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Don't Fart in Bed
This is a story about a couple who had been happily
married for years.
The only friction in their marriage was the husband's
habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.
The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make
her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping
them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop
it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she
was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out!
Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the
turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the
bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and
all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her.
She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband
was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled
back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of
turkey guts into his shorts.
Some time later she heard her husband waken with his
usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the
sound of frantic footsteps as he ran in! to the bathroom. The wife
could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in
her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back
pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came
downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his
face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.
He said, "Honey, you were right." "All these years you
have warned me and I didn't listen to you."
"What do you mean?" asked his wife.
"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up
farting my guts out, and today it finally happened.
But by the grace of God, some Vaseline and two
fingers, I think I got most of them back in."
This is a story about a couple who had been happily
married for years.
The only friction in their marriage was the husband's
habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.
The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make
her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping
them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop
it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she
was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out!
Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the
turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the
bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and
all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her.
She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband
was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled
back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of
turkey guts into his shorts.
Some time later she heard her husband waken with his
usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the
sound of frantic footsteps as he ran in! to the bathroom. The wife
could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in
her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back
pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came
downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his
face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.
He said, "Honey, you were right." "All these years you
have warned me and I didn't listen to you."
"What do you mean?" asked his wife.
"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up
farting my guts out, and today it finally happened.
But by the grace of God, some Vaseline and two
fingers, I think I got most of them back in."
