My wife has had (in the past and present) many, many lovers of both sexes. She has had them with my blessing, and I find hearing of her sexual adventures a real turn on that leads to fantastic sessions of very hot sex. She also gets very turned on by my tales of sexual adventure.
We believe it is NOT cheating, because we both have each other's permission to have sexual relationships with other.
Yes, we have created rules that work for us. Isn't that the purpose of a creative life. Neither of us wanted to follow the rules, thank God we found each other and had the courage to change the rules for ourselves!
If creating new rules for yourself and/or your wife or lover, wouldn't work then by all means don't do it. But do know, the reason I call you puritans, is because you not only are offended by our creative life style, but because that while enjoying it we have also had a very happy a successful marriage that has lasted forty years. With a track record like that it seems to me we're doing something right.
Would you rather we divorced because of our actions because that is what the small minded conformists in our society wanted us to do? (And for the record, both my wife and I have been over the years repeated been told by others that it is absurd that we don't divorce each other, you can't have a
"real" marriage and behave as we do. What they can't seem to comprehend is that we love each other very deeply, and together have a wonderful and fulfilling sex life. We also want more, and have the courage to trust each other to get what we personally want.
We do have our cake and are eating it also. It seems to me we should be congratulated for our cleverness (especially in this group) rather than being condemned for our creative life style!