Dr. Seuss(ish) tribute

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by paneros, Mar 2, 2011.

  1. paneros

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    Little bit of a reflective ditty. . . :smile:

    On LPSG
    It is true
    You will see
    An array of some very fine cocks

    Though you look high and low
    You will find,
    To your woe
    An inordinate shortage of frocks.

    What is this?
    What is this?
    What could be amiss?
    Do our women not want to peruse?

    Could it be -surely not?!
    That they don't
    Give a jot
    And it's only ourselves we amuse?
     
  2. D_Mona Samore

    D_Mona Samore Account Disabled

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    Visit my page. ;)
     
  3. Brillig47

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    I read your ditty
    on the shortage of titty
    Twas brief but witty.

    No shortage of cocks,
    some trolls, some jocks
    all getting their rocks
    off watching pornstars in socks.

    So it's sad but true
    that we've far too few
    of the feminine hue.
    Let's not be blue
    coz if I and you
    attempt to imbue
    this exotical stew

    with verse to delight
    the ladies, they might
    reconsider this site.
     
  4. paneros

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    Why Brillig
    You are right!
    It is true, we just might!
    Attract women with whimsical verse!

    As an
    Explicit pic
    Just does not do the trick
    It behooves us our pen to rehearse!

    For the
    Feminine brain
    Might consider us vain
    With our wanton display of our jewels.

    But with
    Verses alight
    With wit and delight
    They can see we are more than our too-ils! *

    Yes, a cock
    And a sack
    Is the pack a man packs
    And of course, women know this already!

    But can he
    Make her smile?
    Is he kind, free of guile?
    And romantic, dependable, steady?

    For these
    Are the traits
    Evolution dictates
    A man need to impress female lovers.

    So, less pics,
    More word art,
    From our head and our heart,
    And they'll queue to jump under the covers!


    (* Poetic licence to pronounce 'tools' as 2 syllables: "too-ils".
    Common practice for the spoken word in Ireland. Go with it!)
     
  5. willow78

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    :arms: :arms: :arms: :arms: :arms:

    Well done paneros and Brillig47 - they are brilliant!
     
  6. Luvs2Squirt

    Luvs2Squirt Active Member

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    :arms: :laugh2:
     
  7. Brillig47

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    I am happy to chime
    with the scheme of your rhyme
    if you think we might gain the attention

    of well endowed chicks
    who might then perform tricks
    of a nature I hardly dare mention.

    One hopes that they can
    re-evaluate man
    as more than just cock and a body

    though the way we behave
    on this site - how we rave -
    we're as childish as BigEars and Noddy .

    Every new thread attests
    that the sight of big breasts
    can reduce most men's brains to a jelly.

    Don't all women despair
    that most men seem to care
    just for penis, and football, and telly?

    Let us pray, you and I,
    with a reverent sigh,
    that our verses may indicate charms

    of the functioning brain
    and without further pain,
    bring a big breasted chick to my arms!
     
    #7 Brillig47, Mar 3, 2011
    Last edited: Mar 3, 2011
  8. Oliver_Clothesoff

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    Based on some of the comments I’ve heard form some of the ladies.

    I know, it’s really just a bunch of limericks all strung together.

    While there are girls on LPSG,
    Who post pics gynecologists see.
    We have quite a few,
    Who aren’t looking to screw,
    Every well endowed guy that they see.

    So maybe we’d have some more chicks,
    If we didn’t all act like such hicks.
    When we meet a nice lass,
    Let’s show her some class,
    And don’t ask what she thinks of our dicks.

    And whenever a young lady joins,
    Let’s not just look at her loins.
    But stop for a while,
    And notice her smile,
    So she’ll know we don’t think with our groins.

    And perhaps we would see some more gals,
    If we tried to be more like their pals.
    Don’t say, "To your side I would race,
    Just to cum on your face,
    Or any other locals."

    And I’m sure girls think it’s the pits,
    They might even just call it quits.
    If all that they hear,
    From the guys far and near,
    Are compliments like "Hey, nice tits."

    ‘Cause I’m certain girls look down their noses,
    At guys who suggest certain poses.
    That they’d like to see,
    From a lady like she,
    To look at while they play with their hoses.

    Let’s all just keep it in mind,
    When we see some gal’s lovely behind.
    Don’t say to the lass,
    That you’d fuck that ass,
    Then maybe more girls we would find.

    So the very next time that you see,
    Some gal here on LPSG.
    Be a nice dude,
    And don’t say something crude,
    But show what gentlemen we can be.
     
