Does Your Soulmate/Ideal Partner Like The Same Things As You?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by B_ScaredLittleBoy, Jun 24, 2007.

  1. B_ScaredLittleBoy

    B_ScaredLittleBoy New Member

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    Just wondering...thinking the likelihood of someone liking the same things I do or trying to/wanting to understand me is quite low.

    But for those with their perfect partners or with a different outlook - does your "soulmate" like the same things as you etc? Or can they be quite opposite to you while you still have a deep emotional connection/love for them?

    Thanks. Gonna make a cup a soup now lol :smile:
     
  2. viking1

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    Not many people have a "perfect partner."

    You just haven't found the right one, or one that's even close. If they don't share some of your interests or want to understand your personality.
    There is no way you can love someone and not do that to some degree.

    I do think you have a better chance of finding that "special someone" than I do. If for no other reason, you are more than 25 years younger. Believe me,
    25 years is a loooong time.

    It will happen for you, don't sweat it too much. That only makes it harder.:smile:
     
  3. biguy2738

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    You have made me sad - your words are like a blow to the gut. Whatever has led you to the place where you think that noone would try or want to understand you? By saying that, you are saying that there is nothing pleasant, interesting or appealing. I don't quite think that it's true, so quit thinking that - you are selling yourself short! :wink:

    I like to think that my wife and I are deeply connected on an emotional level as well as by our love. Yet, we are alike in some aspects and there are others where we entirely different. I am extrovert, she's introvert. I'm the clown, she's serious. She's emotional and I'm practical. We have some very different tastes in music, movie and book genres and even with that, she'd rather watch a movie where I'd rather read.

    However we are also very simple people (and not as in 6 beers short of a 6 pack simple either :biggrin1: ), we are both sensitive, gentle, kind and caring people. We appreciate the small things in life. We both love the outdoors and going for long walks on the beach. Come to think of it, our tastes have more differences than commonalities.

    I think that what works for us is that we share the same values and concentrate on the things that we have in common, while making compromises for each other's differences, like I'll choose the movie but it will fall under one of the genres that she enjoys.

    I am still taken aback by the way I've struggled to come up with things that we have in common. I guess that we've focused so much on the good stuff that we haven't noticed that we are so very different.
     
  4. whatireallywant

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    I have found mine - unfortunately, he is happily married and has been since before I met him. And NO, I did not have sex with him! (purely platonic...I'm not a homewrecker) But yes, this guy does have similar views and interests to mine, even doesn't want kids! He even is physically attractive (to me), and I've "heard" that he is very well endowed too.

    I keep looking for his twin, only single...haven't found anyone like that yet, and I'm 44. He is the ONLY one I have met who fits it all.

    I have had a long term relationship (yes, only one, despite my age. I spent most of my adult life with no relationships at all). He is somewhat compatible, with the similar (for the most part) views and interests, not wanting kids, etc. But he has some problems that get in the way.
     
  5. viking1

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    It is comforting to know that I am not the only one with these feelings and problems meeting someone.

    It's also saddenning to hear of others feeling this way. I wouldn't wish this hopless, lonely feeling on my worst enemy. My thoughts are with you, they truly are.:smile:
     
  6. D_Joseba_Guntertwat

    D_Joseba_Guntertwat New Member

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    I found my dream woman a few years ago. Unfortunately she turned out to be a bit of a bitch, but apart from that we had lots in common. I don't speak to her now, and I'm looking for another.
     
  7. jeff black

    jeff black <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    You know, the great thing about soulmates, I think.... is the fact that you don't HAVE to like the exact same things. My particular take on soulmates is just the idea that they are alike as people but "complete" each other.
     
  8. B_ScaredLittleBoy

    B_ScaredLittleBoy New Member

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    feelthegirth, I thought you were going to say she turned out to be a man, now THAT would be funny :biggrin1:

    Anyway, I just am having a phase of loneliness. I want my ex girlfriend even though she's really not as good (for me) or as good of a person as I make her out to be in my mind. Maybe I just want someone. Someone who appreciates lyrics and words the way I do and won't think I'm 'weird'. Someone to inspire me. I dunno.

    I also have a real problem expressing myself to people through spoken word(s)...and its starting to get to me! lol. I guess I just want to know there are other people who feel the way I do. That would be comforting. :smile:

    Ah well...
     
  9. Kassokilleri2ff

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    I got the same problem. I dont think ill ever find anybody whos right for meeee :(
     
  10. viking1

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    Sure you will! Everybody feels that way when they are young. You've got plenty of time to find the right one.:wink:
     
  11. B_ScaredLittleBoy

    B_ScaredLittleBoy New Member

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    Anyway people, keep the thread going. Support each other and give hope in the pursuit for happiness and a celestial coupling. I just had a nice chat with a member that eased my mind and allowed me to write a song :smile:

    Could be No.1... :biggrin1:
     
  12. Knight Attrition

    Knight Attrition New Member

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    Personally I feel lost in general. I've been with this girl for 5 years but I just can't bring myself to propose to her. There is a certain quality to our relationship that I can't describe but it bothers me. At the same time I can't leave her, I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I did.

    We do have a lot in common, she even took up watching Star Trek because I am a huge trekkie. I suppose the big problem is that is so withdrawn sexually. I want to try new things and be a little crazy sometimes. She on the other hand wants to do it 1-3 times a week in the bedroom without mixing it up in anyway just like we've done for the last 4 years. I think that sex should never be described as boring but thats what it is, its always the same.

    At the appartments that we live in are at least 50 smoking hot girls my age, and I wonder if I would be happier with them or if I am just thinking with my dick. I don't know what to do.

