foozballnow: hey guys, im a new poster. Im not a monster though about 8". Im 20 and my gf is 19. we have been having sex for about 2 years now and it got off to a rough start. I was constantly ripping or cutting, however you want to say it, her in the process of entering her. we have since fixed that. we dont use condoms and we use KY evertime. I was reading chicago1155's post about painful sex and i remembered something. We cant have sex doggy style. Or any style with her legs to close together for that matter. She says it hurts when we do it doggy. And complete penetration in any position is a no no. Doggy i have to leave like 2 inches out or she says it feels like im pushing on her stomach. we are very serious, possibly a wedding, although this bothers me. someitmes i want to have crazy sex but i cant. ive only had one other sexual partner and i basically used her so i knew it hurt but didnt care. i dont want to break things off because i feel like its my fault. or is it hers. Am i cursed to doing the same old boring positions because of my size, or is there a girl out there that can accomodate me. she says i will always have the problem, but you see people in porn in stuff and it goes in so easy. sorry to ramble but im frustrated. what do i do, or can i even do anything about the pain. I LOVE doggy i dont want to give it up. BTW, i have no idea what my girth is but my gf and the other partner both said the 8" length is nothing, its the girth that kills them. im guessing im pushing 6-7 inches in girth. ballpark
fooz, I'm about 8", too, and very thick.
One thing I've found is that the extra width affects the depth of penetration such that a thinner 8-incher will go farther in than a thicker one. Get used to the fact that you will have to be extra careful when you reach certain depths in various positions. The way the vagina has to stretch to accomodate you makes the vagina's depth shorter.
Another thing we've talked about on LPSG is the 'donut,' a soft ring that fits comfortably around the base of the penis that keeps you from penetrating too deeply. You might consider finding some of these on the internet.
One thing I've found is that the extra width affects the depth of penetration such that a thinner 8-incher will go farther in than a thicker one. Get used to the fact that you will have to be extra careful when you reach certain depths in various positions. The way the vagina has to stretch to accomodate you makes the vagina's depth shorter.
Another thing we've talked about on LPSG is the 'donut,' a soft ring that fits comfortably around the base of the penis that keeps you from penetrating too deeply. You might consider finding some of these on the internet.
foozballnow:
so basically what you are saying is that it will hurt doggy style no matter who im with and that its not just my gf. great, just great. oh i measure my girth its 6 1/4 or so
so basically what you are saying is that it will hurt doggy style no matter who im with and that its not just my gf. great, just great. oh i measure my girth its 6 1/4 or so
godiluvabig1
1st Like
you won't necessarily have that problem no matter who you are with... some women can just take more than others... the advice i can give you is that if you love her (and i'm sure you do, since you mentioned a possible wedding...), and she loves you, i'm sure ya'll can come to a compromise on the situation (for example, try the donut idea for starters, and if it helps, get her to try it in other positions... and i, for one, understand how boring the same positions get after time...) cuz, you see, when you love someone, things may not always fit together perfectly (no pun intended), so you learn to compromise to make things work out just right...
Dude, if you think that not being able to pound her doggystyle is a reason to end the relationship, then she should break up with you.
Seriously, get a donut and/or work on new positions.
Seriously, get a donut and/or work on new positions.
pdrprst: Fooz, I feel your pain. I'm almost the exact same dimensions as you and the fact of the matter is, some girls love and some have to get used to it. Certain positions are just out of the question with the girls that have to get used to it.
Doggy style is a tough one, I modify it by pushing her hips down on the bed so that I'm kind of bending in from behind. It's less length that she has to take and a lot more pressure on her g-spot. It let's you get a little rougher without hurting her or feeling like you're fucking on eggshells.
And if you ever want to see what it feels like to be thrown across the room like a rag doll you can try to put her legs back by her head. :wacko:
Doggy style is a tough one, I modify it by pushing her hips down on the bed so that I'm kind of bending in from behind. It's less length that she has to take and a lot more pressure on her g-spot. It let's you get a little rougher without hurting her or feeling like you're fucking on eggshells.
And if you ever want to see what it feels like to be thrown across the room like a rag doll you can try to put her legs back by her head. :wacko:
Amen to what Aloof said.
