Does your gf/wife enjoy giving you blowjobs?

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by dasizeinquest, Dec 30, 2007.

  1. dasizeinquest

    dasizeinquest New Member

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    I was wondering how many guys out there get blow jobs from either your wife or gf? Is it something that she does only to please you or does she do it because she enjoys it as well?

    For the women: you can also answer this question.

    My current gf, who I have been w/ for a long time (2.5 years and counting) hates giving bjs and I dont know what to do. She says she does not enjoy giving them and a lot she says has to do w/ the fact that her ex bf forced her head down on his penis while she was giving him head. Any advice?
     
  2. sex101

    sex101 Member

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    i love bj and have never had a prob with a girlfriend not wanting to, my current gf who i have bn with just over a month has no problems.
     
  3. Mandee

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    I LOVE giving head... but I hate it when a guy holds onto my head and forces it down or when they hover over me and fuck my mouth. When I'm giving head I like for the guy to lay back and let me be in charge.... I give amazing head if you'll just let me do it. I can understand why she hates giving head though.... I would hate it too if I had been forced to do it!!
     
  4. GPTX

    GPTX New Member

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    As a gay man it's hard for me to understand why women don't like bj's, but it's a common problem for women. I've talked to several of my female co-workers and most say they just don't like it. I think with at least one of them, I've determined that she doesn't like it because she feels she doesn't know what she's doing. I've encouraged her to try, because her husband would probably be more than willing to tell her what to do, just to get her down there. Good luck!
     
  5. B_cigarbabe

    B_cigarbabe New Member

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    Me,I give amazing head,plus I like doing it,and I'm with a man who also loves men.
    Just because he forced her,is not IMO, a reason for her to hate it even now.
    It's been two and a half years,since that happened to her.Are you forcing her head down? No? Then perhaps having her talk to someone, could help.
    Should she refuse,and this isn't something you can compromise on,find someone who is willing to give you head,when you want it. I'm not advocating leaving her,just find someone, for head.
    I would. If I was in your position.
    cigarbabe:saevil:
     
  6. silverdust

    silverdust New Member

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    she enjoys doing it. its even her who wants to give bj without me asking
     
  7. B_Italian1

    B_Italian1 New Member

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    I can't say I blame her since her ex was so forceful with her. There's nothing worse than being forced to do something you don't want to do. The most important thing you can do is be really clean down there. Maybe take a shower together to assure her that you are clean. You could mention to her that you'd like her to go down on you, but you don't want to pressure her and you respect her.

    If you have a hairy pubic area you could ask her if she wants it trimmed. She may be turned off by hair. Tell her to take her time and concentrate on the shaft and balls first. Then if she's comfortable with that, have her put just the head in her mouth. When she's doing all of this make sure you are gentle and loving with her. Rub a hand through her hair and gently caress her body. Tell her how much you love her and how good it feels. Stroke her breasts and lightly tug on her nipples. Rub her butt, gently massage her vaginal lips, and slowly work on getting her clit aroused. You could try a 69 position where she is on top. That way you'd be giving her pleasure, and she could decide just how much she wants to do with your dick

    If none of this works, it's likely she's just not into giving oral at this time. It doesn't mean she'll never do it, but it could be that the way her ex treated her is still on her mind.

    If you love this woman I wouldn't advise going elsewhere for a blow job. I don't think you'd appreciate her cheating on you. If you're in an open relationship, that's something entirely different if she's okay with it.

    A gay man would find that hard to understand. :tongue:
     
  8. rob_just_rob

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    Suggestions? I'd say to try 69ing with her and to suggest to her that she can do as much as she feels like. If she's on top of you, and you're licking her, she may find she likes it more in the heat of the moment and when she's more in control.

    If she is at all willing to try, make sure that she's in a position of control - e.g. you lying on your back - so she won't be under the impression that you're forcing her.
     
  9. B_Hickboy

    B_Hickboy New Member

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    Of all the women I've met in the last 4 years or so who bragged about their oral skills, only one can actually make me cum in her mouth. While that's not her best attribute by a long shot, it is some very nice icing on a super delicious cake. I'm sticking with her.
     
