Dream Job....HUGE Drawback

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by athleticguy, May 9, 2010.

  1. athleticguy

    athleticguy New Member

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    Okay, so I'm graduating from University in the UK in like, 4 weeks. And I've been offered this amazing job for a top magazine in Dubai. I'm going to be running the music/nightlife section, it's well paid - it's literally my dream job.

    At my age, the idea of moving somewhere new, exciting, exotic; it's just driving my wild thinking about it. But there's a problem I'm sure many of you have noticed.

    Homosexuality is outlawed in Dubai.

    That really makes me nervous. You hear stories of people being arrested and jailed even for hetrosexual public displays of affection. I'm most concerned about the idea that I won't meet anyone out there, since homosexuality is so frowned upon.

    Does anyone have any advice? Is it blown out of proportion? Do you think I should go for a job somewhere where I have to lie about who I am?
     
  2. nudeyorker

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    I can't answer your question. You have to answer it for yourself. I would not go, but that's me.
     
  3. goodwood

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    this job sounds like an absolutely amazing opportunity and i think you should take it.
    you won't be at this job forever and it would be a chance to parlay it into something even better - somewhere that doesn't have the restrictive nature.

    i went to school with a guy from pakistan. homosexuality is not accepted there - publicly.
    he was gay but did not let that be known. however he was able to meet and connect with other gay guys quietly.

    as far as i can tell, there is almost always some part of ourselves that isn't/or shouldn't be for public comsumption whether it be ideals, ideologies, politics, religion etc. it has been my personal experience that the culture - be it corporate or geographic - has its own set of moores and i figure out what they are and behave accordingly. i think you could handle it and wish you the best of luck!
     
  4. athleticguy

    athleticguy New Member

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    Thanks for the feedback. I mean I've always taken the stance that who I sleep with isn't anyones business. People don't usually know I like guys, and I don't have a wild enough sex life to get caught in a compromising situation. It's a big enough company to allow me to move anywhere (I have my eye on Melbourne or NY). Dubai would be great though; it's an amazing city, a fantastic culture, also.

    Internet is monitored though, so dunno how I'm gonna look at porn ;)
     
  5. BJs4You IL

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    I tend to think you could survive the repression long enough to get the experience under your belt. And who knows, you might find you can survive there after all for a longer period of time.
     
  6. goodwood

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    there you go athleticguy, now you are using your head. start out in dubai, do a great job and take full advantage of this company and relocate in a year or two. i think you can manage it just fine.
     
  7. slurper_la

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    There are gay people in Dubai, even if they're closeted, so no doubt there's a gay underground.

    I just googled "gay in dubai" and came up a gazillion hits. try it.
     
  8. Brensta

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    There are a few gay guys from Dubai on here I've seen around (ridiculousy cute too) who have mostly said that it's just something they need to keep under wraps rather than being open about it. Public displays are not accepted, but essentially anything that is kept behind doors is OK.

    Dubai is a pretty large western tourism location, so they are a bit more accomodating towards western culture... to a degree of course
     
  9. chgorunner

    chgorunner New Member

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    I would not live anywhere in the Arab world as a homosexual or a women.
     
  10. D_Gunther Snotpole

    D_Gunther Snotpole Account Disabled

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    I'm guessing that the expatriate community is treated more leniently.
    You would have to be pretty much in the face of the authorities for them to take action.
    If you restrict your social and especially your sexual connections to fellow expatriates, at least until you know the lay of the land, you'll probably be okay.
    (But hey ... research this! You can only be wrong once ... and I haven't been in an Arab country for a long time.)

    I'd agree with other posters who advise you to take the job for the leg up ... pun unintended:wink: ... in your career.
     
    #10 D_Gunther Snotpole, May 9, 2010
    Last edited: May 9, 2010
  11. ToySoldier9inch

    ToySoldier9inch Well-Known Member

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    Go get yourself 1TB HD of porn to last for the period of time you'll spend there. I'd go for it, seriously.
     
  12. hungwriter

    hungwriter Well-Known Member

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    Here's why I don't think you should go:

    Yes, it's a great opportunity, but I think that forcing yourself to quell your natural sexual instincts will wear on you faster than you might think.

    Let me pause a moment: By no means am I suggesting that you (or anyone here) runs around like sex maniacs, drooling and cat-calling at every piece of tail that struts by.

    I am saying this: I tried to put myself in your position, and I thought, "What would it be like to have to walk around and not, say, check out top-heavy women?" Because the nature of the law is what alarms me -- to what extent is homosexuality outlawed? You suggested that even heterosexual displays of affection are outlawed. My goodness, why take the risk of winding up in some awful prison?