You may want to think of what will pleasure HER, not just YOU. (HELLO!!!
Another thing to consider is CREATIVITY.
I love doggystyle, and it's NOT comfortable all the time, but we are inventive enough to do all kinds of variations and it's GREAT! No complaints here, despite some depth problems for her at times. She is happy as a clam when I get her WARMED UP (also known as FOREPLAY--for us, often for 20 minutes or more). When she's warmed up, she thinks she might be able to take 9 or 10 (and I wish I had a magic extension button on me.)
Don't torture this girl by marrying her, and then realize you are using her, too. Be a little mature about your commitments, dude.
Buff
You may want to think of what will pleasure HER, not just YOU. (HELLO!!!
Another thing to consider is CREATIVITY.
I love doggystyle, and it's NOT comfortable all the time, but we are inventive enough to do all kinds of variations and it's GREAT! No complaints here, despite some depth problems for her at times. She is happy as a clam when I get her WARMED UP (also known as FOREPLAY--for us, often for 20 minutes or more). When she's warmed up, she thinks she might be able to take 9 or 10 (and I wish I had a magic extension button on me.)
Don't torture this girl by marrying her, and then realize you are using her, too. Be a little mature about your commitments, dude.
Buff
Chicago_Swimmer
Sexy Member
Fooz,
Doggy style can sometimes be difficult for my wife me too. I think this thread developed from the description of my own troubles. You are about an inch longer, but we are the same girth 6.25". My wife and I have not had any problems with depth. Some, not all, of our problems do seem to be related to girth. My wife is 5'9" (I'm 6'2"). Is your girlfriend petite? If she is shorter that could be the reason you cannot penetrate her completely.
This problem you both have is in no way related to love. My wife and I have had our troubles with sex, but we amusingly work around it. We are very much in love. Sex is merely frosting on our cake.
Doggy style can sometimes be difficult for my wife me too. I think this thread developed from the description of my own troubles. You are about an inch longer, but we are the same girth 6.25". My wife and I have not had any problems with depth. Some, not all, of our problems do seem to be related to girth. My wife is 5'9" (I'm 6'2"). Is your girlfriend petite? If she is shorter that could be the reason you cannot penetrate her completely.
This problem you both have is in no way related to love. My wife and I have had our troubles with sex, but we amusingly work around it. We are very much in love. Sex is merely frosting on our cake.
I think the information and the advise given here should be taken with a great deal of merit.
Women are not internally antomically the same, at least as it relates to "accomodations." One thing to think about is her psychological disposition. Having sex with you has physically hurt her in the past. Maybe her remembrance of that pain is causing her to tense up, thus making penetration much more unbearable. A lot of variable could be added...
If you both love each other, things will work itself out. That is part of being in a relationship. You both have to commit to it and work collaboratively to find solutions. In time they will come.........
Best of luck!
bb
Women are not internally antomically the same, at least as it relates to "accomodations." One thing to think about is her psychological disposition. Having sex with you has physically hurt her in the past. Maybe her remembrance of that pain is causing her to tense up, thus making penetration much more unbearable. A lot of variable could be added...
If you both love each other, things will work itself out. That is part of being in a relationship. You both have to commit to it and work collaboratively to find solutions. In time they will come.........
Best of luck!
bb
mark&brad: If you love doggy style sex too much to give it up for her, how likely is a marriage?
Originally posted by mark&brad@Feb 11 2005, 09:50 PM
If you love doggy style sex too much to give it up for her, how likely is a marriage?
[post=282099]Quoted post[/post]
EXACTLY!
BTW, love the avatar!
My wife likes to keep me away from doggie because I have bumped her cervix from time to time. :angry: She does'nt have trouble taking my 8.5" x 6" in any other positions so I feel pretty lucky in that aspect.
Try the spoon position, it is alot like doggie but you are on your side, my wife can control the depth by rolling her hips down so I don't go so deep. Once we perfected this she lets me pound her pretty hard sometime without any pain.
Just my 2 cents, J
Try the spoon position, it is alot like doggie but you are on your side, my wife can control the depth by rolling her hips down so I don't go so deep. Once we perfected this she lets me pound her pretty hard sometime without any pain.
