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Not sure whether to put this in this forum or relationships, but here is the situation:
I met someone amazing. I mean, he says all the right things at the right times, has a fantastic body, knows how to use his dick, and makes me feel like a kazillion dollars. The problem is that I've only cum with him twice. The first time was the first time we had anal sex. The second time was a couple weeks ago, but it took an excruciatingly long time to get there. I don't understand it because he turns me on and often gets me so close--but no cigar.
I thought it might be the pressure to perform. For the most part, he seems fine with it, which is what makes him so fantastic. Last week, he asked if I was going to cum for him, and I said I didn't think I'd be able to. When I asked if it was okay he said--I've been with women. Don't worry. I'm over it. We then laughed and moved on. So the pressure to cum, to get an erection was gone.
Well, I want to keep this special man, so I tried Sildenafil. I tested it alone, and it made me hard. I jerked off, but it was a long time to get to orgasm. Regardless, I got hard, so the chances of reaching orgasm with him seemed better. Then today, we met for more hot sex. I popped a Sildenafil an hour before he arrived to my house. We started off hot, and I got hard for him. Sex was really hopping, and I was sure I'd cum for him. Lo and behold, I couldn't.
He asked me if I was okay with not cumming. Well, I am actually, and he reiterated that he is too, but there was a look of concern on his face. After he left, I sent him a message to explain to him that he was satisfying my needs regardless of cumming and that he gives me incredible pleasure, and orgasm is secondary to that. We made a deal to let go of the concern over my orgasm for a while and just enjoy each other's bodies. He's all for it. My thought is that it will relieve any performance pressure on my part thus making it easier for me to possibly reach orgasm.
This is my concern though. He's been fantastic and agreeable so far. However, I realize that no matter how wild a man drives his partner, it's likely that seeing his partner reach orgasm often is an essential part of sex for him. I'm afraid if I don't reach orgasm with him some time soon, he'll no longer be satisfied with me.
Men especially---have you ever run into this with a partner? Did your need to see your partner cum eventually drive you to look somewhere else? Even hypothetically, if you've never run into this, is your partner's inability to orgasm a deal breaker for you? I'm worried I'm going to lose something so good over something I can't seem to control.
Thank you in advance for any advice.
I met someone amazing. I mean, he says all the right things at the right times, has a fantastic body, knows how to use his dick, and makes me feel like a kazillion dollars. The problem is that I've only cum with him twice. The first time was the first time we had anal sex. The second time was a couple weeks ago, but it took an excruciatingly long time to get there. I don't understand it because he turns me on and often gets me so close--but no cigar.
I thought it might be the pressure to perform. For the most part, he seems fine with it, which is what makes him so fantastic. Last week, he asked if I was going to cum for him, and I said I didn't think I'd be able to. When I asked if it was okay he said--I've been with women. Don't worry. I'm over it. We then laughed and moved on. So the pressure to cum, to get an erection was gone.
Well, I want to keep this special man, so I tried Sildenafil. I tested it alone, and it made me hard. I jerked off, but it was a long time to get to orgasm. Regardless, I got hard, so the chances of reaching orgasm with him seemed better. Then today, we met for more hot sex. I popped a Sildenafil an hour before he arrived to my house. We started off hot, and I got hard for him. Sex was really hopping, and I was sure I'd cum for him. Lo and behold, I couldn't.
He asked me if I was okay with not cumming. Well, I am actually, and he reiterated that he is too, but there was a look of concern on his face. After he left, I sent him a message to explain to him that he was satisfying my needs regardless of cumming and that he gives me incredible pleasure, and orgasm is secondary to that. We made a deal to let go of the concern over my orgasm for a while and just enjoy each other's bodies. He's all for it. My thought is that it will relieve any performance pressure on my part thus making it easier for me to possibly reach orgasm.
This is my concern though. He's been fantastic and agreeable so far. However, I realize that no matter how wild a man drives his partner, it's likely that seeing his partner reach orgasm often is an essential part of sex for him. I'm afraid if I don't reach orgasm with him some time soon, he'll no longer be satisfied with me.
Men especially---have you ever run into this with a partner? Did your need to see your partner cum eventually drive you to look somewhere else? Even hypothetically, if you've never run into this, is your partner's inability to orgasm a deal breaker for you? I'm worried I'm going to lose something so good over something I can't seem to control.
Thank you in advance for any advice.