Does your attraction/love for/interest in your partner affect your ability to orgasm?

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by Ramsey, Apr 2, 2011.

  1. Ramsey

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    Obviously if you are really attracted to someone or in love with someone it will affect your arousal with them. But, does it make it easier for you to orgasm?
     
  2. petite

    petite New Member

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    For me it does.
     
  3. Kotchanski

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    Not for me...

    It may change the feel of the orgasm, it may give added feelings to it, but it has no effect on my ability to actually reach it.
     
  4. Countryguy63

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    It actually takes me longer, which sometimes is good, and sometimes is a pain in the ass :mad:

    In my experience, whenever I was single and just looking for hook-ups, it was a pretty quick "wham, bam, thank you m'aam (or sir, depending). However in every serious relationship that I have had, be it my ex-wife, gf, or current partner, it seems to take forever.

    It's good in a way, but sometimes "quickies" would be nice to be able to slip in once in a while :cool:
     
  5. xX_Sarah_Xx

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    Hmm... not an easy question for me. It depends on so many things not involving the guy. Hormones, time of the year, things that are on my mind, stress, distractions...

    Also really depends on my kind of orgasm. There's the quicky-orgasm, to just get off. The way it's achieved doesn't really change, emotions don't really play a part in it. I don't even have to be aroused much to get it. I just want the orgasm to get the edge off and be able to function again properly, without being distracted all the time. So easy, quick, but not really fulfilling.

    To get the big ones, my mind has to be in it completely. Any thoughts, feelings, emotions, things happening play a big part in that. When there's a guy in my life that is "playing my mind", both on emotional and a conscious level, the orgasm can be amazing.

    So I guess no, it doesn't really make it "easier". It makes it different.
    There's orgasms and Orgasms. I definitely prefer the second kind.
     
  6. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    Love? No.

    Attraction? Yes, if the attraction resulted in physical arousal (as opposed to the attraction that just stays in your mind).
     
  7. LaFemme

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    I orgasm pretty easily whether I'm in love or not; however, if I'm in love with someone and I start to feel him pulling away from me emotionally - or if I feel him losing interest in me, then I start to lose my ability to cum. And if the relationship ends, it takes awhile before I am able to revive my libido again.

    But at maximum love/attraction? The orgasms are sweeter, longer, more frequent and better than any at any other time. I think it's because my lover knows my body so well at that point and I am so relaxed that I can completely let go. Mmmm.....heaven!
     
  8. HiddenLacey

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    I know inside a relationship when I want to be with him and I love him everything feels right and I'm a combination of relaxed and excited. I notice every brush of his hands and the wonderful feeling of his skin against mine. I can't even put it into words, it's unbelievable. Call it love, attraction or lust, I need to mentally relax with him or physicially I'm never going to get there.

    If things are bad in the relationship, I'm uneasy around him, I feel awkward, etc. I'd rather not even do it. There's no spark, no feeling, mentally I have this huge wall up and nothing he does will get me there. I have zero ability to relax and just feel the moment. I have to feel something for the person to even want sex. ONS's are out for me, because I've never met someone that makes me feel crazy for them immediately.
     
  9. AlteredEgo

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    It is easier for me to orgasm if a guy is ridiculously hot, or we have unusually high chemistry. Usually, I really just want to roll over and sleep after sex, but if my partner looks like he could be a movie star, or we just have that spark together, I could (and have) lay that guy all night.
     
  10. IntoxicatingToxin

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    For me personally, yes. It affects it big time. If I'm not attracted to you, I'm not going to be getting aroused. End of story.
     
  11. RawDog

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    It's unfortunate that this isn't in the "Relationships" sub-forum. I'd be interested in how guys responded to this one and compare and contrast it with the women's responses.
     
  12. petite

    petite New Member

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    I agree. The OP didn't explicitly state that he's only interested in women's opinions, but placing it in this sub-forum indicates that he intended it as a "Ask a Woman" kind of question.

    I don't know how other women feel, but I personally welcome your opinion on any thread in the WI sub-forum. Your dedication and level of education about the vagina and women's sexual experiences, as well as the quality of your posts, they make your contributions some of the best in this sub-forum, IMO.
     
  13. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    I don't think ANYONE would be surprised to find that I feel the same way :biggrin1:.
     
  14. RawDog

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    You two are really sweet. Thank you for the compliment.

    I have very little input on this matter, really. I was just curious as to the difference in quality of orgasm as it relates to degree of interest coupled with gender.

    The only thing that comes to mind for me was this FB I once hooked up with. She and I had so-so chemistry and we were both quite horny that lonely Christmas. We got together and I thought the sex would be somewhat lackluster. That is until I got inside her.

    Her vagina and my cock just unbelievably clicked together. I can't really explain how or why, but my orgasms were mindblowing and the bond was deep and strong *while* we were fucking. When we were done, we just had very little to talk about and I still had a lot of baggage from my previous relationship to really get into another one right off the bat.
     
  15. helgaleena

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    Duh, yes.
     
  16. D_Kitten_Kaboodle

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    I can relate. There must be a physical attraction/chemistry before I would even consider having sex with someone. So yes, it is easy for me to reach orgasm. But when Love is added to the mix, it's a different kind of experience (totally). Emotions become involved which make the O deeper, not necessarily quicker.

    I am multi-orgasmic and cum easily and often... in most any situation. First, there is a mental interest (I'm highly attracted to intelligent guys that can carry their end of the conversation), if that works and there is physical chemistry....the sex would be mind-shattering. Love is reserved for only one man in my life. (read my blog):smile:

    I know that doesn't make sense to a lot of you, but don't judge me, and I won't judge you :tongue:
     
  17. D_Tam_Ponds

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    What she said.
     
  18. helgaleena

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    I will add more words... the simple THOUGHT of one that I truly love can give me an orgasm. Not the giant size one, but a bonafide detonation. Brains are wonderful organs.
     
  19. Gecko4lif

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    I only cum for chicks I like. It is a neat parlor trick though.
     
  20. helgaleena

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    Gecko, what do you keep up your sleeves? :tongue:
     
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