Just my 2 cents, J
Hockeytiger
Cherished Member
- Joined
- Sep 14, 2004
- Posts
- 721
- Media
- 0
- Likes
- 308
- Points
- 283
- Location
- Illinois (United States)
- Sexuality
- 69% Straight, 31% Gay
- Gender
- Male
Having a thicker dick creates some challenges. Many women have some difficulty accommodating it, some have no problem, and some simply canât handle it at all. You need to sit down, relax, and really think about this.
#1 Are the two of you sexually compatible?
You seem to prefer sexual acts that your girlfriend does not. You need to ask yourself how important these acts are to you. Over the long term, are you going to be sexually satisfied when not performing them? How hard have you tried to find other positions that give you some of the same sensations without hurting her? In all honesty, why are you STILL dealing with basic sexual compatibility issues when marriage is being discussed? If the two of you still havenât resolved this relatively basic issue to your satisfaction after being sexually active for TWO YEARS, then Iâm not sure the two of you are ready for the big problems that come with marriage. This leads to my second question.
#2 Is the issue here really about sex, or is it something more fundamental?
I find it interesting that the two of you have been together now for two years and you havenât resolved this issue to your satisfaction yet. Successful long term relationships are not about dispute avoidance. They are about dispute resolution. (BTW, that does not necessarily mean getting what you want.) Why is this an issue now? Has it always been bothering you? You expressed quite a bit of sexual frustration in your post. I donât know many men who would go on for two years with that kind of frustration in their lives. Hereâs the point, is this post really about your sexual frustration or is it about creating an excuse to avoid a marriage that you arenât ready for. Only you can answer that question.
#3 I regard this as merely gender reversal of the size queen issue.
I donât condemn the women (or men, I suppose, for that matter) on these boards who claim that they need a âbiggerâ man in order to be truly sexually satisfied. In the same way, I refuse to condemn you.
#1 Are the two of you sexually compatible?
You seem to prefer sexual acts that your girlfriend does not. You need to ask yourself how important these acts are to you. Over the long term, are you going to be sexually satisfied when not performing them? How hard have you tried to find other positions that give you some of the same sensations without hurting her? In all honesty, why are you STILL dealing with basic sexual compatibility issues when marriage is being discussed? If the two of you still havenât resolved this relatively basic issue to your satisfaction after being sexually active for TWO YEARS, then Iâm not sure the two of you are ready for the big problems that come with marriage. This leads to my second question.
#2 Is the issue here really about sex, or is it something more fundamental?
I find it interesting that the two of you have been together now for two years and you havenât resolved this issue to your satisfaction yet. Successful long term relationships are not about dispute avoidance. They are about dispute resolution. (BTW, that does not necessarily mean getting what you want.) Why is this an issue now? Has it always been bothering you? You expressed quite a bit of sexual frustration in your post. I donât know many men who would go on for two years with that kind of frustration in their lives. Hereâs the point, is this post really about your sexual frustration or is it about creating an excuse to avoid a marriage that you arenât ready for. Only you can answer that question.
#3 I regard this as merely gender reversal of the size queen issue.
I donât condemn the women (or men, I suppose, for that matter) on these boards who claim that they need a âbiggerâ man in order to be truly sexually satisfied. In the same way, I refuse to condemn you.
gwinea2000:
Well, I know it's easy to have your initial response be "Stop being selfish!" But think about this: He's 20, she's 19. She's his first. If they get hitched, she'll (ideally) be his last. If he's frustrated now, give it 5 years. 10 years. 20, etc. You can't discount the effects of sexual frustration.
There may well be ways top work around the issue at hand (as I have in the past). In fact, that's all he's asking. However, your comments of "Well, then you don't really care enough to marry her" are bullshit. They CERTAINLY aren't very "Support Group"-like in nature.
Amen to what Aloof said.
You may want to think of what will pleasure HER, not just YOU. (HELLO!!!
Originally posted by mark&brad@Feb 11 2005, 09:50 PM
If you love doggy style sex too much to give it up for her, how likely is a marriage?
[post=282099]Quoted post[/post]
Well, I know it's easy to have your initial response be "Stop being selfish!" But think about this: He's 20, she's 19. She's his first. If they get hitched, she'll (ideally) be his last. If he's frustrated now, give it 5 years. 10 years. 20, etc. You can't discount the effects of sexual frustration.