  9. Brillig47

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    Hey, Oliver. No need to apologise for a string of pretty good limericks. (I say pretty good because I'm a stickler for exact rhythm in limericks...you'll just have to forgive me for being a pedantic bollix!)

    And may I say...may I say....fine photos of a proud mushroom headed cock (join the club) hugely endowed with a sense of humour, which many women confess is much more of a turn on than a huge cock!

    Now you've raised the bar, I'll have to scratch my head with my poetic quill and get to work again!
     
  10. Brillig47

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    REFLECTING ON OLIVER CLOTHESOFF'S OBSERVATIONS

    Spare a thought for the male
    who's forbidden to fail,
    he's compelled by his genes to compete

    in his hunt for a mate,
    he must not hesitate,
    though his passion appears like conceit.

    He must prove to his girl
    he's a jewel, a pearl,
    though his outer appearance be rough,

    his Neanderthal ways
    won't attract any praise,
    a big cock and a club's not enough.

    Yet I've laboured in vain
    to establish my brain
    is much more of a lure than my cock

    and on L.P.S.G.
    it's apparent to me,
    it should hang half-way down to my sock!

    But your fate is your fate
    (I've explained to my mate)
    and here is the factor that clinches,

    we must love as we can,
    I'm an average man
    and my cock is a bare seven inches.

    Now of course it's too true
    that there's nothing to do
    that will make my erection much bigger,

    but if I've a spare hour
    in my day - I've the power
    to diet and firm up my figure.

    I'm unwilling to plump
    for the use of a pump,
    coz my cock might end up a balloon,

    and it's perfectly plain
    that the pill-merchants' claim
    won't deliver results very soon.

    You can guess that I'm frantic,
    I'm practising Tantric
    sex yoga and breathing, what's more

    if I write funny verse
    things at least won't get worse--
    will I find a hot chick to adore?

    So, you ladies, please read
    through my ill-written screed,
    here's a heart and a brain of such size

    you'll ignore the huge cocks
    of the muscle-bound jocks
    while you gaze deeply into my eyes.
     
    #10 Brillig47, Mar 5, 2011
    Last edited: Mar 5, 2011
  11. BUSTERHYMAN

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    Rejected Dr Seuss books:

    Are You My Proctologist?

    Aunts in My Pants

    Fox in Detox

    Herbert the Pervert Likes Sherbet

    Horton Fakes an Orgasm

    Horton Hires a Ho

    My Pocket Rocket Needs a Socket

    Oh, the Places You'll Scratch and Sniff

    One Bitch, Two Bitch, Dead Bitch, Blue Bitch

    The Cat in the Blender

    The Flesh-Eating Lorax

    The Grinch's Ten Inches

    Who Shat in the Hat?

    Yentl the Lentil

    Your Colon can Moo - Can You?

    Zippy the Rabid Gerbil
     
  12. B_Nicodemous

    B_Nicodemous New Member

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    Bravo to the peots of LPSG! and LOL to buster for his list of Dr. Seuss book that we need to see!
     
  13. D_Kitten_Kaboodle

    D_Kitten_Kaboodle Account Disabled

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    been working on a silly and this is the best place for it .

    Li’l Ms. FancyPants (Will You Please Cum Now)
    The time has Cum
    The time is Now
    Li’l Ms. FancyPants will you please cum now?

    You can cum in a car
    You can cum on a train
    You can cum on a boat
    Or even in a plane.

    You can cum on my face
    You can cum on my dick
    You can come on my hand
    You sure do cum quick!

    You can cum in my mouth
    Use it as a dish
    You can even
    Use a dildo if you wish!

    Let me feel you shake
    Let me hear you scream
    Your cum is better
    Than any ice cream~

    Li’l Ms FancyPants
    It’s time you should know
    You are the one
    That makes my dick grow
     
    #13 D_Kitten_Kaboodle, Sep 24, 2012
    Last edited: Sep 24, 2012
    BUSTERHYMAN likes this.
  14. siroliver19

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  15. mrnatural

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    lol~ the breast with the jest
     
  16. ronin001

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    Fancy Lady, I am sure the good Doctor would be impressed by your verses
     
  17. dude_007

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    "Hey diddle diddle
    would you please fiddle
    my quib," said the horny young lass

    "Of course, how yummy"
    said the guy with the tummy
    "But first put your thumb up my ass"
     
  18. D_Kitten_Kaboodle

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  19. Indelicate

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    Hmmm. Best jest breast?:eek:
     
  20. Indelicate

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    Here a cum
    There a cum
    Everywhere a cum-cum
     
    #20 Indelicate, Sep 25, 2012
    Last edited: Sep 25, 2012
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