    If you're good enough to attract that kind of job offer in Dubai, then you're good enough to get a similar job in a country without such a reprehensible, backward moral outlook.

    Just my $0.02! And in any event, good luck!
     
  13. MrToolhung

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    Go for it! I wish I did the things I wanted to do before I settled down. But I don't regret any of my decisions that I have made. However, I have to wonder what my life would be like if I did take those chances that were offered to me.
     
  14. CumSwallower

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    Dubai has a very large expat community in which you will almost exclusively move. There are also may gay guys in Dubai as you will see if you check out gaydar. As for the internet it is not censored in the expat areas.
     
  15. Pitbull

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    I would get the opinions from other young UK gay men that have actually lived and worked in Dubai.

    If you are willing to totally repress yourself that is one thing.
    But in a society where straight married people holding hands in public can land them in jail.
     
  16. yellowman

    yellowman New Member

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    My wife and I frequent dubai and it's is probably one of the most accepting Arab cities in the middle east. We laugh at how homosexuality is frowned on publicly but is practiced by many privately because the men are not allowed to associate with women until they are looking for a wife. My wife explained to me that the women are basically seen as a means of reproduction, but males are for pleasure in the middle east.

    It seems harder to be a single heterosexual guy here, because before my wife and I got married, she had to arrange for me to stay with one of her single guy friends because we could not stay together because we were not married. And if we got caught, we could get in some serious trouble.

    No matter where you go, heterosexual or homosexual, you have to be careful about your relationships they make or brake you. The expatriate community there is pretty close nit and tight. Develop relationships with them and learn the ropes.

    One more thing, before you look at just your sexual gratification available on this opportunity, re-evaluate your goals? Sometimes you have to make some short terms sacrifices for a Long Term Life Gain. Evaluate the experience and the financial Benefits along with the emotional and sexual sacrifices you will have to make. You are the only one who knows what it takes for you to maintain balance and peace in your life. Remember, sexual relationships are not the only type of fulfilling relationships that can be fostered here as well... but being young, I know how sexual frustrations can bleed into the rest of your life. I spend a lot of time in prayer and meditation (I think that's why the Muslims pray so much!... LoL) to cope when I can't see my wife (Oh how i miss her so, we just had a great week in Dubai!)

    Back on topic... after your evaluation and if you decide that the opportunity will help you achieve your goals, then go for it! Record your goals in manner that you evaluate them often and you encounter them daily. Find your path to inner peace to keep out the craziness... mine is through video games, and establish your support network. Your support network will be those people who you know that are for you and can encourage you in hard times. They will also offer sound advice and wisdom.

    My gut feel is that this opportunity will be extremely valuable for you, and offer you a tremendous growth experience.
     
    #16 yellowman, May 10, 2010
    Last edited: May 10, 2010
  17. athleticguy

    athleticguy New Member

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    Wow guys, what a great response! I wish I had the time to send each of you a message; you've all given me something to think about, and I really thank you for that.

    I think at the end of the day, any amount of time spent out there will be beneficial, and as I mentioned, the wiggle-room in the company stretches across most major cities in the world, so I can always head somewhere more liberal at a later stage. I will be extra careful out there, but I'm sure I'll meet someone likeminded :redface:
     
  18. D_Adoniah Sheervolume

    D_Adoniah Sheervolume Account Disabled

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    A buddy of mine has lived in Dubai for many years now, and has a boyfriend. He's very happy there.
     
  19. jtmony08

    jtmony08 Member

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    Take the job, but remember why you're doing it. You're there building your craft, not looking to met someone. If you do met someone (man or woman) and you can keep it hush hush, consider it a bonus. I'm not gay, but as someone who has lived abroad, I can tell you homosexuality is not limited to Western culture. It is by far one of the most dangerous of practices though. So long as you understand laws there are different from the law here. Death is not an uncommon punishment for some crimes. But again, if you're taking the job for sex play, you're taking it for the wrong reason. I say take the job and jerk off until you can find someone you can live your life with freely. As someone else mentioned, there are a number of other Westerners in the area and there's sure to be someone gay. Either way....Good Luck
     
  20. Mikey20

    Mikey20 New Member

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    Its so easy to ignore the value of things we consider "negative" or "bad." Things are different in many places in the world and in Dubai you may find certain restrictions on your freedoms, but I hope if you go you will try to understand their culture and why they think the way they do. Flex your acting muscles and try to be/think like them for a while. Write how you feel, pull wisdom from the situation, and learn more about yourself by learning more about others. If you go, have fun but avoid trouble. I hope this can be an experience that greatly enriches your life.

    Happy travels,
    Mike
     
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