morbidly obese, is always tired (see the preceding items), thinks that our situation is common, does not know how to relax, and more-or-less has no sex drive. (Of course, then again, around April-June 2009 she was telling me about conversations with one of her co-workers where she said they discussed how they want to have sex but not with their spouse--in joking terms, but still....hmmm, there was also a Hitachi Masgic Wand bought in there somewhere although she has hardly made use of it in that way).
On her side, she would say that she is tried of being responsible for 'everything' and having to think about 'everything' all the time, on top of having a demanding job (Lawyer with the Attorney General's office). This drains her mentally so that she is tried and just wants sleep, not sex. Everything would pertain mostly to food preparation and planning. It also pertains to her feeling like she initiates laundry, cleaning this and that, etc. I admit that she does all the dinner cooking and meal planning, but I do all the clean up except for the nights where I give the kids a bath after dinner and she doesn;t want to wait for me to finish. In fact, I believe her non-recognition of my contributions relates mainly to her "You didn't do it how I would do it so now I have to do it myself" mentality. A side note example of her taking care of 'everything' would be our Thanksgiving travels this weekend: she, by far, did most of the packing. She also had last Friday and today (Wednesday) off from work.
As for your last question, Petite, I honestly don't think so. You would think that me cheating on her might be an indication, particularly when I said I did it because I just wanted to have sex, but no, I don't think she gets it. That's on me for not expressing it enough, I suppose. But I really don't see the point of being a nag on the issue. Not to mention I really don;t want to have sex with her if she's just appeasing me and not because she *wants* to.
