Dominating - advice from women

[B_New End]

*high fives West End!*

woohoo *high five* boys rule!! We don't need no girlz!

 

[Catnub]

We should cunningly turn this thread into a boy outpost, deep in enemy territory.

 

[B_New End]

We should cunningly turn this thread into a boy outpost, deep in enemy territory.

yes, let's make some secret rules too secret for girls to figure out.

 

[B_subgirrl]

Don't say, "Would it be ok if maybe I spanked you?" while sitting in the living room. Walk up to her while shopping for groceries, grab her ass, and whisper in her ear, "I'm gonna slap your ass* red when I get you home for making me so hard" She'll either laugh, and say. "No you won't!" or she'll laugh and then say... "mmmmmm".

Exactly! This is a perfect example of what I mean when I say that you don't need to talk too much, just watch for body language and don't dive straight in. I'm saying 'mmmm' BTW :biggrin1:.

*high fives West End!*

That point about her being a repressed Catholic schoolgirl is interesting, as my fiance comes from the opposite approach. She's not repressed in the least and is very open about her sexuality, so for her it's not about evading moral responsibility. I think it's actually primarily about feeling protected (as she's had some bad experiences in life), and wanting me to project strength in order to get that feeling.

The feelings of protection and safety are one of the highlights of D/s for me. I love being able to let go of the sensible, aware part of my brain because I know someone else is taking care of me.

We should cunningly turn this thread into a boy outpost, deep in enemy territory.

Good luck, boys! I'm enjoying this thread too much to let you lot turn it into boy-land :biggrin1:

 

[pain4anangel]

Heh I was raised a good catholic girl too and look how I turned out. I am still a good girl...just not catholic...and a bit more ummm expressive now. I was a virgin until I was 24 too and never did anything but kiss a few times before that age. I kinda blew it out of the water. I began noticing my preferences though well before I had sex.

And the whole ass smacking in the store thing...*mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm* VERY HOT!

 

[B_New End]

I was a virgin until I was 24 too and never did anything but kiss a few times before that age.

me too, actually. (I fooled around a tiny bit with my first g/f when I was 20) raised strict Pentecostal though. Kind of like Catholic, except less penance and more hell.

 

[deleted356736]

When it comes to soft domination, there really is no need to ask, you just do, and receive feedback later. The worst that can happen is she'll laugh at you, and in my experience, the domination gets rougher over time. The best time to talk about it is afterwards, not before. It's just one of those nice things about sex where afterward the couple talks about what they liked and did not like. More than likely she does not want to discuss safe words and pain. You can talk before in abstracts, throw out hints, and even mention what you want to do/will do, and she will respond either positively or negatively. Don't say, "Would it be ok if maybe I spanked you?" while sitting in the living room. Walk up to her while shopping for groceries, grab her ass, and whisper in her ear, "I'm gonna slap your ass* red when I get you home for making me so hard" She'll either laugh, and say. "No you won't!" or she'll laugh and then say... "mmmmmm".

This is what worked for us: me starting soft on her, reading her reaction at the time, talking about it later, and getting harder over time. Only it actually happened during sex, and not at the supermarket. Either way it worked, and probably wouldn't have if I hadn't done it that way.

 

[B_curiousme01]

She has a hard time finding porn she enjoys though, she's quite peculiar. She reads these Beatrice Small novels that seem to really get her turned on, maybe I'll have a look through those.[/QUOTE]
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I have probably read all of Beatrice Small's novels and I don't recall any donimation "how to" answers in them. Her men all have pretty much the same things in common...men who fall in love with strong woman; men who do not have any sexual hang-ups, but primarily they are all "Warrior" type men who have been "tamed" (ie, they get married and live happily ever after) by a strong personality.

Maybe playing dress up with a new toy or two will lead to something she is looking for.

Since you know she likes historical based erotica, gift her with a book by Sylvia Day

 

[D_sdudrYTFY]

So my girl tells me a few days ago that she wants me to be more dominating in bed....

I'm pretty sure I'm capable of this but I've never actually done it much and am looking where to start and maybe if some of you had some tips. A few of the things she's mentioned that she'd like is light hair pulling and some light bondage.

The only reason I'm looking for some advice is just to try to figure out how far is "too far"? I've actually asked her stuff like that but I don't think she's fully figured out what she wants yet, which makes it pretty tough to figure out on your own! Being raised a good Catholic girl has made her pretty repressed when it comes to talking about it.

One thing I do know is that she loves a big cock......well, at least she loves it when I talk dirty about my cock when I'm fucking her.

Anyways, if any of you have some good advice or some more questions.....let me know!

Hi, have her call you master or daddy, call her dirty names, make her beg for your cock, and tease her with orgasm control. Hope you like. Lips

 

[tgirlsrgreat]

I think there's lots of girls who like it the other way around, too. I know a few. :smile:

I like tying TheBF up, but it's really not a dominance/submission thing. I mean, it's not like I make him call me Mistress or I make him say or do anything. I mostly just worship his cock while he's tied down.

good god, you turn me on!

 

[D_Hillary_Clitton]

In life, I have a very dominant personality type, and I'm a very open and sexual person. In bed, I just want a man to have his way with me. I think it really helps a woman to feel WOMANLY... as much as it is "macho" for her male partner. I love biting, hair pulling, spanking... But above all, I love being grabbed and pounded into, very sexy. My current man is not into all of this quite yet, but he is gradually getting comfortable, so when he does get slightly rough with me, it's such a turn on.

 

[Mike7]

There is a book written by a woman called "Just Fuck Me". It's a woman's guide to men taking more control in bed.

 

[Midlands Meat]

Just aren't looking in the right places :wink: Depends if you could handle it or not :biggrin1:

I'd like to see if I can ;-)
Feel free to add me if interested, big.slut on skype