Dr. Seuss(ish) tribute

[paneros]

Little bit of a reflective ditty. . . :smile:

On LPSG
It is true
You will see
An array of some very fine cocks

Though you look high and low
You will find,
To your woe
An inordinate shortage of frocks.

What is this?
What is this?
What could be amiss?
Do our women not want to peruse?

Could it be -surely not?!
That they don't
Give a jot
And it's only ourselves we amuse?

 

[D_Mona Samore]

Visit my page.

 

[Brillig47]

I read your ditty
on the shortage of titty
Twas brief but witty.

No shortage of cocks,
some trolls, some jocks
all getting their rocks
off watching pornstars in socks.

So it's sad but true
that we've far too few
of the feminine hue.
Let's not be blue
coz if I and you
attempt to imbue
this exotical stew

with verse to delight
the ladies, they might
reconsider this site.

 

[paneros]

Why Brillig
You are right!
It is true, we just might!
Attract women with whimsical verse!

As an
Explicit pic
Just does not do the trick
It behooves us our pen to rehearse!

For the
Feminine brain
Might consider us vain
With our wanton display of our jewels.

But with
Verses alight
With wit and delight
They can see we are more than our too-ils! *

Yes, a cock
And a sack
Is the pack a man packs
And of course, women know this already!

But can he
Make her smile?
Is he kind, free of guile?
And romantic, dependable, steady?

For these
Are the traits
Evolution dictates
A man need to impress female lovers.

So, less pics,
More word art,
From our head and our heart,
And they'll queue to jump under the covers!


(* Poetic licence to pronounce 'tools' as 2 syllables: "too-ils".
Common practice for the spoken word in Ireland. Go with it!)

 

[willow78]

:arms: :arms: :arms: :arms: :arms:

Well done paneros and Brillig47 - they are brilliant!

 

[Luvs2Squirt]

:arms: :laugh2:

 

[Brillig47]

I am happy to chime
with the scheme of your rhyme
if you think we might gain the attention

of well endowed chicks
who might then perform tricks
of a nature I hardly dare mention.

One hopes that they can
re-evaluate man
as more than just cock and a body

though the way we behave
on this site - how we rave -
we're as childish as BigEars and Noddy .

Every new thread attests
that the sight of big breasts
can reduce most men's brains to a jelly.

Don't all women despair
that most men seem to care
just for penis, and football, and telly?

Let us pray, you and I,
with a reverent sigh,
that our verses may indicate charms

of the functioning brain
and without further pain,
bring a big breasted chick to my arms!

 

[Oliver_Clothesoff]

Based on some of the comments I’ve heard form some of the ladies.

I know, it’s really just a bunch of limericks all strung together.

While there are girls on LPSG,
Who post pics gynecologists see.
We have quite a few,
Who aren’t looking to screw,
Every well endowed guy that they see.

So maybe we’d have some more chicks,
If we didn’t all act like such hicks.
When we meet a nice lass,
Let’s show her some class,
And don’t ask what she thinks of our dicks.

And whenever a young lady joins,
Let’s not just look at her loins.
But stop for a while,
And notice her smile,
So she’ll know we don’t think with our groins.

And perhaps we would see some more gals,
If we tried to be more like their pals.
Don’t say, "To your side I would race,
Just to cum on your face,
Or any other locals."

And I’m sure girls think it’s the pits,
They might even just call it quits.
If all that they hear,
From the guys far and near,
Are compliments like "Hey, nice tits."

‘Cause I’m certain girls look down their noses,
At guys who suggest certain poses.
That they’d like to see,
From a lady like she,
To look at while they play with their hoses.

Let’s all just keep it in mind,
When we see some gal’s lovely behind.
Don’t say to the lass,
That you’d fuck that ass,
Then maybe more girls we would find.

So the very next time that you see,
Some gal here on LPSG.
Be a nice dude,
And don’t say something crude,
But show what gentlemen we can be.

