You are Bi, from all your descriptions, and mostly straight. This is how you feel, and what your preferences naturally are. This is easy for me to understand, but maybe not others who are at more extreme ends of the scale. Unfortunately, it is often more difficult to find acceptance being bi, than it is being gay or straight. Straight people see you as gay, which you aren't. Gay people see you as in denial, which you also aren't. You are still young enough to get away with some things, like playing around. So, play---there will be plenty of guys who will want to hook up with you, given your age and what you have to offer. I see nothing in your posts that shows ANY desire for anything emotional with a guy, purely sexual. SO indulge it, if you want, and let it just be sex. But always be honest about yourself, to your partners. If you just need to "get it out of your system" before you proceed on to the life you desire, then go for it. Beware, though, that your true nature, will always be in the background waiting to hit you. You run the risk of letting your other side be denied for a long time, and you could be married, with kids, and have something trip inside, and you'll go out and mess around with guys on the side, trying to hide it until you get caught. And everybody gets caught eventually. Then you run the risk of destroying your life, your wife's life, and your kids life. I have seen this happen to more guys than I care to think about--they hit there 30-50 range, and something explodes, and they do something stupid. If you are truly Bi, and only you can say for sure, then your best bet is to find a truly Bi woman as well, who can understand, and who you can bond a strong relationship emotionally with, and agree to find ways to fullfill you "other" side in safe, agreeable ways. FIghting the jealousy aspect there will be an ongoing battle, but some make it work. Lex is an excellent example of someone who DOES make it work, but I know he and his partner(s) work damned hard at making it work, too. He would be the best person I can think of to ask, and advise you, based on his experience. Whatever your ultimate choices, good luck, and always be true to yourself, and honest with your partners!