Dominating - advice from women

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by OK2K, Jul 22, 2010.

  1. OK2K

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    So my girl tells me a few days ago that she wants me to be more dominating in bed....

    I'm pretty sure I'm capable of this but I've never actually done it much and am looking where to start and maybe if some of you had some tips. A few of the things she's mentioned that she'd like is light hair pulling and some light bondage.

    The only reason I'm looking for some advice is just to try to figure out how far is "too far"? I've actually asked her stuff like that but I don't think she's fully figured out what she wants yet, which makes it pretty tough to figure out on your own! Being raised a good Catholic girl has made her pretty repressed when it comes to talking about it.

    One thing I do know is that she loves a big cock......well, at least she loves it when I talk dirty about my cock when I'm fucking her.

    Anyways, if any of you have some good advice or some more questions.....let me know!
     
  2. petite

    petite New Member

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    Start very tame. You can always get bolder, but if you go too far, you may never regain the trust that you've lost. Start as tame as possible, especially since you're both new to it.
     
  3. thetramp

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    Just go step by step, and explore together with her how far she enjoys it.
     
  4. someone1

    someone1 Active Member

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    women always wanna be dominated, id liek to meet one who would have it the other way round occasionally!
    it depends what she likes i guess, being rough? talking dirty, treat her like a slut? loads of girls like that
     
  5. petite

    petite New Member

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    I think there's lots of girls who like it the other way around, too. I know a few. :smile:

    I like tying TheBF up, but it's really not a dominance/submission thing. I mean, it's not like I make him call me Mistress or I make him say or do anything. I mostly just worship his cock while he's tied down.
     
  6. someone1

    someone1 Active Member

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    i've not met a single one!
    i think there's probably a feeling that a big cock should be dominating or something?
     
  7. petite

    petite New Member

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    Well, you have to go where they will be found. Are there any S/m clubs nearby? Any goth clubs or clubs with a "goth night?" There's also online. You could go to collarme.com A lot of people meet their match there.
     
  8. someone1

    someone1 Active Member

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    i dont want it to be some sort of lifestyle, just a girl who happens to liek dominating in bed lol
    but yea im hijacking this thread- more advice for the man?
     
  9. thetramp

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    I've met girls who like to dominate and those who like the back and forth the most.
    Just normal girls. I met in school, through friends, the supermarket and bars.
     
  10. pain4anangel

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    Just aren't looking in the right places :wink: Depends if you could handle it or not :biggrin1:
     
  11. idesofmarch

    idesofmarch New Member

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    OP

    If she doesn't know, the only way to find out is to try and see how she reacts. She already opened up about her interest being dominated, she will tell you the rest, step by step.
     
  12. petite

    petite New Member

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    There are so many ways you could dominate, the problem is that she probably has some specific ideas of what she wants from you, and she obviously hasn't let you know what those ideas are, which is why you're asking us, isn't it?

    Maybe you could ask her to show you some porn that shows what she likes? Or an erotic story? Or a scene from a movie? Those questions are a lot easier to answer than an open-ended, "Can you describe what you want?" because that involves verbalizing things that may make her shy to say. It's easier if she can email you a link to a video on xtube.com or xvideos.com or show you an erotic story or mention a scene from a movie that turned her on, something like that.
     
  13. OK2K

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    Hmm, good advice Petite....

    She has a hard time finding porn she enjoys though, she's quite peculiar. She reads these Beatrice Small novels that seem to really get her turned on, maybe I'll have a look through those.
     
  14. Chaotica

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    Really?
     
  15. petite

    petite New Member

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    Yeah! Ask her what her favorite part is because you want to read it, say it's "for ideas" and I bet she'll show you exactly what she's thinking of. :smile:

    She'll love that you asked.
     
  16. B_New End

    B_New End New Member

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    Be original. Porn that in any way looks like sex my gf and I had (and it sounds like your GF wants what we had) is just about impossible. It's either degrading throat fucking, leather and whips, or vanilla sex. Soft domination porn for some reason just doesn't exist.

    But I'd say, just let your inner animal out when you feel something inside you growl. If you two are in sync, she'll appreciate it.

    A good start is tying her hands with her panties. That always seems to be a nice intro to domination for me. I've never had a girl object. Or get her panties down to her ankles, but not off, then twist them and use them, grab them, like her ankles are tied up. Good stuff, trust me.
     
  17. OK2K

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    New End, that's gold! I'll keep that stuff in mind.......bet she'd love it
     
  18. petite

    petite New Member

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    I don't think the "be original" idea is a good idea. At least not in the very beginning. Later on, yes, go with your instincts there.

    I bet that she has a clear idea of what she specifically wants, and it's better if he has an idea of what that is by asking her to guide him. When I talk to women about their fantasies, they have very particular things they're looking for, not just any ole "dominating" behavior. Most women have specific fantasies that guide what they want. I have a feeling the OP doesn't have any idea what those fantasies are, and she'll be much more satisfied if he taps into what she's looking for.

    It would be cleverer if he could find some way to get her to communicate what it is that she wants instead of just making it up.
     
    #18 petite, Jul 22, 2010
    Last edited: Jul 22, 2010
  19. HiddenLacey

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    I've read Beatrice Small before, most of it is romance based.

    I would suggest you to make a list. A list of everything you could think of that is dominating and give it to her when you are not going to be around. Fold it in half, put it in an envelope or whatever. Give it to her and tell her she cannot open it until you leave.

    On the first page at the top you could explain that you want her to read the list and mark things she is interested in trying as yes, no or maybe and return the list to you later or lay it on your desk... whatever.

    This way if she is shy about certain things you are offering her a chance to tell you what she really wants. You could look at the list later with an open mind and know what she is interested in.

    This is just a suggestion. Sometimes it can be hard to talk about these things. :eek:)
     
  20. pain4anangel

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    OK2K...check your email.
     
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