  10. Not_Punny

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    Well, in my opinion, you're going to have to choose - her or bj's. 2.5 years is enough time to recover from her ex-bf, and if she hasn't "recovered" by now, chances are she won't.

    Personally, I think she's just using the ex-bf as an excuse.
     
  11. Hockeytiger

    Hockeytiger Active Member

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    My wife has always enjoyed going down on me, though, alas, I'm a bit too thick to get past her teeth so in one sense they aren't true blowjobs I guess. It is more than just the blow job itself. She enjoys giving me that pleasure, but she also enjoys worshiping my cock.

    It is very understandable from your GF's point of view why she is reluctant to do them. It looks like she, understandably, has trust issues. As such, that is how I would tackle the issue.

    1) Don't pressure her too much in this regard. Tell her that you understand and that while you want blowjobs you want her to feel comfortable. Get her to trust you completely in a sexual way. If she felt really violated, it might be very difficult. Too much pressure violates the trust you already have.

    2) For the time being, seek a happy medium. Have her lick your dick and balls, without much oral penetration.

    3) If she does go down on you in any way, put your hands behind your head and just enjoy it. Do not put your hands on her head or any part of her body. Let her control the situation.

    4) Make sure that she knows how important this is to you, but that you understand and, at least for the time being, are willing to compromise. Most women genuinely want to do this, but some either believe only sluts do it, or in your case, have trust issues stemming from previous experiences. You need to work hard on developing a trusting sexual relationship. If she understands how important this is to you, but that you understand her feelings and want to respect them, that may help build the trust relationship needed to make it work. Also, you may want to avoid physically dominating her much during intercourse as that may be playing into this somewhat as well. Again trust must be nurtured.

    5) Understand that it may never work out they way you want it to, and if so, you will have to choose between her and the BJ's. (You would not necessarily be a bad person if you chose the BJ's. People have a right to be a little selfish.)
     
  12. B_Italian1

    B_Italian1 New Member

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    That's shallow to say the least. I'm sure after over 2 years together she's more to him than just getting a bj. After all, there are other sexual activities to enjoy and other qualities about a person than what they can do for you. :rolleyes:
     
  13. Not_Punny

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    True, but the rest of his advice was good. I was too lazy to write something similar... :eek::wink:
     
  14. dasizeinquest

    dasizeinquest New Member

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    I have tried to ask her if she would be into the 69 thing....that did not work either. She has tried to turn things around and blame it on me because....since I dont like hairy pussies...and since my gf wont shave for me....that I wont like eating her pussy while we have 69
     
  15. Not_Punny

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    I was going to suggest making it more of a game...

    Like get some miracle whip or a really excellent dessert like Tiramisu and let her lick it off your dick or something.

    But to me, it's starting to sound more and more like a power struggle -- if she won't shave, and you won't eat hair pie, and she won't go down on you.... yikes.

    I'm sure many people would disagree, but I think sex ought to be fun.
     
  16. Hockeytiger

    Hockeytiger Active Member

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    It is up to the OP to determine what is best for his own personal satisfaction, not you or me. If lack of BJ's mean so much to him that he can't be happy without them, then he ought to leave. Only he really knows whether it is really that important. Accepting a certain amount of selfishness in ourselves and others is an important part of being human. That is being realistic. It is sad but true. If you want to call that shallow, so be it.
     
  17. Hockeytiger

    Hockeytiger Active Member

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    Agreed. Lots of problems here. It looks like there are a lot more problems than some sexual dissatisfaction.
     
  18. dasizeinquest

    dasizeinquest New Member

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    yea from early on in our relationship I have found out she does not really like to shave her pussy. she has given me numerous reasons for this. I always figured I can get her eventually to do the things I like sexually but it seems not to be working for me.

     
  19. RedScrotum

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    She simply may not like to suck cock, and simply never will. she's using her old bf as an excuse. It's her perogitive. accept it, and enjoy a lifetime without blow jobs.
     
  20. Not_Punny

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    My mom once gave me an excellent piece of advice: Take a girl/guy as-is -- not for what you hope they will be.
     
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