Double Lives...

[ruffboy]

wow, this is some of the best posting i've seen here (to be fair, i've only been looking for not too long, but i never expected people to be THIS helpful, sweet!)

i empathize a LOT with not big, not small's plight. was thinking about it driving back from some meetings just now, and this goes for society in general on LOTS of topics but i get so tired of the either/or line of thinking. you either HAVE to be this or you HAVE to be that and davidjh7's comments are massively on the button here, i do have some idea of who i am sexually and its not 100% straight and not 100% gay. why isn't there a "% bi" to choose from on this site? does saying i'm 80% straight and 20% gay mean i'm 100%? why am i even concerned with the labels in the first place? lvsxy808 i totally get your point there, owning who you are, whatever that is, but there are some of us out here who are still not sure what we are cause it changes all the time for one thing.

i don't know, i'm rambling here i think, but at least its cool to know there are a few level headed folks here who are able to give some great points of view, some great advice from lives lived and most of all some great support for those of us on journeys that are a little rocky at the moment.

 

[Not big, not small]

You guys are awesome! At first I thought no one would respond (my posts aren't too popular!), but I guess this topic hit home very deep on some people, like it is to me. In a way, I'm glad to know I'm not the only 'weirdo' that doesn't know what the heck he is. But I'm also glad I'm this way, I've heard and read about those who are bi or 'metro' have the 'best of both worlds'. I don't remember exactly the terms but it basically said you have the best qualities of females and males, like having a male and female personality, that sometimes struggle with each other.. You can be sensible, yet to the point... something like that, and I think it's true for me and I think it makes me more open minded and understanding of anything, male or female issues. I see this cuz I connect very good with female friends and they tell me they can trust me with anything, while they can't do that with other guys, yet they don't see me as gay or bi. I also have, fewer, but good guy friends, but we only connect as far 'str8 friends' do. I notice that none of my guy friends have such close friendships with women, nor men. So I do appreciate this about myself.

I think we can all see, by the deepness of thoughts on these posts, that this is a very sensible issue to some of us and how just by reading other peoples thoughts and support it puts a smile on your face.

 

[dudepiston]

Yeah I have to post here too. I'm married & bisexual, at least in thought, if not deed. Yep, I'm one of "those" guys who seems to know his shit from shinola, but trust me, I understand my sexuality and I'm 100% happy with it. Am I happy over-all? Nope. I wish I could have a lot of things I can't have: wish I could have grown up in a more open time period; wish I were more attractive; wish I had a way with the guys & girls; wish I were more hung. But I'm me & you've just GOT to learn to be accepting of yourself. Just because I'm bi doesn't mean I HAVE to get divorced; nor does it mean I'll ever play around. It just means I have same-sex attractions but truth is, I'd rather NOT have them because 100% straight people have a greater liklihood of being happy in our society. Our society is geared toward this. It's slowly becoming more open & accepting, but when I see a cereal ad on TV where the kids are wanting their breakfast and the parents are both male, THEN I'll know open-ness is truly on its way.

Truth is, I'm conflicted too. I don't know what I *really* want. I know what my dick wants, and so far he's not gotten his way. That's really not good, it's not healthy to deprive yourself of something so important. I've learned that now, and would experiment a LOT more in my youth if I had it to do over again.

Best of luck to you. Needless to say, you're far from alone.

 

[20cm]

You are Bi, from all your descriptions, and mostly straight. This is how you feel, and what your preferences naturally are. This is easy for me to understand, but maybe not others who are at more extreme ends of the scale. Unfortunately, it is often more difficult to find acceptance being bi, than it is being gay or straight. Straight people see you as gay, which you aren't. Gay people see you as in denial, which you also aren't. You are still young enough to get away with some things, like playing around....

Someguy---I want to give you a small piece of advice---because I sttruggled and fought with myself over my sexuality until I was 31. And all that struggling got me was a half-wasted life. I wasted my youth over that struggle, always making excuses for "someday" I'd work it out, and I would devote the time and resources to working towards a relationship with someone, etc...

These posts are so good... the best I have ever read. So true and so full of care. All respect to you davidjh7!

 

[dreamer20]

I hope that you've managed to live and experiment Not, not.