Don't Know What to do...

D_Ty_Le_Knott

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Over the past couple weeks I've done some pretty crappy things, messaging someone accusing them of not being interested in me... Today I definitely feel like I made it worse by more messaging and what not. Now I'm not sure what to do, I really like the person, but I would be very surprised if they were still into me, which sucks. Just wondering what I should do, as I've apologized countless times, but always seem to fuck up, become paranoid and loose it. Looking for any advice on what to do. Sorry if this is in the wrong forum as well... Thanks!
 

funguy3

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honestly. let it go. for a while. i went through something similar last year, and the more you fight, cling, message, plead, apologize, the more neurotic, obsessed and clingy you seem.

In my experience, just... cool off for a bit. it's terribly difficult to do, but it's usually for the best, if you want to salvage anything. And don't message them letting them know you're going to do it. just do it on your own. wait for them to either initiate contact, or you run into them in person.

just my two cents.
 

NicholasSommerby

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^I have to agree with the above. Just leave it be and give them time/room to breathe and figure things out.

You really have to be careful with how you message people. As mentioned, the way you're doing it and if you continue, it really comes off as obsessive and clingy, which people tend to be really weirded out by. Just take some time and catch a breath. Don't worry so much over it. At this point, I'd say just wait until they message you before you even do anything. In the meantime, do some meditation or something and just calm your mind. The last thing you want to do is really start stressing out over anything.
 

rbkwp

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Agreed

sounds like you may well have to give up on him / her. for the time being
perhaps a final is to let the person know, they are welcome to contact you, if and or when, they are ready?
 

D_Ty_Le_Knott

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Yeah you guys are all right... Problem is I've screwed up so bad I don't think there will be any more chances with the person, which sucks because I really liked them. Not much I can do now though, the damage is done unfortunately :frown1:
 

THEDUDEofDestiny

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Over the past couple weeks I've done some pretty crappy things, messaging someone accusing them of not being interested in me... Today I definitely feel like I made it worse by more messaging and what not. Now I'm not sure what to do, I really like the person, but I would be very surprised if they were still into me, which sucks. Just wondering what I should do, as I've apologized countless times, but always seem to fuck up, become paranoid and loose it. Looking for any advice on what to do. Sorry if this is in the wrong forum as well... Thanks!

Leave them him/her along, plenty of fish in the sea, etc
 

D_Ty_Le_Knott

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You're right, there are plenty of fish in the sea... Although I think I'm just going to give up and live a life of celibacy hah. I've never had any great relationships, maybe I'm not meant for them...
 

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Yeah, walk away and try to think of what to do differently next time.

Relationships don't come naturally to people, yeah? They're a lot of work, a lot of trial-and-error, and one of those things that we learn about by failing at. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you; it just means you're human.
 

D_Ty_Le_Knott

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Yeah I've definitely made some mistakes, but I'll probably stay single for quite a while... I'm not the type of person who would go out and look, and I've never been approached either, I guess I could be insecure, or not good looking, not sure lol
 

helgaleena

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It takes equal input from both sides for good communication. Try to leave spaces for people to reply. Think of it as playing tennis or ping-pong and keep the ball in the air.

Do not write off the future before it has happened. Continue to communicate, but just let things unfold more easily and think before you text. That might take a bit of imagining-- how would you react if that thing were said to you? And please don't believe that you have screwed up things permanently until it's been six months of no contact.
 

D_Ty_Le_Knott

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I wish it wasn't over, but as of yesterday I'm pretty sure it will be... I don't know the person personally we cammed and chatted for a couple months, I thought we had good communication between us and had planned to meet up at some point. Although yesterday, when I freaked out once again, I told them to delete me from skype, and what not... They haven't deleted me from any friend's list as of yet, but I can't see them ever wanting anything to do with me again, and they also haven't appeared online. Not sure which way it'll go as the person is very understanding or at least has been, but yesterday I really over did it.
 

D_Ty_Le_Knott

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Well, I don't know how to put it, but I basically messaged them on skype, they never answered, I seen them on here and then made assumptions they didn't want to talk to me or didn't really like me... I followed them onto live chat, tried to talk to them there, they refused me on chat as well, and now I feel like a huge loser/ idiot for what I've done. So I'm thinking it's over, the person probably thinks I'm nuts, which I wouldn't blame them haha... Just sucks, I could have freaked them out when I professed my feelings for them :/, not completely sure and I doubt the following on the site helped much either...
 

helgaleena

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That is a bit stalker-ish, demanding their attention when they are not ready to give it. You don't NEED someone you have feelings for so badly that you give away your own self, do you? Work on being your own best friend so you are not acting too dependent with your acquaintances.

My autistic son had to learn not to follow kids in his school around demanding they talk to him when they didn't want to. He didn't always get the signals that a conversation was over. Don't push the river, as the saying goes.

Just because they don't want to talk today doesn't mean they won't talk tomorrow.
 
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D_Ty_Le_Knott

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Yeah I definitely feel like I did push too much, and I did it more than once. To tell everyone the truth I've never had these intense feelings before, so I wasn't sure what to do. I guess I felt like since I had such deep feelings they might too, and they did say they liked me, but I was stupid and skeptical... Now I just wish none of this had happened, because I still really like the person, but I screwed it up, and have even more doubt about wether or not we'll speak again. I probably will not be getting involved with anyone for a while, I just feel stupid, and don't want to pull anything like I did ever again...
 

D_James_A_Farafield

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I'm not sure but OP sounds young to me. It's easy when you're young and naive to become attached to someone you don't really know I'm assuming since from what I gathered the person is from a online chat site???

Best advice is to let it go! I would understand this obsession if OP had something going with this person and it was very brave for OP to profess their feelings to the person BUT i felt it was a little too soon??!

Just my two cents.
 

D_Ty_Le_Knott

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I'm not super young... 23, and yeah I felt stupid telling the person I liked them, but after I did they seemed to say they felt the same, but I felt maybe they were just telling me what I would've liked to hear. I did tell them to let me know if they weren't into me, but they didn't really say... As for not knowing them personally, I don't, it was from this site truthfully, but I did plan on starting something with them if they were up to it, which they seemed to be for some time, but after the shit I've cause I doubt it... I'm just gonna hate myself for a long while instead of trying to start anything new with someone. Probably better off by myself.
 

D_Ty_Le_Knott

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I'm going to try and move on, but I'm probably going to stay single for a long while. I hate having to search for relationships, and I'm not sure I want one after all this... My own fault, I'll be kicking myself in the ass for a very long time!