There may well be ways top work around the issue at hand (as I have in the past). In fact, that's all he's asking. However, your comments of "Well, then you don't really care enough to marry her" are bullshit. They CERTAINLY aren't very "Support Group"-like in nature.
NineInchCock_160IQ:
6-7 in girth is pretty big.
Anyway all women are different. The chances that you are simply too big at 8" is very unlikely unless your gf is exceptionally small. When fully aroused the average vagina is nine inches in depth. To reach full arousal you might want to try extensive foreplay before entering her, this may alleviate your problems. Make sure she is extremely wet and aroused already before you even try, and then work your way up from shallow to deeper penetration and she can probably take you in a lot deeper than she would be able to otherwise. If she is capable of multiple orgasms (most women are) and open to the idea try making her come once or twice with oral before penetration. On the second time include so insertion with fingers or small toys. If she complains about uncomfortable sensations when you penetrate her doggy-style try slightly different positions (if she is willing to cooperate). supported, semi-supported or standing doggy all make for different angles of penetration, you could have her lay on her stomach with her hips pointing upward or maybe try reverse cowgirl first, with her facing away from you lowering herself on to you so she has a little more control over depth and angle of penetration, until you find something that works.
If you've done all this the problem is likely not anything you are doing wrong. The problem may be completely with her. Women are not all the same, you might just have to accept this. There are a lot of physical differences. Some women are much more sensitive than others. Some are more easy to arouse than others. Some get wetter than others. Some are better equipped to handle well-endowed guys than others. A lot of this problem could be physical things that your girlfriend has no way of changing. However a LOT of this is also probably mental. Different people have different thresholds for pain and discomfort and everyone thinks about sex in different ways. When I penetrate my partner I like to go in deep, push the head of my dick up against the back wall of their vagina, massage their cervix. This drives some girls wild. Others complain that it hurts. I think most experience a comibination of sensations, pleasurable and painful. Sometimes it is painful for me as well to go in to someone that deep, but I don't care. It feels great. For some people the line between pleasure and pain is not very distinct. Like myself, I am not a sadist or a masochist but I do like rough sex once in a while, I have made myself and others bleed through intercourse, I like a little playful biting. Some people simply cannot combine the two, and though this may be their loss it can be difficult convincing someone who hasn't already warmed up to the idea themselves that a little bit of pain or discomfort can be a good thing. If you ever hear the words "oooooh... that hurts soooooo good" you'll know you've got a keeper.
In your case, since you are serious about your gf and even considering marraige, talk about these issues with her. See what she thinks. Be open and honest and frank. Don't try to pin the blame for anything on her if that can be avoided, she'll just get defensive. See what she wants and maybe you can work something out where you are both satisfied.
6-7 in girth is pretty big.
Anyway all women are different. The chances that you are simply too big at 8" is very unlikely unless your gf is exceptionally small. When fully aroused the average vagina is nine inches in depth. To reach full arousal you might want to try extensive foreplay before entering her, this may alleviate your problems. Make sure she is extremely wet and aroused already before you even try, and then work your way up from shallow to deeper penetration and she can probably take you in a lot deeper than she would be able to otherwise. If she is capable of multiple orgasms (most women are) and open to the idea try making her come once or twice with oral before penetration. On the second time include so insertion with fingers or small toys. If she complains about uncomfortable sensations when you penetrate her doggy-style try slightly different positions (if she is willing to cooperate). supported, semi-supported or standing doggy all make for different angles of penetration, you could have her lay on her stomach with her hips pointing upward or maybe try reverse cowgirl first, with her facing away from you lowering herself on to you so she has a little more control over depth and angle of penetration, until you find something that works.
