Do's and Don'ts when PM'ing women online.

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by JennyS, Sep 29, 2007.

  1. JennyS

    JennyS New Member

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    I had this idea while reading the PMSing thread. How about all the women respond with a "do" and a "don't" for the guys when sending PMs to a woman they don't know. I'll start.

    Do have something interesting to say, especially if it's related to something I wrote (which makes it feel less random). "What up?" and "How's it going" and ":biggrin1:" are nice and all, but they're not really interesting enough to make me want to write back.

    Don't ask me where I live, especially right off the bat. I can't tell you how many guys lead off with "Hey, you're in Georgia? Where do you live?" This doesn't feel like small-talk and an opporunity to find some common interests... it feels intrusive and stalkerish (to me at least). It's the kind of thing you might ask someone after you get to know them, but not right off the bat.
     
  2. whatireallywant

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    Very true... also it's best not to get sexually explicit right off the bat. We might think you're a psycho or something! Even if we're open to a purely sexual relationship, having sexually explicit PM's can scare us off. (not saying that any of us are or are not open to that, we all have our own desires and goals that may or may not include that.)

    My best PM's have been comments on threads I have posted to, and that sort of thing. They are usually by frequent posters who I know from seeing their posts on threads. The PM's by people who don't post can seem offputting to many of us.
     
  3. SpoiledPrincess

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    Don't ask to cam

    Don't send the message to a whole load of us

    Don't say 'I love older women'

    Don't give me your phone number/msn or yahoo id/don't ask me to appear in this amazing video you're making

    Do make it personal, let me know the message is for me in particular not just a general one you sent to loads of people

    Do let me know that you're finding something I said or me in particular interesting, not that you're randomly messaging as many women as you can, lack of discernment isn't attractive
     
  4. JennyS

    JennyS New Member

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    Oh yeah, that's a good point too. If you've been posting a lot on the boards, then when you PM a woman she can have some idea of who you are and what you're like (just like you can do the same reading her posts).

    When you're at post count zero, that alone can give a kind of creepiness factor because you know all this stuff about us and we know nothing about you.
     
  5. miss minty

    miss minty New Member

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    i love older women
     
  6. Broken5150

    Broken5150 New Member

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    How funny is this. I was about to start a thread on PM'ing ladies. I have yet to PM anyone on here out fear of getting lambasted for doing it. I for one would appreciate any more guidance on this.

    Thanks Jenny for starting this up, you read my mind.

    Broken:biggrin1:
     
  7. ruffboy

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    i love hott women who love older women..
    come cam in a video with me, we'll make millions...
    did i just say that to everyone?? damn...

    are you talking?
     
  8. SpoiledPrincess

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    If you could see the usual drivel guys send us Broken you'd understand why we sometimes get pissed off about pm's. I don't really think any of us object to a message from someone we've seen around the chat room or the forums that's sent for a point other than to say 'nice tits'.
     
  9. lafever

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    If someone needs the do`s and don`ts on how to pm the ladies then that gives me an idea of what you women must go through, my heart goes out to you all.

    As for my personal pm experiences so far on lpsg:
    I`ve never had anyone thats sent me a pm go beyond any boundries, with the exception of one threat from someone who was later found out to be a faker, other than that i`d have to say everyones been very nice and polite, nothing out of the ordinary for an adult site.

    As for the ladies sending me pm`s, most of the women start off strong and then usaully end up being scared of their own conversations or shy off completly, i`m still trying to figure what thats all about.

    On another note, i`ve had alot of pm`s from men and i must say gay men have very polite manners, and don`t tend to shy off as much as the ladies, if anything the men seem to be more confident, some of the ladies on lpsg could learn alot from the gay guys here.


    lafever
     
  10. JennyS

    JennyS New Member

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    Answer: Volume.

    I get a lot of PMs each day, and I don't even have a gallery posted (I can only imagine what it's like for those who do). A lot of men, if I write them back about something, take it as a sign that I want to be their penpal and keep in touch every day. If it was just one guy, sure, I might have time for that. But it's like a lot of guys, and also my girlfriends, and it's all too much.

    So I might "start off strong", because we're discussing some really interesting topic you raised in the first mail, but then I don't continue things not because I'm shying away or dislike you or anything, but just because I don't have the time to keep up with everyone like that.

    My preference would be for guys to save a lot of the regular day to day chit chat for out on the boards, and just use PMs when there's really something specific they wanted to discuss one on one. Otherwise it's just too overwhelming.
     
  11. Broken5150

    Broken5150 New Member

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    I can understand completely. Some can be real jerks and I hope that I dont ever cross that line. If I do please feel free to bitch slap the shit out of me.:biggrin1:
     
  12. SpoiledPrincess

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    Trust me my life isn't complete unless I've verbally bitch slapped someone that day so if anyone steps out of line I'll always slap 'em back over it :)
     
  13. Broken5150

    Broken5150 New Member

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    Amen sister. Of course some like that kind of thing.
     
  14. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    Don't. Just don't.

    Do have something personalized to say to me if you are going to. Not just 'ur hot want to cam'
    Do speak to me as a lady not your bitch.
    Do write your message knowing that if I don't like it.. I will post it.
     
  15. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    OMG! me too!!!
     
  16. SpoiledPrincess

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    ah my little evil protege :)
     
  17. Broken5150

    Broken5150 New Member

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    Speaking of PM's JennyS just broke my PM cherry and PM'd me. It was amazing and I am still recovering. :rolleyes: Thanks JennyS you are truly my first PM love:tongue: Has a thread been started for virgin PM'rs?
     
  18. D_smack ash

    D_smack ash Account Disabled

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    The verbal bitch slap works
     
  19. lafever

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    I take the time for all my fans and admirers, you never know when the day will come when the pm`ing will just stop. So to all those who pm me just keep on doing so, and i promise i`ll always be there, no matter how busy my life is, because without you i`d drown in my own isolation.

    lafever
     
  20. 36DD

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    I don't mind "nice tits":biggrin1:
     
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