Dont Fart in Bed

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by Rikter8, Jan 17, 2006.

  1. Rikter8

    Gold Member

    Jun 30, 2005
    Likes Received:
    Don't Fart in Bed

    This is a story about a couple who had been happily
    married for years.

    The only friction in their marriage was the husband's
    habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.

    The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make
    her eyes water and make her gasp for air.

    Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping
    them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop
    it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she
    was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.

    The years went by and he continued to rip them out!

    Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the
    turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the
    bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and
    all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her.

    She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband
    was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled
    back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of
    turkey guts into his shorts.

    Some time later she heard her husband waken with his
    usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the
    sound of frantic footsteps as he ran in! to the bathroom. The wife
    could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in
    her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back
    pretty good.

    About twenty minutes later, her husband came
    downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his
    face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.

    He said, "Honey, you were right." "All these years you
    have warned me and I didn't listen to you."

    "What do you mean?" asked his wife.

    "Well, you always told me that one day I would end up
    farting my guts out, and today it finally happened.

    But by the grace of God, some Vaseline and two
    fingers, I think I got most of them back in."
  2. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
    Gold Member

    Mar 5, 2002
    Likes Received:
  3. Matthew

    Gold Member

    Aug 27, 2005
    Likes Received:
    California (US)
    Dutch Oven.

    Enough said.
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