    Oh well I've avoided making tough decisions my whole life why change now?
     
  13. invisibleman

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    People are different. A soulmate doesn't necessarily have to like and love everything you do. Vice-versa. You don't necessarily have to do the same. Relationships are a lot of work, period. Both people have to work at being together. If one decides not to be with the other, then, the other will have to deal with the disappointment (a heartbreak) of the one with the change of heart.

    If you are dissimilar, are there interests that you would like to share with your partner? Are they interested in learning? Are there interests that your partner has that you would like to learn that are dissimilar? Are you interested in learning them? Make a "learning" date based on those dissimilar interests.


     
  14. invisibleman

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    Personally I feel lost in general. I've been with this girl for 5 years but I just can't bring myself to propose to her. There is a certain quality to our relationship that I can't describe but it bothers me.

    Well, you had better think about what IT is and sit down with your partner and discuss it. If you don't wanna marry her, tell her. There are men out there that would be happy to marry her. She just has to get over you to do so. At the same time I can't leave her, I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I did.

    We do have a lot in common, she even took up watching Star Trek because I am a huge trekkie. I suppose the big problem is that is so withdrawn sexually. I want to try new things and be a little crazy sometimes. She on the other hand wants to do it 1-3 times a week in the bedroom without mixing it up in anyway just like we've done for the last 4 years. I think that sex should never be described as boring but thats what it is, its always the same.

    You should be able to tell your partner about your sexual needs. Tell her what you would like done differently. But if you aren't interested in marrying her, you SHOULD let her know. There are other guys who may want to marry her.

    At the appartments that we live in are at least 50 smoking hot girls my age, and I wonder if I would be happier with them or if I am just thinking with my dick. I don't know what to do.

    Maybe, you are doing "the grass is greener" perspective. Yeah, you could be happier with those other 50 "smoking hot" girls in your apartment building. Question is: Are you happy with your partner? If you love her, you should talk to her. You should be upfront with her.
    Maybe there are 50 "smoking hot" guys in the apartment building she'd really love to "meet" and you guys could trade off. (Or you could sit down and talk about the pluses and the minuses of your relationship. I am sure that you have things she needs from you that you aren't handling either.)

    I know many people who have dropped a love due to sexual boredom and look back at it as a mistake. Those girls weren't so "smoking hot" or those guys weren't so "smoking hot", after all. That partner (who I dumped) was actually right for me. If only, I had talked about things.

    Oh well I've avoided making tough decisions my whole life why change now?
     
  15. dreamer20

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    I hope that you aren't looking for your partner to be "perfect". We all have our flaws, likes and dislikes. In a partnership we learn things about each other and adapt to living with another individual. The deep emotional connection and love will ensure that the partnership lasts although there may be times of discord and disagreements within it.


    YouTube - Gladys Knight (1974)"Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me"
     
  16. Now

    Now New Member

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    I don't really care if me and my boyfriend and that much alike, I kinda think we are soulmathes, ore somthing, I did'nt really belive inn it before, but we har so perfect for ethother, and sometimes you just know.
    We have som things and interest in commen, and some we don't.
    But I will do things he like, and he will do things I like, becuse I love him, and he loves me.
    It's always funn to be whit him, no mather what we are doing, and that's most innportant for me.
     
  17. whatireallywant

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    You may want to find one who is not a bitch next time. :biggrin1:
     
  18. Mr. Snakey

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    It is important in a relationship to have common interests. It is also important that people dont do without their freedom to do the things they love . Kim likes her tv and i like the internet. She is usually abot 10 ft away watching tv while im on here.:smile:
     
  19. DC_DEEP

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    I will cast my vote with Jeff and Uncut... you have to have some common interests, and some individual interests. It's all about balance.

    My partner and I have things we enjoy together, and other things that one enjoys, but the other does not. More importantly, though, is that our strengths and weaknesses complement (not compliment...) each other. In a social setting, I'm more shy and he's more outgoing, but I'm the one who remembers names. I guess that's called synergy - the sum of us is greater than both of the individuals.
     
  20. solexes

    solexes New Member

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    I've dated many people = and have had boyfriends and girlfriends - but when I met my soulmate - I knew - in that moment of meeting what we were - and still are to each other.

    There was something about Jonathan when I met him - that I knew right away that we would both impact each other's lives greatly - and that no matter what would happen in the future we knew what we would have together - would be something that no one would EVER be able to replace.

    We were together for 7 years when our lives finally took seperate turns. I'm a stable guy who likes living in the Rual areas in this funky little town - and he's a big city guy. In the almost 3 years since he's left though, we still connect and are connected. We talk - have fun - an hang out every now and then. He has a new boyfriend - and I'm happily single right now. Both of us understand that anyone else in our lives are only "partners" or "spouses" but not soulmates.

    I can say it didn't make someone I was with very happy to hear that - but when they brought up they I was their soulmate - I had to be honest and say I didn't feel that way about them. Sure I loved him and it was all great - but in the end I will not be dishonest about what I feel.

    I know that a lot of people will think its wierd that I will call someone who is my soulmate my soulmate when I am not with him - and we are not together. But its something that goes beyond any type of explantation that is ordinary.

    As far as what was he like in relation to me? The same. Same tastes in music, food, fun, sex - etc the only big difference was where we liked to live. In the end though - it isn't about the likes or dislikes. There were times I disagreed with him entirely - but that isn't what makes someone a soulmate. Its a connection that goes deep. I also know more than one soulmate can exist for any one person. I think I may have found another - and I hope I'm right. LOL.
     
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