If you've done all this the problem is likely not anything you are doing wrong. The problem may be completely with her. Women are not all the same, you might just have to accept this. There are a lot of physical differences. Some women are much more sensitive than others. Some are more easy to arouse than others. Some get wetter than others. Some are better equipped to handle well-endowed guys than others. A lot of this problem could be physical things that your girlfriend has no way of changing. However a LOT of this is also probably mental. Different people have different thresholds for pain and discomfort and everyone thinks about sex in different ways. When I penetrate my partner I like to go in deep, push the head of my dick up against the back wall of their vagina, massage their cervix. This drives some girls wild. Others complain that it hurts. I think most experience a comibination of sensations, pleasurable and painful. Sometimes it is painful for me as well to go in to someone that deep, but I don't care. It feels great. For some people the line between pleasure and pain is not very distinct. Like myself, I am not a sadist or a masochist but I do like rough sex once in a while, I have made myself and others bleed through intercourse, I like a little playful biting. Some people simply cannot combine the two, and though this may be their loss it can be difficult convincing someone who hasn't already warmed up to the idea themselves that a little bit of pain or discomfort can be a good thing. If you ever hear the words "oooooh... that hurts soooooo good" you'll know you've got a keeper.
In your case, since you are serious about your gf and even considering marraige, talk about these issues with her. See what she thinks. Be open and honest and frank. Don't try to pin the blame for anything on her if that can be avoided, she'll just get defensive. See what she wants and maybe you can work something out where you are both satisfied.
foozballnow: THANK YOU gwinea. My post was completely taken out of context. I am not saying i want to dump her for someone who will fit. I was asking how to fix this and if we were to only ones having this problem. like i said also, we've had problems in the past (ie the cutting of her opening) and worked through it. doggy is fun but not essential. Im frustrated for me not her. If anything, i feel bad for her having to put me in her. we have found plenty of other positions, some work, most dont. she just cant seem to take the pressure. i get frustrated because i want to please her and when i get into it i feel guilty if i cause her pain.
chicago, no shes not petite, i mean shes 5'5" and like a size 4.
The main reason i came here was because i have only had two partners, my current love, and the other one i didnt care about, i really have nothing to compare so i didnt know if we were doing something wrong. now i know that we arent the only ones and we will just have to find a solution, or do another position.
chicago, no shes not petite, i mean shes 5'5" and like a size 4.
The main reason i came here was because i have only had two partners, my current love, and the other one i didnt care about, i really have nothing to compare so i didnt know if we were doing something wrong. now i know that we arent the only ones and we will just have to find a solution, or do another position.
foozballnow: Thanks nineinch for the info. just a little info though, the foreplay and arrousal before is essential to not cutting her(our previous problem) so thats covered. plus we use plenty of lube. the other thing is about the multi-orgasm, i know she is capable but i dont think she likes it because once she has orgasmed, it doesnt feel the same to her and she wants to stop which is fine. She also cant orgasm during sex. well i take that back she couldnt up until recent. clitoral stimulation is a must or its no go. which limits the positions we can do but its really stimulating for both of us. i think the inability to orgasm is a mental thing and we have been working on that as well. she did have a instance in her childhood that i believe could be blocking her ability to fully open up to sex. I am working with her on this and we talk about it. she orgasms now during sex, sometimes i am first but i still stay big enough for her to work with lol. Its better than nothing it used to be she couldnt orgasm no matter if sex was 5 seconds long, or five hours long. so we are making some headway. thanks for the help everyone
gamma_phi: Having a penis larger than average comes with some responsibility. It's your responsibility to know that some women might not be able to handle what you've got. Keep that in mind when entering and so forth - be gentle as possible to make it pleasurable for both of you. My wife can't take it when I put her knees up to ears and pound away, but she loves doggystyle. Find the positions you both like the best and use em most of the time. Try some new ones every now and then to see if she has "grown" with you, or is so aroused that she can handle it this time. Communication is key, if she says it's not feeling good, change up and try something else.
i can't say much more than what has been said already
just quick suggestion
u said u use ky jelly all the time.
u better use ASTROGLIDE which is just amazing and much better
then begin the fucking in some other easy positon, let her adjust her vagina to your penis and when it is fully expanded u can slowly try to fuck her doggy style..
it may work... at least it did for me...
just quick suggestion
u said u use ky jelly all the time.
u better use ASTROGLIDE which is just amazing and much better
then begin the fucking in some other easy positon, let her adjust her vagina to your penis and when it is fully expanded u can slowly try to fuck her doggy style..
it may work... at least it did for me...