 

[Brillig47]

Hey, Oliver. No need to apologise for a string of pretty good limericks. (I say pretty good because I'm a stickler for exact rhythm in limericks...you'll just have to forgive me for being a pedantic bollix!)

And may I say...may I say....fine photos of a proud mushroom headed cock (join the club) hugely endowed with a sense of humour, which many women confess is much more of a turn on than a huge cock!

Now you've raised the bar, I'll have to scratch my head with my poetic quill and get to work again!

 

[Brillig47]

REFLECTING ON OLIVER CLOTHESOFF'S OBSERVATIONS

Spare a thought for the male
who's forbidden to fail,
he's compelled by his genes to compete

in his hunt for a mate,
he must not hesitate,
though his passion appears like conceit.

He must prove to his girl
he's a jewel, a pearl,
though his outer appearance be rough,

his Neanderthal ways
won't attract any praise,
a big cock and a club's not enough.

Yet I've laboured in vain
to establish my brain
is much more of a lure than my cock

and on L.P.S.G.
it's apparent to me,
it should hang half-way down to my sock!

But your fate is your fate
(I've explained to my mate)
and here is the factor that clinches,

we must love as we can,
I'm an average man
and my cock is a bare seven inches.

Now of course it's too true
that there's nothing to do
that will make my erection much bigger,

but if I've a spare hour
in my day - I've the power
to diet and firm up my figure.

I'm unwilling to plump
for the use of a pump,
coz my cock might end up a balloon,

and it's perfectly plain
that the pill-merchants' claim
won't deliver results very soon.

You can guess that I'm frantic,
I'm practising Tantric
sex yoga and breathing, what's more

if I write funny verse
things at least won't get worse--
will I find a hot chick to adore?

So, you ladies, please read
through my ill-written screed,
here's a heart and a brain of such size

you'll ignore the huge cocks
of the muscle-bound jocks
while you gaze deeply into my eyes.

 

[BUSTERHYMAN]

Rejected Dr Seuss books:

Are You My Proctologist?

Aunts in My Pants

Fox in Detox

Herbert the Pervert Likes Sherbet

Horton Fakes an Orgasm

Horton Hires a Ho

My Pocket Rocket Needs a Socket

Oh, the Places You'll Scratch and Sniff

One Bitch, Two Bitch, Dead Bitch, Blue Bitch

The Cat in the Blender

The Flesh-Eating Lorax

The Grinch's Ten Inches

Who Shat in the Hat?

Yentl the Lentil

Your Colon can Moo - Can You?

Zippy the Rabid Gerbil

 

[B_Nicodemous]

Bravo to the peots of LPSG! and LOL to buster for his list of Dr. Seuss book that we need to see!

 

[D_Kitten_Kaboodle]

been working on a silly and this is the best place for it .

Li’l Ms. FancyPants (Will You Please Cum Now)
The time has Cum
The time is Now
Li’l Ms. FancyPants will you please cum now?

You can cum in a car
You can cum on a train
You can cum on a boat
Or even in a plane.

You can cum on my face
You can cum on my dick
You can come on my hand
You sure do cum quick!

You can cum in my mouth
Use it as a dish
You can even
Use a dildo if you wish!

Let me feel you shake
Let me hear you scream
Your cum is better
Than any ice cream~

Li’l Ms FancyPants
It’s time you should know
You are the one
That makes my dick grow

 

[siroliver19]

Bravo!

 

[mrnatural]

lol~ the breast with the jest

 

[ronin001]

Fancy Lady, I am sure the good Doctor would be impressed by your verses

 

[dude_007]

"Hey diddle diddle
would you please fiddle
my quib," said the horny young lass

"Of course, how yummy"
said the guy with the tummy
"But first put your thumb up my ass"

 

[D_Kitten_Kaboodle]

^ **giggle**

 

[Indelicate]

lol~ the breast with the jest

Hmmm. Best jest breast?

 

[Indelicate]

You can cum in a car
You can cum on a train
You can cum on a boat
Or even in a plane.

Here a cum
There a cum
Everywhere a cum-cum