Don't enjoy anal but enjoy watching it

Discussion in 'Sex With a Large Penis' started by bigbadger, Nov 5, 2010.

  1. bigbadger

    bigbadger Active Member

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    I know there are several other gay men on this site, so I am hoping this is a good place to ask this question.

    To my knowledge, I am not the only gay man who does not enjoy having anal sex with other men. While I have tried it before, top and bottom, it is not something I truly enjoyed. Maybe it is because of a lack of practice or experience, but for the most part I found it to be akward, uncomfortable, and not pleasurable. While I would be willing to try it again, it is not something I am looking forward to or actively seek out.

    On the other hand, I enjoy watching gay porn in which other men are engaging in anal sex. While I do not truly get turned on by the thought or act of anal sex for myself, I really love watching two men go at, and always get off watching men fucking other men.

    I was wondering if this was a weird sensation or phenomena or whatever you want to call it. And I am guessing this is not unique too me, I am sure there are gay and strait people, who get off watching certain sexual acts but do not actually enjoy the act themselves.

    Just wondering what others had to say, particularly other gay men.
     
  2. tgirlsrgreat

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    :shocked1:"I know there are several other gay men on this site":adam4:


    really?? never noticed!!

    sorry, carry on!


     
  3. petite

    petite New Member

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    Well, even though you have stated that you prefer the opinion of gay men, let me just say that I totally understand where you are coming from. I've always enjoyed watching anal sex in porn, both MF and MM, but until recently I didn't enjoy doing it. I don't think that sounds strange at all. Some things are better as fantasies anyway.

    According to Dan Savage, something like 25% of all gay men don't engage in anal sex anyway, so it's not like you're totally unique.
     
  4. houtx48

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    "Some things are just better fantasies"............No kidding
     
  5. EllieP

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    Well, I'm not a gay male, but I don't think anal is something I would enjoy myself. My husband says he could be gay except for the being with another guy thing. He likes the finer things, is very sensitive, keeps well groomed, and would rather spend an afternoon chatting with a bunch of old women than watch football. The whole butt thing escapes him though. I know he's had some gay episodes way back before I knew him, but it was usually receiving oral and he never reciprocated. So I guess he might be a half-percent in favor of the other team.
     
  6. bigbadger

    bigbadger Active Member

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    Yes, I was hoping that gay men would reply to this post, but I appreciate and enjoy the response of any members here. So thank you for the feed back, and the information. I always enjoy hearing the opinion of women when it comes to sexual matters as well.

    While I have not heard that exact quote from Savage myself, I have heard similar information regarding gay men who do not engage in anal sex. So thank you again EllieP for the response.
     
  7. Bbucko

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    I spent the better part of my 20s avoiding anal because I have no talent for bottoming and found most guys were interested in a "flip" situation, so rather than even bring it up, I stuck to oral-only scenes. Of my seven long-term relationships, three were pretty strictly oral-only (and/or JO: no anal) and two were predominantly oral (very infrequent anal).

    As I got older (into my 30s), I began to find oral/JO only increasingly dissatisfying and was much more aggressive about seeking non-versatile bottoms, with whom there's never be a question of "flipping"; I also found that "pro" bottoms understood the necessity of having properly douched and needed much less in the way of warm-up (though, of course, foreplay was still a requirement). With them I found they experienced little or no discomfort, only intense pleasure.

    It wasn't until I was fairly deeply into my 40s that I abandoned the oral/JO-only approach as acceptable. I guess there are lots of reasons for this. First: as you get older, being a credible non-versatile top becomes more acceptable (especially when you're as short/slight as I am); second: I have found a large pool of non-versatile bottoms here in FtL which simply did not exist in the Boston of my 20s (it's not called Ft Bottomdale for nothing); third: I'm much, much more confident about my sexual prowess; fourth: as I practice edging now, a 3-6 hour oral session would just be too great a test of my endurance (seriously).

    As to the difference/disconnect between interesting porn scenarios and what I practice in my own life: much more than half of the hundreds of gigs of porn on my external hard drive is straight, or at least includes women among the participants. What I like in porn had little if any bearing on what I actually do in bed (and never has).
     
  8. erratic

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    You, sir, are every bit as normal as queer guys with cock-hungry asses. If you ask me, don't worry about it. I don't know any statistics on it, but in conversation a lot of queer men I know (and there's little we love to talk about more than sex) think the idea of anal is hot, but doing it isn't unless it's with someone you're absolutely head-over-heels for. And even then some guys aren't down with it.

    There's this weird idea out there that gay guys absolutely have to enjoy anal. It's simply not true. There are lots of stats showing that's false. I know in a recent survey I saw of Toronto queer men (and women) oral sex was by far the most common form people said they did regularly.
     
  9. MeneerDeBeer

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    Nothing weird about it at all. Personally, I don't really find watching guys having anal sex that much of a turn-on myself, however, I do like penetrating another guy. But I've tried being a bottom, and it just simply doesn't work for me. So there you go.
     
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